Hyunjae Imagines - Tumblr Posts

my last love

💌 pairing: lee hyunjae x reader 💌 genre: oneshot, dad!au, fluff 💌 word count: 10.3k 💌 author's note: hyunjae being a dad just reminds me of the little kid from the d.d.d. dance thing because of how he cried after since he won’t be able to see jaehyun anymore. i found that so adorable and i searched him up a while ago on insta. he’s already so grown up. he looks like a young actor. anyway... i hope you enjoy my first oneshot! also name's gonna be hyunjae because i feel like we're more used to his stage name.

[ dating lee hyunjae was the best thing that ever happened to the both of you but when things don't work it, everything falls apart. what happens when years later, he shows up in your life again successful with his career, which is the main reason to your breakup, but still in love with you? ]

it's funny how the world works. god gives you the thing you've wished for most and then reminds you that he has full control of your life by taking it away for a split second. what hurts is that a second to god, seems like years to humans.

if anybody asks you what memory remains as the best time of your life, you'd answer your first love. lee hyunjae wasn't some boy you could start hating just because he broke up with you. lee hyunjae was your high school sweetheart. he held good standards at school, at home, and always did the best for you. so no, he wasn't some guy you hated after just a breakup. you hated him because he left you with the best gift in your life but never stayed to be a part of it. it was the summer before graduation. the both of you were supposed to go on a date because you had something to tell him. a surprise, one would say. but little did you know, he had something to share too. polar opposites, in fact. one could change your life for the better and the other would ruin it.

the first day of summer vacation. you could never forget that date. a picnic made for just the two of you as you sat down on the soft fabric and pulled out cute bento boxes you spent the night before making. you never saw it coming. not with the smile he had on his face when he was with you. not with all the flirty gestures he threw at you from habit. not with the way he stared at you as if you were the only thing he cared to see in the world.

he dumped you. at least that's the only way you saw it back then. he had a dream. a dream that was more important than whatever the two of you shared, which clearly did not mean much to him. at the time, you held grudges; why would he tell you that he loved you if he was going to break up with you? why did he kiss your cheek when he wanted to? why the hell did he plan the date?

it's been years now and that mentality of yours grew, allowing you to see this all in another light. you were young. you were naive. he was young. he was naive. and to be quite honest, both of you deserved to pursue your dreams and if that meant having to be with the right person at the wrong time, then so be it.

hold on. forgetting one important thing here, aren't we? what was your surprise that day? you had gone to your annual check up to the doctors. and they surprised you with a congratulations. you were pregnant. like any other young girl, you were terrified and you expected him to be the one to support you most.

either way, your parents and friends helped you out a lot.

you didn't mean to still be so in love but when you heard you were having a boy, the first name that popped in your head was seojun. back when hyunjae and you were joking around how cute kids were and if there were any in both your near future, you'd want to name him seojun. you ended up never thinking of a girl name because you got distracted with him dropping ice cream on his shirt. he was cute in that way.

hyunjae, on the other hand, came back from his abroad sessions and became successful. he took big responsibility within his company, something you wished he had done for you years back. the first year after the breakup was the hardest as he couldn't ever get you out of his head. although, at one point, he just got too busy to think about you. it was bound to happen. if his career meant as much as breaking up with you, he wanted to make the best out of it.

he knew nothing about you and you knew nothing of him. he was oblivious to the fact that he had a kid of his own in this world.

seojun was a handful, which was expected. he was a little boy, after all. so any type of romance was pretty much limited to little to none for you. you hear from a lot of people how it would be healthier for seojun to grow up with a father figure by his side but it was hard to do that when not anyone could make your heart flutter. a year after your breakup, you met younghoon. he was someone who never questioned anything in your life which is why it was easier to open up to him first. he's been there with you since day one of your motherhood.

today was one of those days off to hang out with your friends. you usually let yourself have a day in a month nowadays. the first two years with seojun, you never took a break with your job and taking care of him but after seeing you so overworked, your parents adjusted their work schedule and decided to let you have few days off while they took care of seojun. kevin was supposed to come first because he had something to buy and wanted to buy it before all of you plan to go somewhere else. then, the two other boys would join the both of you.

after hyunjae moved to the states, you met all your friends at an art gallery through a tour. you were in pain from all the walking and younghoon noticed, stopping his friends to come talk to you. you sat there for so long that eventually all of you lost the tour guide. you felt so bad so you offered them a drink at a nearby cafe, in which they accepted.

"y/n!" you hear the familiar voice and turn around to see a figure behind your glass plated door. you chuckled to see kevin knowing at the door frantically.

"i'm coming!!," you ran over to the door, leaving behind the tea you were making. as soon as the door opened, kevin made himself comfortable. "hello to you too." you chuckle at him sitting down on the couch.

"you're not even dressed?" kevin's sarcastic words made you scoff. "thanks. i had to take seojun to my parents' house." he chuckled at your retorted voice before helping you clean the kitchen. a few minutes later, you went to go get proper clothes to go outside before heading out to the car with kevin. he helped you coordinate your outfit. and the fact that you were a fashion designer too? yeah, kevin didn't care. he'd help you in any way he could. he was very much appreciated.

"i think it looks cute.." he mumbles, complimenting his own work. afterwards, you both get into your car, driving off to the mall which was the meeting place you all set. once you arrive, you see younghoon sitting on the bench by olive young (sephora basically).

"hey y/n!" you wave your hand as he gives you a hug. "can you take y/n to the baby store again? i gotta go pee." kevin cuts in between. younghoon chuckles with a nod before kevin goes running off to the bathrooms.

as soon as you enter the store, you received a few concerning looks which you've grown to get used to. it happened a lot in korea since it wasn't very common to give birth so early. when younghoon sees you grabbing at your sleeve, he takes off his jacket. he's known you long enough to know that when you did that, you weren't cold. you were trying to cover yourself no matter the little amount of skin you were showing. he placed the jacket around you, causing you to look up at him. "you okay?" you nod your head, grabbing a few bibs and new bottles. you wanted to get out of there as soon as possible so you quickly rushed to the cashier. everyone besides you knew you spoiled seojun because you were trying make up for the missing father.

once younghoon noticed how you were trying to rush out of there without explaining anything, he held your hand. "y/n.. i know you're not okay. may i remind you i've been there for you when you gave birth and then you came to me crying because you forgot you still had periods after giving birth? now going down the aisle to buy those tampons.. that was embarrassing." you chuckle at his attempt to cheer you up, which it did, and quickly paid for your stuff before following him out the store.

"i'm okay, hoon. and thank you for that day, although you did text me if the sizes meant how much i weighed."

"hey! in my defense, how was i supposed to know?" you both chuckled at the memory before seeing kevin and chanhee talking to one another by the bench from before.

"y/n! how's seojun?" you smiled at the child lover in front of you. "good to see you too.. seojun's doing great. he's really picking up a lot of words. not to brag or anything, but i think my kid's a genius." they all chuckled at your motherly pride coming out.

"okay so about today's plans. i was thinking the festival. it's open for a few more weeks but it's been a few days now so it shouldn't be too crowded." chanhee offers, being the group's social one. but before you could answer, you felt your phone ring. you excuse yourself to pick up the call only to have your mom telling you that seojun wouldn't stop crying and wanted to see you. you end the phone, walking back, only to tell them mother business calls. they all understood but felt too bad to discuss today's plans in front of you.

