Incorrect Merlin Quotes - Tumblr Posts
Morgana: I leave lasting impressions.
Arthur: That was a stab wound.
Merlin: Dinner is served.
Arthur: What on earth is that?
Merlin: Crow.
Arthur: Amazing, Merlin's been my manservant for three weeks, and I haven't fired him yet.
Merlin: Amazing, I've been Arthur's manservant for three weeks, and I haven't quit yet.
Merlin: Why have you been ignoring Gwen?
Arthur: I'm playing hard to get
Merlin: Right now, you're playing hard to want
Arthur: Do you ever wonder what life would be like if we'd never met?
Merlin: Yes.
Merlin: Every day.
Arthur: Hey, Merlin, what goes up but never comes down?
Merlin: The amount of stress you cause me.
Gwen: I'm surprised Arthur isn't married yet
Merlin: I'm not
Merlin: If I don't make it, tell Arthur it was all his fault.
Game night: Lancelot and Gwen versus Merlin and Arthur
Arthur: If we lose, I'm cutting you out of my will.
Merlin: I was in your will???
Arthur in modern times trying to get a job: Enigmatic...I think I'm going to put that on my resume.
Merlin: Good idea. You've got to have something on there.
Arthur: My new policy is that if you see something, say something.
Council member: I saw your manservant practicing magic.
Arthur: Shut up.
Arthur: My life has been going pretty smoothly lately.
Arthur: Too smoothly.
Arthur: ...
Arthur: Where's Merlin
Morgana: You tried to kill me and left me to die.
Merlin: I wouldn't have done it if I knew you were going to hassle me about it.
Merlin: Since when has babysitting Arthur been m-
Merlin: Oh my God, that is my job
*someone accuses merlin of murder*
Arthur: Merlin? You're saying that Merlin, the wimpiest man I've ever met, killed two people with a fork? I assumed that you'd think of a rational claim before unfairly accusing someone.
Merlin: *wiping blood off the fork* lol yeah what he said
Arthur: Raise your hand if Merlin was your gay awakening
Gwaine, Percival, Lancelot, Elyan, Leon, Morgana, a random servant eavesdropping nearby: *all raise their hands*
Arthur: MORGANA?? But you're a lesbian!
Morgana: And I knew something was up when I didn't want to pull him and his little neckerchief into a broom closet
Merlin, sleep deprived, flirting: Manure? More like manwhore-
Arthur: Merlin, you clotpole, shush
Merlin, smirking: Clotpole? More like cockpo-
Arthur: MERLIN!
Merlin: I’ve been dropping them the most insanely obvious hints for like a year now. No response.
Arthur: Wow. They sound stupid.
Merlin: But they’re not. They’re really smart actually. Just dense.
Arthur: Maybe you need to be more obvious? Like, I don’t know… 'Hey! I love you!'
Merlin: I guess you’re right. Hey Arthur, I love you.
Arthur: See! Just say that!
Merlin: Holy fucking shit.
Arthur: If that flies over their head then, sorry Merlin, but they're too dumb for you.
Merlin: Arthur.
*sees the guards marching past*
Gwen, who has done nothing wrong ever: They're coming for me.
Merlin, currently wanted for pickpocketing, aggravated assault, identity theft, mail fraud, aiding and abetting, and arson: Yeah, probably.
AU where Arthur comes back after 1,500 years and Merlin thinks Excalibur sword is very outdated at this point. It is 21st Century and unsurprisingly sword is not the best choice of weapons, magic or not.
So, Merlin creates him lots of new weapons, and soon discovers that Arthur masters everything fast and is ridiculously good at adapting everything to fight. Because if Merlin is the greatest Warlock to ever walk on earth, then Arthur is the greatest Warrior ever to exist.
So, at one point Merlin is just having SO MUCH FUN discovering Arthur’s very OP warrior skill because this man can make everything he holds a legendary weapon.
Modern Magic People being rescused: THE King Arthur is here to save us from the evil beast! look at his shining Exca..li..bur…?
Arthur, holding a ~magical and forged by Dragon’s flame~ airfryer: DO NOT DISRESPECT EXCALIBUR #2461