James Patrick March - Tumblr Posts

all I need is a James March man in my life.

forever gonna provide jpm dose, i love my work

Your Tumblr username decides your profession. How is your first day at work?

when the jpm fandom so small that almost everyone who posts about him is my moot and we can fit in one house

Okay but imagine being Gen Z (90s through 2011 I think) im not sure) and dating James and he doesn't understand the lingo

-poor baby would be so frustrated

"Dearest?"

"What, James?"

"What is 'rizz?'

*Mrs Evers casually eavesdropping*

*you trying not to die laughing*

"James, where did you hear that?"

"From one of the new young people checking in. Is it a gift I have never heard of?"

James:

(I'm sorry, I'm how to write him. I just know we need more AHS fics)

Me when he's the "definition of American success."

James would make me feel so safe. He'd hold me for five seconds and all my worries would dissipate. He would tell me a story from some time before even my parents were born, and his smooth voice would lull me to sleep. Even if he'd kill me, I wouldn't stop trusting him. I'm not easy to charm, but when it happens, I will not let go. My man <3

"As for my clothing, my choice of decor." - JPM.

Obsessed with this man's fashion taste.

forced to live a plain life, born to dress elegantly, roam the halls of the Cortez as a vampire or a ghost, and to smoke with these bitches.

3am? James would prefer 2:25am ifykyk. ;)

𝓎𝑜𝓊'𝓇𝑒 𝓈𝑜 𝒶𝓇𝓉 𝒹𝑒𝒸𝑜.

james would have a stroke if he saw those edits of his pictures on pinterest where his pencil mustache was removed

(it feels so weird seeing evan in his james outfit without a mustache too 😭)

face death with dignity. we were born to die.

10 minutes into having dinner with James and he'd suddenly be trying to manipulate you into his evil shits by talking about your aura. (proven and tested by john lowe)

reality hurts

James kneeling in front of you carefully painting your toes the prettiest shade of red. Cooing that you should let him do it so you don't have to bend over or prop your leg up. it's easier and he's always happy to help you. He's so focused too, making sure none of it gets on your cuticles.

James Patrick March..

Me: I love horror movie slashers

My scary ass if I ever saw them:

Imagine using the Cortez wifi while you're staying there but it's being slow asf. You decided to reach out for a staff or the owner.

James confidently volunteers to speak with you about whatever your complain is. When you asked him about what's up with the Cortez wifi and why is it so slow, he started zoning out due to the question that involves modern technology so all he can do is just stand in front of you like this

Evan's characters who wore suits gotta be my favorite type of men

TO EVERYONE WHO SAW THAT UNFINISHED JAMES MARCH FIC THAT I POSTED, I NEVER INTENDED TO POST THAT YET.. I WAS SO SLEEPY THAT I PROBABLY DIDN'T NOTICE THAT I ACCIDENTALLY POSTED IT. 😭 (so embarrassing since it's an unfinished fic☹)

Suck my left tit, Clark Gable!

(she's so real for that)