"hey i'll be fine. maybe i can make it later but we'll probably be in different places by then. i heard jacob and sangyeon's coming too, right?" younghoon nodded his head before looking at you with a worried face. "i promise i'll be fine. go have fun. just someone take kevin cause i was his ride here."

"can't stop a mother from wanting to be with her son. have fun." you smiled at kevin's words and nodded.

chanhee ushered all of you to move along out to the parking lot. you separated with them and drove over to your parents' house. knocking on the door, you smiled as you had the toy you bought for seojun.

"mommy!" you hear as soon as the door opens. "hi baby! how was hanging out with grandpa and grandma?" you said, eyes shimmering in joy.

"grandpa and i were watching tv and he had his mom with him but i didn't. so i cried.." you chuckled at his dried tear stain on his cheeks. "well mommy's here now so everything's better, right?," he nodded his head, wrapping his arms around your neck. "you're such a big boy, hmm? you stopped crying all by yourself? good job.." you complimented him as he nodded before whispering "and grandma gave me cookies.." you looked up at your mom, who was brave enough to give a three year old cookies.

"really, mom?"

"what? he seemed hungry."

"and you chose cookies out of all things?"

"okay. well, at least, i brushed his teeth after." she said, making you smile at her. you picked up seojun in your arms and kissed his cheek. "i'm taking him to the festival today."

"i'm sorry. you were on break today.." your mom apologizes but what kind of mistake is getting to hang out with your little man instead. you tickled seojun, which caused him to let out a very familiar laugh. he's got hyunjae's laugh. that awkward, cute laugh. you didn't hate it though. it felt nice to see hyunjae in him sometimes. it hurt from time to time but you felt happy that you had a mini version of him in your life.

there were certain nights you thought of how things could have been different. if hyunjae hadn't been nice enough to let you go instead of making you wait the years he studied abroad. if you had delivered the news before he did his. if hyunjae and you had just figured things out. seojun reminded you of all the nostalgic memories the two of you shared. it really wasn't fair. how amazing it felt when he was born but how painful it felt without hyunjae.

lots of people say everyone remembers and should remember three loves in your love. your first love that gives you puppy like flutters doesn't last. your second love that brings pain in different types of forms yet feels most committed and passionate. your last love that'll seem like it lasts forever and does. but in your case, where did hyunjae even fit? first love? of course. the one that brings pain? yeah.. and did it feel like your last love, one that you wanted to never end? honestly, yes.

once you reached the festival, you made sure you had some snacks and juice for seojun in your bag. as soon as you entered, seojun's eyes spots the bounce house. luckily, there was one with a smaller kid capacity so there was a lower chance of him getting hurt. you got him a turn before getting a call from younghoon. you answered, not breaking your attention on seojun. he'd asked if you made it to the festival and you told him that you had with seojun. you loved seeing that he could have fun by himself so much that you didn't hear younghoon talking about some other friends with him. "hello? earth to y/n?" you chuckle as he tells you where he is. "i'll be there in a few minutes." "no. wait. did you hear what i sai-" you end the call because you saw seojun climbing out of the bounce house.

"was it fun?," you ask, seeing him smile. "good.. how about seeing younghoon?" you offered. seojun had taken a liking on younghoon since he was one of the few men around in his life. he nods his head so you pick him up and walk towards wherever younghoon instructed to go. when you came across a corn dog station, seojun tugged at you. "can i get one of those?" you sighed, knowing he could at least eat the sausage but you didn't want him to love it or else that's all he'll want. but it was a festival. what the heck? why not? you walked over to the station and asked for just sausage in a plate. it didn't take long, fortunately, so you walked with seojun still in your arms, trying to pick at it to be bite-sized.

"yo y/n!" you hear kevin's voice so you turn around to see a few guys. you walk over and place seojun onto the ground, staring down at him as he held your hand. as soon as arrive, you give seojun the sausage. "okay don't eat and walk at the same time, remember. make sure you chew each bite instead of shoving them all.. got it?" he nods his head before taking the plate with your ripped piece. when you look up, your eyes connect with someone who you haven't seen in years.

"oh my god." you blurt out. "what? are you okay?" younghoon says, worried. he walks over, taking off his jacket and covers you. "no.. it's not that," you awkwardly laugh before looking up at the person in front of you. "so umm.. who are these guys?"

"oh. so that's changmin. chanhee knows him so he got his friends to come over. you already know sangyeon and jacob. then that's ju haknyeon, lee juyeon, kim sunwoo, sohn eric, and lee hyunjae." you smile at each one of them as they gave you a small wave until you spotted the boy directly the one closest to you again.

"anyway. they just called our number. we're up next for the maze. you wanna come with us, y/n?" you shook your head as sangyeon asks. you don't know exactly how they got jacob to go but you chuckled when he held hands with chanhee, only to get a smack on his shoulder.

"i wanna go try this one but hyunjae here, ate something weird before so he wanted to sit this one out. he'll watch over you, okay?" you could do nothing but nod as your best friend disappears into the line. you look to the side to see seojun still eating his food. you take his hand and lead him to sit on the little wall hyunjae was sitting on.

"y/n?," your shoulders tensed at the voice. "c-can we talk?"

"i think you're talking right now." you didn't mean to be so spiteful but this was just so sudden. all those days lying in bed, imagining all the scenarios of bumping into him one day, gone to waste. you were so speechless, only mean remarks came to mind.

"it's been a while.. hasn't it?" you couldn't help but let out a sarcastic laugh. "mhmm.." you grabbed a juice from your bag, handing it to seojun. the silence was suffocating you until one of the people in the toy station came walking. "here.. for the little boy." he says, handing a cool toy to seojun. you smile at his eyes glistening but glancing over to you for permission. you softly nod. "say thank you, seojun." you say as seojun stands up and bows. "what a polite child. seems like you guys are doing a good job." you chuckled awkwardly to see hyunjae frozen in his spot. he didn't mean to bombard you with questions but he had too many thoughts running through his mind right now.

you never would have thought, out of all places, you would meet again at a time and place like this. you watch as he observes seojun.

"is he.. yours?", hyunjae spoke, looking over to seojun, who wasn't even paying attention to you. seeing him peacefully playing with the toy, you look back towards hyunjae. you nodded your head, causing hyunjae to exhale a soft sigh. "are you married now?"

"no." how could you be?

"so." you both say in unison, causing you to blush.

"oh.. you go."

"no.. ladies first."

"what a gentleman..," you said, trying not to sound so snarky. "i guess.. how's everything? your life? your... career?" you were curious and who could blame you? after leaving your heart broken with no other reason than 'i just don't want to make you wait', you couldn't help but question everything you did.

"well, i opened up a company. i got back a year ago and settled in seoul," you nodded your head, trying to ignore the awkwardness. "how about you?"

"i started fashi-"

"mommy.. i'm cold." you looked over to hyunjae before sighing.

"sorry.. hold on," you grabbed his jacket and helped him put it on. "are you warmer now?" seojun takes your hand in his and flashes you a smile. "thank you, mommy."

"he's mine....", hyunjae stopped himself for a second, seeing seojun laughing. "isn't he?," he questioned. you didn't know whether he calculated the estimated age to when you two were dating or he just saw certain features of himself in seojun, but you knew he was well capable of both. you ran your hands through seojun's hair and sighed, slowly nodding your head. "and you didn't tell me this because?"

"we broke up the day i was going to tell you." hyunjae was more than guilty from your words, biting his lip.

