Incorrect Kpop Quotes - Tumblr Posts

Wendy: I’m semi excited about this new girl, but I’m gonna try to keep my expectations low this time

Irene: Yes, guard your heart-but not your vagina.

Random mugger: *points gun at Chenle* Give me your money!

Chenle: *holds up an uno reverse card* No, give me your money.

Mugger: Wtf

Chenle: *runs away*

*later to Doyoung*

Chenle: And that’s how I avoided getting mugged

Doyoung:

Doyoung: From the bottom of my heart, what the fuck, Chenle?

Nayeon: What’s your problem?

Mina: Off the top of my head, I’d say low self esteem, a lack of paternal affection, and a genetic predisposition for anxiety and depression.

Nayeon:

Nayeon: I just wanted to know why you left the milk out...

Johnny: So, I said to myself: Kyle-

Jaehyun: Wait, Kyle?

Johnny: Yeah, that’s just what I call myself.

Rosé: If you’re American and coming to Australia, I’m gonna go ahead and say that you should be 100% way more worried about being king hit by a dude named “Dane” in a bintang singlet than any fucking spiders that exist here.

Jisoo: What does this say in English?

Jennie: Good sir, if you are a resident of the United States of America and coming to visit the sunny land of Australia, allow me to inform you that you should rather be more concerned about being sucker punched by a gentleman named “Dane” who is likely to be seen wearing a wifebeater with a beer company logo on it than by any of the dangerous spiders that exist on this lovely continent.

Jisoo: Okay, so what does it say in American?

Jennie: You’re more likely to get sucker punched/cold-cocked by an asshole than you are to be bitten by a spider.

Lisa: Well, rattle my spoons, that don’t make a lick of sense. Wot in tarnation does this hootenanny say?

Jennie: If ya mosey on by Australia, you best be fixin’ to get some fisticuffs more'n checkin fer spiders.

Rosé: This is a Rosetta Stone for a single language.

Heechul: I have an idea.

Leeteuk: No murder.

Heechul: I no longer have an idea.

Lucas: I’m a firm believer in “if you’re going to fail, fail spectacularly.”

*at dinner*

Chanyeol: *to Baekhyun* What’s your favorite type of music?

Baekhyun: Your moan.

Chanyeol:

Baekhyun:

EXO:

SM:

The World:

Baekhyun: ( ͡~ ͜ʖ ͡°)

Kibum: Aren’t you sugar and spice and everything nice?

Taemin: Well, aren’t you rudeness and sarcasm and everything...uh...

Kibum: No, go on. You find something that rhymes with sarcasm and makes sense, and I’ll take the fall tonight.

“I’ve come to a point in my life where I need a stronger word than ‘fuck’”

-Irene, probably

Seungkwan: Hey, don’t change the subject!

Vernon: What’s the subject?

Seungkwan: Me.

Taeyong: If you bite it and you die, then it’s poisonous. If it bites you and you die, it’s venomous.

Mark: What if it bites me and it dies?

Doyoung: Then you’re poisonous, you idiot.

Lucas: What if it bites itself and it dies?

Taeyong: That’s voodoo.

Chenle: What if it bites me and someone else dies?

Taeil: That’s correlation, not causation.

Johnny: What if we bite each other and neither of us die?

Ten: That’s kinky ;)

Teacher: Kyuhyun said a swear word in class today.

Leeteuk: Okay, I’ll talk to him about it.

*later, at the dorm*

Leeteuk: What the fuck, Kyuhyun.

Joshua: Did you snap my laptop in half?

Woozi: What goes around comes around.

Joshua: Are you seriously still upset about that sandwich from last week?

Woozi: That was the best damn sandwich I’ve ever made.

Seungyeon: *finds a container with “DEAD DOVE DO NOT EAT” in the refrigerator*

Seungyeon: *opens it*

Seungyeon:

Seungyeon: I don’t know what I expected...

Yeeun: What goes up but never comes down?

Seunghee: The amount of stress you bring to this family.

“Okay, just because you are making me very sexually confused does not mean you are intimidating.”

-Probably Hwasa to Wheein

Donghae: If you put ‘uwu’ at the end of a sentence, it makes it cute and unharmful.

Eunhyuk: I love you uwu.

Yesung: I just got food uwu.

Kyuhyun: I’ll fucking murder you uwu.

Donghae: Please don’t do that uwu.

Kyuhyun: No promises uwu.

Winwin: I have done nothing wrong, ever, in my life.

Taeyong: I know this, and I love you.

Heechul: *to Leeteuk* Last Christmas I gave you my heart, but the very next day, you said that was gay.