Jew By Choice - Tumblr Posts

I was reading the story of Ruth and Naomi to the little kids in my Hebrew school today. Dear converts,

remember even though you may not have been born Jewish you still are Jewish. You are real Jews. I know the conversion process is really hard and those who converted, congratulations welcome. And to those who are still in the process of conversion, thank you, I know there is a lot going on right now, it’s scary. But you guys still chose to stick with us, even though there has been a lot of antisemitism. If anyone tells you you’re faking it or not real Jews, ignore them, you are real Jews. (The Jewish adgendaTM is to continue to survive, you help with that).

Literally nothing has helped me further in my conversion journey than reading an article which asserted that "The Princess Bride" is a Jewish fantasy film and then rewatching the film with that context in mind.

(I lie, I kid, other stuff has been more helpful. But I'm definitely one of those olds for whom watching "The Princess Bride" on VHS until the tape wore out was a meaningful core memory, so this new understanding of the film kicked me right in the feels.)

I have three styles of posts for this specific blog: posts about Judaism and my conversion, reblogging art and stuff I think is beautiful, and writing about being queer and trans. With two specific exceptions, non-Jews only interact with the latter two types of posts.

I get positive responses from those posts--usually reblogs of the art/photography I've collated, and likes/positive reblogs of my queer/trans-related commentary. When it comes to my Judaism-related posts, I get little response or interaction from non-Jews. The interactions have been sometimes "positive", in that they will like posts which are in direct opposition to posts they will actually reblog. Any direct interaction has been negative. I am extremely quick with the block button, which may be why I don't get a lot of direct attacks as of yet. The "exceptions" I mentioned above are two Christians who are pretty well-known on Jumblr for being cheerful and supportive allies. I think about that a lot, though. Of the cultural and religious Christians who dominate this site, two have consistently shown up for Jews and celebrated Jewish joy and shared in Jewish pain. Two. Two.

I returned to Tumblr as part of my conversion journey specifically to talk to Jews. I live in a non-English-speaking part of the world, so finding other folks who can communicate in English about Judaism and Jewishness has been invaluable to me. The fact of the matter is that I don't actually give a shit if non-Jews and non-Jewish "allies" ignore my Jumblr posts. I expect them to either ignore those posts or engage in harassment. That is normal at this stage of history. If anybody ever wants to break that pattern, I would and do cherish it, as I mentioned above. But broadly speaking, I expect non-Jews to continue to behave exactly as they have been behaving: badly.

I've got a question, which is related to a post I've seen doing the rounds, regarding reblogs of I/P content among the Jumblr community. It's also something I've been wondering as I sit here and scroll, and decide how I respond to all your posts . For my Jewish/Jew-adjacent (if I can use the term) followers, can I ask:

Do you see your posts ever getting a response outside of the Jumblr community?

If yes, what sort? Likes? Reblogs? Comments? Is it positive? Negative? Mixed? Difficult to tell?

The last question I have is slightly controversial, and I apologise if it causes offence. I do mean it in good faith, and am genuinely curious. If you don't want to answer this last one, don't feel you have to.

If you don't get a response from non-Jews or non-Jewish allies, or pro-Palestinians, why do you keep posting? Any and all answers are welcome.

Shalom to you all, and stay strong, as ever. ✡️

Chag erev Shavuot sameach to klal Yisrael but especially to the conversion students and recent gerim - you chose this life at perhaps the most difficult moment in recent memory, and your ahavat Yisrael and new energy and fresh eyes and open hearts and strength are such an important and vibrant part of our people. You are truly following in the footsteps of Ruth Imeinu and I have every faith you will be an integral part of geulah. I hope you have a wonderful and safe holiday, and that your community recognizes how much of a blessing you are!

I am absolutely bringing this up to the beit din.

"See, the pro-Hamas people put me on a list of Jews! You should let me in!"

Heads up jumblr new (((Zionist))) blocklist just dropped

@spot-the-antisemitism

judio por elección

Here is a struggle (but what's new, amirite Jumblr?).