"i'm sorry, y/n. i never meant for this to happen. i swear if i knew.. i would have been there for you. why didn't you text me? i didn't block you or anything. in fact, i assumed you would have at least call me and cuss me out or something. but after that night, you didn't call or text me. i didn't know what to do. i just-"

"hyunjae," he looked at your soft smile. "i'm okay.. no. i don't have a boyfriend. and no. i haven't been dating. but i'm happy.. i'm more than happy just to raise my son. or.. i guess. our son." you stopped your words as you see seojun walk over to hyunjae.

"daddy?" you had no idea how to respond to that. you didn't want to lie but you also couldn't tell him yes. you didn't even know hyunjae's lifestyle and how busy he would be.

"yes. i am your daddy. i'm sorry i missed your first few years of life.. you've grown up well," hyunjae says, bending down to seojun's height. "you said your name was seojun.. right?"

"yeah.. seojun." hyunjae looks up at you with a teasing smile as you scoffed at his behavior. "i had to. it was a cute name. and it stuck to me," you were surprised he still remembered. you see the other guys laughing and on their way back. "hyunjae.. can you talk any other day?" he nodded his head but before you could say anything else, younghoon's picking up seojun.

"what's up, little man?" he says as seojun giggles. you didn't miss the look on hyunjae's face as his eyebrows furrowed.

"how was the maze?," you asked as the boys all talk over themselves about how fun it was. "well i got absolutely nothing from that.. but i'm glad you had fun." they chuckled as they started to take small turns introducing themselves to seojun. you were worried he might not be able to remember so many names but it was worth a try.

"hey, how about we trade phone numbers?" eric offers. "all of us? that's too many. why don't we just have chanhee do it? he knows all of us here anyway. right, bestie?" changmin says, annoying chanhee with his sweet voice. "mhmm.. sure. why not?," he says rolling his eyes but ends up pulling out his phone anyway. all of our phones let out notification sounds. "you're welcome."

you feel seojun tug at your jeans. "i'm sleepy.."

"do you need a ride?" younghoon offers. "no, i drove here. does anyone else need a ride back though? he's probably going to sleep in the car anyway so i can drive a few of you around since i smell alcohol." you said emphasizing the word while looking at sangyeon.

"changmin and i are sober. so who are we gonna split with? if we don't fit all of us then, we'll have y/n take the others." jacob says as you nod your head, waiting for all of them to decide. you picked up seojun and patted his back, hoping he falls asleep. "okay we can't fit two people."

"i can take hoon and someone else home."

"what about hyunjae? he lives near us." younghoon says as you eye hyunjae. it was funny how much you trusted younghoon but never got to tell him exactly who seojun's father was.

"sure. why not? i'll take these two back then. goodnight, everyone." you say cheerfully but in a whisper as seojun has managed to fall asleep.

the drive back home wasn't as awkward as you'd expected since seojun sleeping made an excuse for the silence. younghoon looked after seojun in the back as hyunjae sat next to you in the passenger seat. "drop me off first cause i'm closer." you nod as you stop in front of younghoon's house. he walks over to your side and gives you a small kiss on the forehead. "goodnight, y/n.." you watch him enter his house before driving off again.

"so where do you live?" hyunjae gives you a number only to realize he was only two blocks away. all of you lived in the same community and you never noticed?

"you can come over at 6 during the evening tomorrow if that's a good time for you and we can talk," you watch as hyunjae looks at the back seat of your car. "i'm sorry.. for everything." you chuckle with a nod.

"i'll see you next time, hyunjae.."

——————————

when seojun woke up the next day, you heard him crying. you assumed it would be one of his morning bawls but once you see him sitting up in his bed, using his blanket as a tissue, you ran to him. "hey baby.. what's wrong?," you waited until he calmed down and placed him on your lap. "hmm?"

"why did daddy leave? why is he back now?" you choked from his question. never.. not even once had seojun ever asked you about his father. he just always grew up without knowing much of the meaning of a father. but, you had a father and so did many of seojun's fellow classmates. it was inevitable for him to eventually learn the word.

"baby.. h-he was very busy... with work. but he loves you.. very much. and i know he would have wanted to spend a lot of time with you," you sighed, watching as he pulled at your clothes. "how about this? you can hang out with him next time." seojun nods his head frantically at your idea and smiles with cute dimples above his lips, his left side, a little deeper. even that was from hyunjae's genes.

you hear the bell ring as soon as seojun is dressed. your mother is at the door and you let her enter with seojun in your arm.

"hey. how was the festival?", your mom asks you but as soon as she sees your blanked out face, she knew something is wrong. "sweetie.. can you take seojun upstairs?" you see your father parking his car in the garage and heads upstairs with seojun in his arms.

"i saw him.."

"who?"

"hyunjae." your mother gasps, gathering her hands in front of her mouth, shocked. you nodded, still trying to believe it yourself.

"well how was he? are you okay?" she walked you to the couch, where you both sat down.

"he was in good condition. he looked happier and brighter," you looked down at your hands, remembering the way he smiled when he heard seojun's name. "and he knows seojun is his." your mother calmly pats your back as she observes your expression. as a mother herself, she knew how her own daughter would feel. but to her surprise, you didn't seem hurt. you seemed rather relieved.

"what did you say?"

"he told me to meet him at 6 tonight to talk things out. i don't know what's going to happen but we'll see," your mother was more in shock than you were and that made you giggle. "i'm alright, mom." your reassurance made your mother nod and smile.

"you're gonna be just fine. i trust that you will do what's best for seojun and for you. but whatever happens, you know i'm always here for you." you nodded your head at her words and hugged her. "thanks mom.." you let out, a small tear rising up. "anything for you."

later on, that evening, you dressed up to go over like hyunjae had asked you to. you decided to just walk there since it wasn't too far. you were surprised when you got out of the car. the buildings were humongous and they were luxurious as well. you didn't really get to look around yesterday since you were a little out of it.

the door was opened by someone else when you knocked. "chanhee?," you were greeted by other people around hyunjae. "um hello? am i interrupting something?"

"guys. this is the y/n."

"hyunjae. they already know me. i uh- thought we'd be. alone?"

"look y/n. i'm sorry. they came barging in and..," you looked over at the six boys and back to hyunjae. "they know.."

"know what?" all of them look over to you with pitiful eyes and you knew what he was talking about. hyunjae walks over to you and holds your hand. "they already knew the whole thing. just not that it was with you."

"is that why you introduced me as "the y/n"?," he nodded his head before all of them walked over to the other room. "so.."

"there's a room to your right. it's the living room cause i didn't know if you'd be comfortable in a uh... in a bedroom." you nodded your head as you followed him. you didn't have time or the focus to pay attention yesterday but he got taller. and more toned. settling down, he offers you a drink from the counter so you smile, nodding your head before you both sit down across from each other. it was quite obvious to you how hyunjae was nervous. you were too but you were just better at hiding it.

"hyunjae. i'm okay. if you're worried about that. if you want, i can start and-"

"no. i have some things that i've prepared to say. things that i've been meaning to say to you before you changed your number and uh.. i'm afraid i'll miss my chance if i don't say it now." you nodded your head, completely understanding him. from the looks of that, he hasn't changed much and you felt happy about it. maybe it really was because you matured but now, you don't have this tingly feeling anymore like you did back in high school. back then, everything he did made you flutter.

"alright.."

"i want to apologize for that day. i think it's okay for me to say this now and i don't know if it'll change anything as of right now. but that day.. i didn't break up with you because i fell out of love with you. i did it because i knew how long it'd take to study abroad. we were gonna have different time zones and once they give me a higher position, i wouldn't be able to visit korea every now and then. i know this seems like an excuse but i swear. i didn't mean to hurt you. i had at least hoped you would stay in contact with me, whether to tell me i was a jerk or to say that you still loved me and you were hurt or maybe even about you moving on. i know it was selfish to think i could have both. i'm sorry about that... but i'm glad we somehow managed to see each other again cause i've been thinking about you. especially these days. i know it may seem like i left and forgot about you. trust me. i wanted to tell myself that you'd be happier and better off without me but it only made myself regret the way i handled things even more. by the time i decided to check up on you, i had no way to contact you. i just want you to know that i did try to fix things. i know it's sudden and you might have already moved on but.. i still love you. is there any way i could be a part of your life again? whether or not we date, that's something different. but.." you took in all of his emotion filled statements and smiled, the more he explained things. you felt relieved for his comforting reasons for everything and looked up at him once he finished.

"hyunjae.. i want you to know that i never resented you after you left. yeah, i locked myself in my room for a day. but I had seojun so i did the best for the both of us to raise him in my womb. i know you.. enough to know that you probably blamed yourself for everything. and me moving and changing phone numbers wasn't because of you. i changed companies so i had to change my address and number. and hyunjae.. i never wanted you to think that any of this was your fault. i'm happy right now and you're right. i don't know if we can get back together but seojun seemed to like you. if you really mean it, we can hang out a few times. for seojun, of course. we'll see where it goes from there but i can't guarantee you that we'll be the way we used to be." you did your best to describe things in the nicest way possible. even though you still had feelings for him, it just wasn't the same anymore.

"yeah. for sure. we can schedule something. i'll make some time. whenever you want.. i just want to make it up to you. i'm happy with the way i am now, with the guys. but i don't know if it was worth leaving you." you both sigh at the same time, causing you to laugh.

"i'm happy that you're happy. but we'll take it slow. i think that's better for all of us. i'm only doing this for seojun right now so just don't have high hopes."

"i understand.."

——————————

as soon as you reached your house, you started thinking about how everything went and realized you barely took the time to greet the other boys. you hated that you didn't notice how rude you came off as. but when you see seojun, you see the face of your ex-lover, the father of your child. after everything that you have gone through, you'd be more than happy to include him back in your- seojun's life, it still was a lot to take in.

"so.. did everything go okay?" you heard your mother by the kitchen waiting with two glasses of wine. you walked over with a smile as she slowly slid one to you. "where's dad?" she glares at you for not seeing the effort she put in to comfort you and offers the drink with a push. "your father can handle seojun for tonight. i think we can fill him in later." you sigh as you start to explain what went down the past hour at hyunjae's house.

once you were finished, your mom blinks, a little startled. "well i'm glad you were able to talk things out." you nodded your head because she was right.

"well that was fast. i got him right to sleep this time.", you hear your dad walking down the stairs with a satisfied grin on his face. "hey kiddo.. how'd it go?"

"for the first time in four years, i just had the most honest conversation. he knows about seojun and wants to be a part of his life." you carefully watched your dad's reaction as he could be harder to grasp the situation than your mom since he was more sensitive to whoever hurts you.

"i'm glad he's taking responsibility to be a part of seojun's life. but are you sure you want him back in your life? whether you like it or not, he's going to just barge back in. there's no other choice. he has half the right for seojun." you hated that he was right. you were unsure with all this. "i think i can let you figure that out on your own. i'm sure you're just as confused.. we'll be here for you. we love seojun with all our hearts and i trust that you'll make the right decision for yourself. either way, whatever you choose, we'll support you all the way." you broke into a smile at your father's comforting words, a little similar to your mother's. but what mattered was they both loved you and have supported you all throughout this bump in the road.

"aw, dad.."

"just looking out for you, buddy.." he pulls you into a hug before you look over to your mom. "go check seojun. we let him take your room so just sleep there with him." you walk up the stairs, to the room. opening the door, you see your son quietly and peacefully sleeping. you were lucky to have a kid like him. maybe it was best for seojun to formally meet his father. the only thing that worried you was hyunjae not being able to be there constantly when he was needed. he didn't have the best record for staying.

——————————

spending your sunday at a water park with seojun seemed like the best way to end your vacation. you made sure to pack everything you needed. but before you could call for seojun, your phone rings.

"i heard you saw him yesterday. why didn't you tell me it was hyunjae?" you could hear a worried, kind of panicking voice. "well.. i didn't know you knew him. it's not like i can bring it up in a conversation. oh hey, by the way the secret baby daddy's name is hyunjae. thought you'd want to know."

"well there's no need to be sarcastic.." you chuckled at his pouty voice. "how did you even know? wait.. let me guess. my mom?", the silence on the other end was loud enough. "good to know my own mother can't keep her mouth shut." younghoon's chuckle fills the speaker before a sigh. "why don't you try asking him to hang out with seojun today?"

"i'm going to the water park today." you swear you heard a squeal of a high school girl. "even better! don't call me today and make sure you stay safe but most of all, have fun!" you look for hyunjae's contact name and come across his nickname "jae". you heard the call ring two times before it's picked up. "hello?" you cleared your throat. "um hey.. it's y/n. are you busy today?"

"no. why? is something up?" your throat had gone dry. "i was just wondering if you'd like to hang out.. with seojun. if you really meant spending time with him." some rustling noises were heard on the other end before pants. "i'll be ready in ten minutes." you chuckle at his response. "okay.. i'll see you soon then." after the call ended, you headed up the stairs to see seojun dressed.

"seojun.. how would you like to see your daddy today, hmm?", almost immediately, seojun nods his head, which was a relief on your end. "alright.. good. i think you'll see him soon."

"he's here!" seojun says, hearing the doorbell ring. you watch seojun hugging hyunjae's leg. you couldn't help but break into a big smile before clearing your throat.

"yes! here i am." hyunjae says and picks up seojun. although the sight of them was everything you'd ever dreamed of, you were still worried of all that would happen.

all of you leave the house and to your car and you couldn't help but space out. "do you want me to drive? if that's fine with you.." hyunjae offers as you buckle seojun's seat belt. taking out the car key from your pocket, you hand it to him. "sure. why not?"

once all of you were on the road, he clears his throat, a bit nervous. "you don't know how happy i was when you called me today.." you nodded your head, not knowing how to respond. "i don't really know what's going to happen to the both of us from now on and we do still need to figure things out... but i do want you to know that i think it's a great idea you want to be here for seojun. and you know.. about what you said yesterday.. i never stopped loving you either. what you did still hurt and i went through a lot, especially with raising seojun on my own. i hope you understand that it won't be the same anymore. at least not for a while." hyunjae nodded at your words, taking in every sentence seriously. "i know, y/n. i don't expect you to just come running back to me. i know what i did back then, was childish and stupid. but I'm here now, to make it up to you. so take your time and think about things. i'm not gonna be pushing you or anything."

after a while of seojun calling out different colors outside the window, you reached the park. taking out your wallet, hyunjae stops you. "no. i'll pay." you watch as he takes his wallet out as well. "i invited you-"

"y/n. i think i owe you more than three tickets to a water park. please just let me." hyunjae's stare was intimidating enough for you to shove your wallet back in your bag. as he finished paying, you sat down seojun at a bench and got him ready with sunscreen.

"thanks.." you said as hyunjae catches up to you and seojun with the tickets. he nodded his head with a smile. seojun reached for hyunjae's hand, making hyunjae blush. this was hyunjae's and seojun's first memory of them together. it felt weird but you were happy.