@the-gazpacho-ger and I are working on converting. We are in a part of the world which has nearly no Jews. The closest rabbi to us who's willing to give online classes is five hours away by train. We are both disabled. We cannot drive and we cannot currently move.

The problem, to be brief, is that the rabbi's a dick.

The rabbi is teaching two classes, and he's one of the most unapproachable teachers I've ever had. We tried asking him questions during his lecture: he'd tell us to "shut up" or that he'd answer us at the end, and then never did. We asked questions at the end of the lecture: he'd promise to answer us next class, and never did. My wife emailed him questions which he never responded to. We posted questions to the Google Classroom page which he also, surprise surprise, never responded to. He assigns us "homework" he never checks. He springs "quizzes" on us without telling us what to study beforehand and then screams at us for not knowing anything.

On two separate occasions, the rabbi did not show up for class at all. He never apologized for not showing up. He once promised to give an extra class to make up for the one he missed. He never did, and he didn't even bother to offer another class the second time he didn't show up. It's to the point that we logged into the wrong video call on Tuesday for class, and instead of going "This must be wrong, nobody showed up," my wife and I both assumed "Oh, he's running late again and maybe won't show up, guess I'll sit here in the otherwise-empty video call".

And then, of course, we got called out for being late to class!

The last "class" we had, he asked us to fill out an Excel sheet telling him what we'd learned so far. He never sent us the sheet. He complained in the WhatsApp group that nobody had sent him their answers (@the-gazpacho-ger and I had sent them, but they were in a format he didn't like). When we tried to answer him in WhatsApp, he forbade any students from contacting him via WhatsApp.

He sent the Excel sheet thirty minutes before class. Then he spent twenty minutes of class berating us for not sending it to him, laying out new rules, complaining about how nobody ever asked him any questions, and dipping instead of teaching anything.

The president of the local Jewish organization then spent the next twenty minutes of "class time" berating us for not listening to the rabbi.

Now, we are still both trying to study for our next class, which is in five hours from now. But. We're also seriously questioning whether or not this class is worth it.

The rabbi says he can get us before the beit din in a year's time. But I don't know whether or not I believe him, since trust has been broken so many times already. And frankly, I don't know whether or not he'll throw another tantrum in six month's time and decide we're all useless and don't really care about converting.

The issue is that while our trust has been broken, severely, there's also the fact that there is nobody else. Seriously, I've tried. The best we could hope for would be moving across the country to join a different Jewish community entirely. We moved to the countryside because we cannot afford the city. "Just move" is not an option.

We spent money we could have spent on food or bills on these classes with the rabbi. To be told we're just cosplayers when we're literally going hungry at the end of the month to pay for classes he refuses to teach is damaging. And technically, I guess we could keep going hungry in order to save up for a move... but we can't afford rent, that's why we live in a shitty pile of rocks in the middle of nowhere.

We're both worried that we're going to have to fake liking and respecting this man we don't like and respect just to convert... which feels like a betrayal of the concept of conversion? Like we are both lying in order to convert at that point? There's nobody else who will teach us in online classes. And even if they did, we're afraid the local community won't welcome us anymore if we drop the class... since the president was adamant about how much he supported the rabbi, any sign we don't support him or like him would be taken as a rejection of Judaism.

I should note that both of us have suffered religious trauma when we were growing up. Kowtowing to bad/crappy teachers on the basis of "He's a priest/pastor/bishop/rabbi so he has inherent authority" is the kind of thing that makes both of us want to run away really, really fast.

We don't know what to do.

Should we suck it up and try to get along with this rabbi? Should we pump the brakes, even if it means possibly never getting to convert in the future? Should we seek more online resources for conversion? Should we try again next year?

Are we just pretending we don't know what the answer is and are begging people to reassure us that there's another way?