"mommy and daddy are finally together. do you love each other?" seojun's question made the two of you look at each other. where did he even learn those words? you chuckled awkwardly. "hmm?"

"mommy always says she loves me. do you love me?" he asks, looking at hyunjae. "of course I love you.."

"and do you love mommy?" you couldn't help but expect an answer even though you'd much rather have a mature conversation between the two of you than your son asking all the questions for you. yeah, you heard the words last night but it felt.. different. "yeah. i do love your mom, seojun." you eyed hyunjae with wide eyes before you cleared your throat.

"what about you, mommy?"

"what about me?"

"do you love daddy?" you chuckled as he looked up to you with sparkly eyes. you changed your view up towards hyunjae and you could see he was doing the same. anticipating your answer.

"yes, baby.. i do.", you saw the way hyunjae's eyes lit up and to your surprise, you felt your heart tingle. it's been a while since it's felt like that. "and we both love you.." you heard a giggle in return before reaching the water slides.

hyunjae was always good with kids. you remember him playing with his younger cousins and their friends at the park. so that's why when he had easily bonded with seojun and the other kids, it was no surprise to you. no later than thirty minutes, he had kids asking seojun to play together and go on the slide with him. you were happy, seeing seojun enjoying the water park.

"mommy! look at me! daddy's carrying me!" you hear and see seojun on hyunjae's shoulders, getting a little worried.

"yeah, that's right.. is it fun?" you asked and waved to seojun. he nodded and wrapped his arms around hyunjae's neck cutely. you smiled at the cute scene in front of you. you walk closer to them to take a photo of seojun but when you see a kid bump into hyunjae, you grab onto him. you didn't want him to lose his balance from it and unconsciously wrapped your arm around him. with an awkward laugh, he carefully placed seojun down. while he runs off to play again, you couldn't get your eyes off hyunjae. you couldn't help it. there was a reason you fell in love with him.

"what?" you looked away, startled from his question. "it's just... can i ask something?", you watch him nod curiously. "why'd you leave that night without actually telling me everything? you know I would have understood. i just feel like you could have explained it to me instead of just leaving me." now that he knows what had been bothering you, hyunjae pulls you into a hug. it's the first time he's touched you since the day you broke up.

"i'm sorry.." he whispered as you placed your hands on his chest. you turned to your side and see seojun. he was still having fun, splashing around with his new friends. you pulled away from hyunjae, realizing you were in public.

"thanks for coming today. really.. i think it means a lot to seojun."

"you know.. you keep saying me all this is good for seojun. what about you? cause if this isn't okay for you, i'm not gonna push it." hyunjae looked at you with worried eyes. he wanted everything to be good with you. he couldn't afford to make another mistake with you. not after seeing you at the carnival and falling in love with you all over again.

"i'm okay with it.. i guess i just need some time to figure things out."

——————————

"mommy.. when can i see daddy again?" seojun's question caught you off guard as you emailed a client.

"would you like to see him again?" he nodded his head so you took out your phone and pressed the facetime button, handing the phone to seojun, causing him to giggle with the phone ringing. you pulled out your computer, glad it was connected to your phone and messaged younghoon about meeting up later today.

you got up from your seat and walked upstairs to see hyunjae smiling on the screen of your phone as seojun's legs swing in happiness. noticing you there, seojun waves his hand.

"mommy.. he said i can come over and play with his friends today.."

"is that so?"

"only if that's okay with you.." you look at hyunjae and smile.

you saw just in time as younghoon responded that he was free so you smile at seojun. "well i'm leaving soon, so i can drop him off on the way." you see the two boys nod in front of you so you chuckle.

"okay okay.. i'll be there in an hour and a half or so. is that fine?"

"yeah. that's fine."

just as you said, you set out an hour later and knocked on the door. "hey y/n. it's nice to see you." eric says, seeing you walk in.

"we've met before, haven't we?", haknyeon says in a teasing tone, instantly walking over towards seojun who was still holding your hand. "can I?" you nod at his pleading eyes before he picks seojun up. he starts to make funny faces, causing seojun to laugh.

"well they will play with seojun while i can get you something to drink? if you're able to stay a bit." changmin offers and you smile, nodding your head.

"that'd be great.." you watch seojun go with hyunjae upstairs before eric takes your hand towards the main room. changmin takes a cup from the cupboard and pours in some tea. "so are you going on a date?"

"i'm sorry?"

"unless you just always dress like that, you have dressed to impress." sunwoo asks you and you smile at the compliment.

"i'm just meeting up with a friend.."

"must be some special friend." juyeon pipes up, lowkey checking you out. "umm. can we not mention any of this to hyunjae? the guy really is just a friend and i don't want him getting the idea that i'm looking to date." they all nod as you sipped your drink awkwardly.

"so uh.. i hope you don't mind me asking but. why don't you date?", you frown at eric"s question. "i know you're busy being a mom but. you know.. hyunjae hasn't been a part of your life for four years now. it's weird to think a pretty girl like you doesn't catch any guys.."

"no, it's alright. umm.. hyunjae did leave but there was always just a part of me that liked the idea of just me and seojun. you'll know once you have a kid but. when you become a parent, you start to view the world differently. it just felt like i didn't need a man to take care of seojun."

"that makes sense.. i guess moms have some kind of power when it comes to their kids." changmin's word made you smile.

"i'm happy for you." sunwoo says, sweetly. all of them knew so much about you. you just assumed hyunjae had talked about you but it felt strangely nice. having someone other than your friends care for you in a fond way.

"it's great that you're independent but i want you to have a proper family one day. someone who makes seojun happy. someone who makes you happy." haknyeon says. you blush, seeing all of them so thoughtful and kind.

"thank you guys.. i mean it.", when you feel your phone chime, you knew you had to go soon. "oh. i guess i have to go but we can talk soon."

when you reach the cafe, you see younghoon with both your orders. you thank him with a small gesture and clear your throat. "so what has been bothering you?" you already knew what younghoon was asking.

"i don't really know how to react to hyunjae appearing like this. i mean. of course i'm happy that seojun gets to meet his dad but you know.. he's been missing out on all his life and you were there when he broke up with me. it's really hard to just ignore how much i suffered back then to let him back in our lives. i want to. for seojun. you know how i've been trying to work out my love life these past few months and now, he just shows up like this. what should i do?" younghoon listened to you carefully and held your hand, sighing.

"i think that.. you need to understand how you feel. no matter the circumstances, i think your feelings matter most. like do you still love him?" you almost choked on your boba, hearing that word.

"i mean. of course i do. maybe not in the same way as before but i still love him. it's not like i can just forget him. well.. it's not how it used to be and-"

"y/n.. this is what you should figure out first. seojun's going to know sooner or later once he grows up and i don't think he wants a mom who can't sort out her own feelings. if you want to start another romance with some other guy, go for that. but if you want to work things out with hyunjae and try to see how everything would lay out, then do that. but you can't just keep using seojun as an excuse for your decisions. he's not some wall you can hide behind." you hated that younghoon was right. he always was. you owed it to him to finally figure this whole situation out. you were always on the receiving end of advice and although to younghoon, you've had plenty of times you'd repay that back but it felt to you that the deserved more than what you could ever offer him as a best friend.

"thanks hoonie.. you really are the best to talk about things. i'll let you know about how it goes. now go get back to work. i know you're on break right now so. i'll see you around." younghoon nodded, pulling you into a hug.