My heart goes out to the people who are in the middle of their conversion journeys. In the past, long before October, I have joked "you know they're dedicated to convert at a helluva risky time"... But in all seriousness, it is fucking scary being a Jew right now, and I have so much love for my future Jews who see that, who don't have the supports around them of family, who have lost friends to rising Jew Hatred and are still on the path to being a part of our people.

I recognise how tough that is.

It's summer in Spain, which means all my Jewish classes and online services have been cancelled for the next month.. Guess I'll be catching up on my reading!

Hey y'all, @the-gazpacho-ger and I are doing a Yom Kippur service with the local community, then fasting!

It is the first time I'm doing a religious fast, so I'm drinking a ton of water and planning out the food we'll have today before sundown and tomorrow night. I think we'll be okay! Gazpacho's done fasts before so they're a bit more prepared than I am, but that means I have a guide (along with helpful posts from y'all).

This also does mean I will continue to be not on here until Sunday, but then I'll try to get back to anybody who's sent me messages in the interim.

Take care of yourselves. Have an easy fast and a meaningful Yom Kippur.

so real. looking at conservative shuls to convert through and the closest one is across the border in canada 😔😔

Converting-in-a-small-towncore:

-Getting stopped in the middle of the street or store

-Everyone talks about you behind your back (and you only find out when your goyish friends/family mention it)

-Closest shul is at minimum forty miles away

-The closest place for conversion is another one hundred miles away

-It's not unlikely you're the only one like you in the whole town

-Where is the kosher section.

-Having to sacrifice aspects of practice that literally can't be done because of where you live and learning how to accept that

-You're going to be so happy regardless, relishing in the offline, yet equally tiny jewish community you've found

AMAB converts, y’all are so brave. the idea of undergoing circumcision as an adult is so scary. one of my profs was talking about circumcision and he said, and i quote, “it’s a threat. misbehave and i’ll come back for the rest.”

learning about artificial/ornamental ashkenazi surnames is so wild cause like??? what do you mean the austrian emperor just made that shit up

so excited to move to a place with a bigger kitchen cause y’all i’m getting

🔥🗣️🔊‼️‼️stainless steel pots‼️🔥🫡💯🔥🔥

if someone has distant ashkenazi ancestry on their maternal side, in terms of being halachically jewish, do the maternal ancestors need to be provably, religiously jewish or does it suffice that they were of ashkenazi descent?

there are two ways you can be halachically jewish, either your mother is jewish or you converted (halachically, of course)

so if your great grandma were jewish, and she had a daughter who had a daughter who had you, you would all be jewish. if you can miraculously trace a solely maternal jewish line, then you are halachically jewish. (source: https://www.chabad.org/library/article_cdo/aid/3408865/jewish/How-Do-I-Know-If-I-Am-a-Jew.htm)

i am a conversion student even though i have jewish heritage because my mom is paternally jewish and was raised christian, so i am not halachically jewish. converting is also just helpful for deepening your knowledge and understanding of jewish culture !

thinking about the times in middle school i got teased/bullied for being gay/jewish…

how did they know

gotta say i am soooooo glad the people in my immediate circle are all normal about jews. i can come home and talk to my roommates about trying bamba for the first time and none of them flinch when i say it’s an israeli snack. my partner has hours-long drunk conversations with my friends about halacha. my partners mom made sure there were kosher options for me when i visited. i guess it’s just a comfort, knowing that the people with lives, who regularly go outside and touch grass, outnumber the antisemites (at least in my city)

my uni is offering a class called “torah in ancient israel” in the fall and i’m taking it because

1. my university NEVER offers classes like this so i gotta take it to show admin that yes, students are interested in this subject and

2. taking it is part of my grand scheme to get into the talmud class in the spring. it’s taught by the same professor BUT i don’t have the pre reqs for it. so my plan is to become bestest friends with my professor and beg him to let me take talmud please please please

autumn means knitting sweaters and knitting means excess yarn and excess yarn means MATCHING YARMULKES

🎉 registered for my conversion classes, they begin in three weeks!!!!! so indescribably stoked 🎉 🎉