"you deserve the best, y/n.. i mean it." you pat his back, chuckling before you both parted ways. you waited in the cafe, watching others go on with their lives as you think about how hyunjae could stay in your life. you've fallen for him before. you could again.

when the door opens again, you fiddle with your fingers. "how are they?"

"they're having a party up there. go see for yourself." you giggled at the thought of the two boys acting like kids. you knocked on their door to reveal seojun dancing to a song played on the speaker. you watched until he noticed you standing by the door, admiring how cute your son looked.

"mommy!", seojun cheers, as soon as he sees you, and runs over, giving you a big hug. "can daddy stay over tonight?!"

"what?" you were confused as to where he got that idea.

"i want to stay with daddy more." you smiled as hyunjae bent down to his height, holding his shoulders.

"hyunjae.."

"why don't mommy and i talk about it first? you can stay here with eric hyung to keep learning the dance. alright?" he nodded his head, agreeing as the both of you stepped out for a second.

"hyunjae. i want this to work. trust me. i do. more than anything but it's still too much too fast. seojun sleeps with me. i have a guest room but it's not like seojun's gonna let you sleep out on your own-"

"okay first of all.. calm down. i'm only asking for a night. not a lifetime. if you're worried, both of you can stay here. i'll have the other guys sleep here too and we can make a big sleepover. maybe even a movie night.", hyunjae waits for your answer. "come on.. i want to spend time with seojun. i owe it to him. to you.. please.." you felt bad about hyunjae feeling like this so you eventually nodded. you really did want the most for seojun. seeing your approval, hyunjae grinned and opened the door to notify seojun. one thing led to another and you were driving back home to get some clothes and things for you and seojun. hoping you weren't too much of a bother, you decided to cook them dinner.

"woah! this is great, y/n.. i didn't know you could cook too." juyeon said, surprised to see your cooking skills. you blushed at the comment as haknyeon nods in approval as well. "yeah. she's always been good at that." hyunjae's sentence made you blink as all the other boys cleared their throats, feeling like they’re interrupting something.

after cleaning up the kitchen, you walked up to hyunjae's room to set up some of seojun's stuff. on your way out, you bump into sunwoo. "oh hey. you're already finished?"

"it was really good, i wanted to stuff myself with it if i hadn't had such a big lunch today." you chuckled, seeing him exaggerate his body expressions.

"that's good to hear."

as you gather your own belongings, sunwoo speaks. "you know... what you do for seojun. i think it's amazing. i see how it is to be a mother and it's really not easy." your cheeks felt warm from the compliment. "you actually don't know how much that means to me.. thanks."

for the rest of that night, the boys respected your space and let you do your thing.

——————————

"cooking again? i feel like i'm in heaven.." juyeon says at the smell of the kitchen. you were the only one who knew what to feed seojun anyway so you decided to just cook them breakfast. it wasn't like they wanted to be dragged into this mess either and despite knowing you for only a few weeks, they were sweet and kind.

"i gotta cook for a living. i have a kid, you know.." you quickly got the stuff ready and started cooking as haknyeon helped you. or didn't? you swore you had a few more pieces of the meat. but your thoughts were dismissed when you hear a few mumbles from a tired looking hyunjae. his eyes were barely even open before he headed for the coffee machine, which was conveniently next to you. he walks close to you to get the water so you move out of the way, looking up at him. he leans in and gives you a soft kiss on the forehead. "did you sleep alright last night?" he said to you as he leaned his hand onto the top of the stand. you nodded your head, still kind of shocked he had kissed you. "you?"

"i slept great. seojun kept asking me to bring you in too so we can all sleep together but i sang a song to him and it got him to sleep.", you smile, hoping to check in on seojun once you had something to feed the boys. "and uh.. sorry.. about the kiss. old habits.." you chuckle as you continue to cut the vegetables. old habits from years back? you knew he knew what he was doing but you didn't exactly hate it.

when you got juyeon to go wake up the others, in no time, the boys were sitting and getting ready to eat. after you see them start to devour your dish, you giggled to yourself and headed upstairs to check in on seojun. you open the door slowly, hoping not to make much noise.

"mommy?" you hear a small voice say but he doesn't seem fully awake to you. you had to find out the hard way that when he is woken up when he is not ready to, he makes a huge fuss over it. it was actually quite cute to you because it was the same with hyunjae. he was never a morning person. although neither were you. up until you became a mom, you hated waking up early. whenever hyunjae woke up earlier than usual, he liked to just spend the first few hours in bed with you. you lean your head on the frame of the door, admiring your son's features. god, he looked just like hyunjae. you couldn't help but smile. just then, you feel an arm around your shoulder.

"how is he?" you look up to see hyunjae, relieved that he was caring enough to ask. "still sleeping.. i wonder where he got that from." you both chuckle, reminiscing all those memories. you didn't notice his stare on you as you watch seojun's small hands clench the blanket cutely and lips pouting so naturally. it was too adorable. "you're still so beautiful." hyunjae says to you, causing you to blush. you look up at him and lean into him. you feel his arms wrap around you as you slowly watch seojun move around in his sleep. hyunjae was here. he was the love of your life. even on the day he left. and even now, things still haven't changed.

when you hear hyunjae's heartbeat against your ear, something inside you clicked. something you'd felt was missing for all these years. you hesitated a bit before you placed your lips on his. before you could even think of your decision, he had already placed both his hand on your waist and pulled you closer. your noses touch as you softly let go, faces still inches apart.

"i love you.."

"hyunjae..", you were slowly tearing up as you tried to think of the right words. "i don't know what i was thinking. there is nothing to consider. you're the father of my child. of our child. that baby in there is my only treasure right now and you're the one who gave me him. i have watched him grow and i have never once regretted having him. all these years, i've felt so lucky to have a mini version of you that i got to keep on my end," hyunjae listened carefully to your words. his eyes sparkled as he did so, wanting to do nothing but hug you and tell you that none of this was your fault. that what he did was stupid and he only wants you to be happy. "i once loved you so much that i'd do anything for you. and i know i can again. i'm sorry for being so confusing and doing this push and pull game with you. i never should have been so childish about this. seojun would be more than happy to know if you and i got back together.. that is.. if you still want to."

"if i want to? y/n.. there is nothing more that could make me happier," he pulled you into another sudden kiss, softly letting go before wrapping his warm embrace around you. "i will do everything to make you guys happy. it is, from now on, my number one priority.."

"and about your job?"

"still my number one priority. i want to be there for you guys from now on. i know there's a company that goes along with this but i mean it when i say i'm here when you need me to be." his comforting words made you feel safe, knowing he was going to be by your side from now on.

"i know you'll be a good father.."

"you really think so?"

"i know so."

"if that's the case, i'll pay for your rent and everything from now on. in fact, i'm moving in. we can get married and we-"

"woah.. woah. easy there, buddy. don't get too ahead of yourself there. i don't mind the rent part but marrying. it'll take at least a few months." with a sigh, he holds your hand. "okay... as long as i get to still be with you. now get ready to invite everyone to our wedding." he smirked, finding your glare amusing.

"hyunjae!"

"i'm kidding.." hyunjae laughs as you both heard the bed creak. your son was running over, almost bumping his body against yours. you pick him up with a kiss on his cheek.

"did you sleep alright?"

"mhmm.. but next time, i want you and daddy to sleep together." he says, as you let him down onto the floor. you blushed as you already knew that smirk that was plastered onto hyunjae's face.

"this kid knows what he's talking about." he teased you so you smack his chest.

lee hyunjae wasn't some boy you could start hating just because he broke up with you. lee hyunjae was your high school sweetheart. he held good standards at school, at home, and always did the best for you. so no, he was a guy you loved even after a breakup. and you loved him because he left you with the best gift in your life and managed to come back as if nothing had changed.

he was your first love. he was your second love. and he was your last love.

i can’t see when i close my eyes | l.hyunjae

full series masterlist: what’s trending?

pairing: tbz hyunjae x f!reader

genre: fluff, comedy

warnings: mentions of the hospital and minor curses

wc: 0.8k

network(s): @kflixnet

listened to: u+me=love by 7 love minutes

not proofread

// my 200 days with tbz special

# now playing hyunjae’s ver ! 𑁋 i can’t see when i close my eyes..

would be the type to say ‘it’s because of that phone!’ without actually hearing what you said was complete bullshit

would nag at you but because he was genuinely worried

sunlight seeped into the apartment you and hyunjae shared, brightening up the room naturally. since it was a sunday, you didn’t have work which left you with nothing to do for the rest of the day. hyunjae, on the other hand, was busy finishing up some last minute work that actually wasn’t needed but he wanted his report to be as perfect as it can get.

he sat on the high chair by the kitchen counter, allowing you to get a clear view of him. you were deciding whether you should go pester him or not, seeing him calmly tapping away on his laptop. you were scared to disturb his focus but at the same time, you were bored out of your mind.

it was around 2 in the afternoon and the only thing you did so far was scroll through tiktok as if there weren’t bigger problems in the world. you sighed, legs hung over the top of the sofa so that your head was nearly touching the ground. it made all the blood rush to your head but you were stuck on choosing what to do.

after much contemplation, you decided to be an angel and not disturb your lovely boyfriend who was hard at work.

just kidding, of course, you chose to pester him

you grabbed your phone, went straight to the camera app and started recording. you sneakily slipped it in your sweater sleeves with the camera facing out, heading towards hyunjae, him completely oblivious to your plans.

you stood next to him, peering at him from the side, making him turn his attention on you, “yes, princess?” he was usually the one who wanted to catch your attention and spend all his time clinging onto you so he was pleasantly surprised when you came waddling to him like a lost chick.

he held your face, planting a kiss on your plump lips before hugging you. you couldn't believe him, he was the one who decided to blatantly ignore you for work, nonetheless, you pushed forward with your prank. in a serious manner, you pulled away from the hug, holding onto his hands instead. “jae.. i think i need to go to the hospital.”

“what? why?” his sudden interruption alarmed you despite knowing full well how he’d react. his eyes had widened from your words, scared yet concerned to know why you had to go to the hospital. “um, when i close my eyes, i can’t see,” you said, looking down to the ground, acting sad.

“this is what you get for reading in the dark, or is it because of your phone, ah y/n! i told you to take care of yourself-” it suddenly turned into a lecture of your incessant habit of reading in the dark and he only rambled on and on when his voice came to a halt.

“wait.. you can’t see when you close your eyes?” his face was twisted with confusion as he repeated the sentence over, processing what you said. he gasped, pushing your hands away, “princess! are you okay? of course, you can’t see when you close your eyes!” his hand was clutching his chest as he frowned at you. “you made me think there was actually something wrong with you,” he huffed, shooting you glares.

you could only cackle as you jumped around, overjoyed that you tricked him. you thought he would get it right away. “i got you good, jae!” you playfully stuck your tongue at him causing him to jolt out his seat, chasing you around the kitchen island.

as he caught you, he tickled your sides and only stopped when you apologised

you sat on his lap facing him, arms wrapped around his neck when you said something else that made you another step closer to being tickled till you cried of laughter

“or maybe, you also have a problem with your eyes!”

permanent taglist: @stealanity @yengyangyo @jaerisdiction @zwiehe @heojangmi @paralumanniluna @luvrbin @odxrilove @ryuflix <3 (asked to be remove at any time! no hard feelings)

(fill the google form in series masterlist to be added to series taglist)

i really try my best to keep all my fics gender neutral so i’m sorry if i didn’t do so this time around :[ hope you guys liked it ₍ᐢ. ̫.ᐢ₎

love, leona!

stupid feelings | l.hyunjae

synopsis: spending new years’ with your childhood friend but you made a mistake of falling in love with him.

pairing: tbz’s hyunjae x reader

genre: unrequited love, slight fluff, angst

wc: 1.5k

warning: profanities, hyunjae is a little rude here

network: @kflixnet

leona was listening to: inner child by satica

not proofread

“c’mon, let’s go to the rooftop!” hyunjae hurriedly said, pulling you along with him up the stairs, “there’s only a minute left!” you didn’t say anything more since all you could focus on was his gentle touch against your wrist. you honestly don’t know when you started having such feelings for the man in front of you, maybe it was the initial tension between you two or maybe it was the undeniable chemistry you two had.

as soon as you step foot onto the huge rooftop garden, you could hear fireworks popping but no sight to see. a hum of confusion spiralled out of the both of you as you guys thought you could see the fireworks from the mall’s rooftop.

“oh! y/n, behind us!” he was beyond excited to see the fireworks, pointing to the scenery behind you guys. spinning around, you were met face to face with different vibrant colours of the fireworks shooting into the night sky. a clear view presented itself from the high level.

you were in awe as you ran to the railings, getting as close as you could to see them. the atmosphere turned quiet as the two of you observed the show, just living in the moment. your arms rested against the metal railings, mouth agape as you took in the scene silently.

you barely realised that hyunjae hadn’t been beside you since you stepped towards the edge. as you turned around to check on him, you caught him taking pictures of you as multiple fireworks went off behind you.

“ah, what are you doing?” you chuckled, posing jokingly as hyunjae continued to snap photos of you, the sound of the camera shuttering multiple times. “taking pictures of a nice sight, duh,” he replied, a wide grin plastered on his face as he made his way towards you, finally stopping his mini photoshoot.

“fine, then you stand there now, i’ll take pictures of you,” you were about to move away from him so you could take solo shots of him but he only pulled you closer, “it’s okay, we can take it together.”

he didn’t give you time to object before he wrapped his arm around your shoulder before planting a kiss on your cheek, taking a selfie with you, purple fireworks shot upwards, erupting into loud noise. you merely had time to react so when he took the picture, you were looking at him, eyes widened at the action he did.

“delete that picture! i wasn’t ready!” you shouted, reaching for his phone. “no! you look cute, don’t worry,” he retaliated, staring at the picture. “what are you saying,” you stuttered as you processed what he just casually said.

“shh, you talk too much, just look at the view,” he placed his index finger on your lips, the cold sensation of his ring grazing against your lips as he spun you back around to look at the fireworks.

you tried, you really did try to pay attention to the fireworks but his loose grip that shifted to your waist made you wish there was something more to this friendship, relationship even. you honestly didn’t know whether hyunjae knew about your feelings and chose to ignore it or he actually was oblivious to the fact that you were head over heels with him.

you weren’t entirely lying when you said you didn’t know why and how you came to liking your childhood best friend but you could guess around when you started to.

maybe it was when he stood up to those girls who bullied you for dancing online, saying they were just jealous of you even though you knew you looked like a worm or maybe it was when he invited you to the waterpark even when his best guy friend was available on that day. perhaps it was the fact that he never changed despite gaining popularity during high school, even though you did think he was going to be just like those assholes in movies. you were glad he didn’t.

even so, could he like you back? it would completely ruin the dynamics of the friendship that has been lasting for 16 years since you guys were 8. it might be for the best if you just pushed those stupid feelings down and never speak of them again.

you nodded to your own thoughts and was about to pull away his hand from your waist when soft pattering of the rain immediately changed into pouring, heavy rain. “shit, y/n, we gotta go,” hyunjae muttered, clasping your hand, pulling you through the rooftop. it was a bad idea to wear white shoes since the muddy grass dirtied them but you don’t think you could’ve changed hyunjae’s mind in dragging you along with him.

it was funny wasn’t it, spending new years with your best friend, running in the rain together, yet all the two of you were friends. just friends.

you guys finally made it to the stairwell and trying not to trip down the stairs was a challenge. the two of you only stopped when you found a seat in a cafe in the building itself.

“well, that was eventful,” you sighed, ruffling your hair back. “sure was..” he replied, taking in deep breaths. as soon as he caught his breath he started again, “oh, yeah! remember the girl from my university? the one working part time at the gym i always go to?”

“um.. no? i don’t think i’ve heard of her?” your brows couldn’t help but to furrow at the mention of a new girl in his life. “oh, then i must’ve just told juyeon, anyways! i met her two weeks ago, she’s super cute and exactly my type, so i mustered up the courage to ask her out on a date and apparently she had been eyeing me too,” he spoke excitedly, wiggling his eyebrows.

yea, as if you were going to be so happy with the news. you had been doing such a great job holding it in but this, this was it.

“hyunjae, then why would you kiss my cheek? and call me what? call me cute? what the fuck is wrong with you, you can’t be playing with peoples’ feelings like that, i don’t know if you’re doing this on purpose or if you are just plain dumb but it really hurts. my heart is not something you can mess around with, it’s not a toy and i will not allow it to be played with. i truly don’t know your intentions but you’re a dick,” you couldn’t control what was coming out of your mouth, it felt like water was just seeping out, all gates broke loose.

“i know you’re popular and i know you wouldn’t have left me for those more superior than me but i’d rather that happen than you stringing me along,” tears brimmed your eyes as you ranted. you were thankful for an almost empty cafe.

at first, hyunjae was at a loss for words. he couldn’t say anything, what would you even say to that? it felt relieving calling him out but as soon as you heard his next words, you wished you had never even opened your mouth at all.

“are you actually serious? that’s literally what close friends do and if you can’t respect my small actions then what are we doing together, still as friends? i can’t believe you make me the bad guy when you’re the one being selfish for thinking the whole world revolves around you, it’s been nice having you as my friend, i thought you knew me, guess not. i’ll see you around.” he stormed off despite your rushed callings.

“wait!” you stood up but he walked away too fast for you to even utter another syllable. you drop into the once comfy armchair, placing your head into your hands. the utter rejection and humiliation was indescribable beyond words. this wouldn’t happen if it weren’t for your stupid feelings. you ruined the friendship, it was all your fault. you knew better than to lash out at him, you knew he could never harbour romantic feelings for you but the bitter ending got to you. stupid feelings.

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might be based on true events.. anyways, sorry this was really rushed since i wrote this in class on like 5% battery and also wanted to get something out on my birthday (two days ago oops), might delete bc i hate the ending, i'll figure out a better one! sorry!

love, leona

attention - lee hyunjae.

you two hate each other...right?

word count: too lazy to count will add in later 😩

warnings: sexual frustration, mixed signals, slight angst, lots of plot, dom!jae x reader, a little bit of eric x reader (nothing sexual tho), possessive hyunjae (yikes buckle up hoes), sex against a wall, sex in a janitors closet, cute lil nicknames like slut, whore, & bitch, slight dacryphilia (gotta squint), praise, degradation, teasing, fingering & handjob, hickeys...lots of hickeys...

https://strawberrysohn.tumblr.com/post/678709061472157696/like-you-hate-me-lee-hyunjae (part one please read before this part)

you walk into school that monday, head held high. you walk past the group of cheerleaders by their lockers - he had been with all of them already. all in different places and positions. you recalled hearing how he fucked one of them in his car, one of them in the showers, and another sucked him off during study hall.

you chuckle to yourself realizing just how much of a manwhore hyunjae was. it humored you, really.

“i already told you, eric,” you hear his voice and you stop in your tracks. your eyes search rapidly for him until they finally spot him, standing at his locker. his friend, eric was beside him, as always. “i didn’t fuck anyone at the party.”

your eyes widen as you inch a tiny bit closer to eavesdrop more.

“that’s so unlike you!” the blonde boy exclaims. you watch as hyunjae closes his locker rather loudly. “last party you had, you told me you were with three girls in one night.”

you cringe at that. god, he was a whore.

“yeah, well, this time i wasn’t with anyone,” hyunjae speaks. you notice that he doesn’t meet his friend’s eyes. “it’s not that big of a deal.”

you walk away to your own locker, replaying his words in your head. why was he lying? was he ashamed to have been with you? is that why he had left so suddenly after? and why did you care so much?

--

the only class you had with hyunjae was honors english. and you sat diagonal from him, giving you the perfect view of him at all times. not like you wanted to look at him, or anything.

hyunjae arrives to class later than usual, but still before the bell. if it were under any other circumstances, you wouldn’t bat an eye. but, by looking at his slightly messy appearance (tousled hair, untucked shirt, etc) you knew why he had shown up so late.

the male walks briskly to his seat, not bothering to look in your direction at all. you’d be lying if you said you didn’t feel a little bit of jealousy towards whoever the lucky lady he had just fucked was.

you try to focus on your class, but you can't help but get distracted mid-lesson by the boy diagonal from you.

he really did look lovely while concentrating. was he always this attractive? you didn't think so. maybe it was just the post-sex euphoria still lingering around inside you. you didn't pay too much mind to your thoughts as you exit the classroom with everyone else when the bell rings.

hyunjae rushes past you, his shoulder brushing against yours ever so slightly.

and somehow, that one slight touch made you even more frustrated.

you creep through the crowd to your next class, your feet unintentionally dragging behind you. he disappears into the crowd of students heading to their next classes and you let out a sigh.

getting his attention again could prove to be difficult.

the next time you saw him was at the end of the day. you walked past him in the hall. he was with eric, of course. it was kind of crowded around where they were, but you managed to eavesdrop a little.

“what are your thoughts on that one girl?” eric asks the other, leaning against his locker. “what’s her name...y/n?”

you see hyunjae stiffen, but he keeps his composure. “she’s alright,” he speaks monotone. “why are you asking about her?” he doesn’t take his eyes off his locker.

eric shrugs. “don’t know,” he replies. “might make a move on her. you’ve never been with her, right?”

hyunjae hums and closes his locker, rather loudly. “no, i haven’t,” he makes direct eye contact with his friend. “she’s all yours, bro. have fun.”

you gulp as you walk away from their conversation. now, you had other things to worry about besides getting hyunjae’s attention.

now you had to deal with eric’s attention.

--

tuesday goes by, wednesday goes by, even thursday, too. but it’s friday now, and you know what you have to do.

you had given up on dressing nice (you had wore a skirt every day that week and still, nothing) so you entered the hall in your grey pullover hoodie, black leggings, and high tops, hoping your amount of effort showed how done you were with hyunjae’s stupid ass.

you don’t look his way as you pass his locker. you don’t try to eavesdrop on what he and eric are talking about. you do, however, feel a pair of eyes on you as you walk away.

you sit through all yours classes until it’s time for english, with hyunjae. he arrives on time, ignoring your eyes once again. little bitch.

but all throughout class, you find your eyes glued to the side of his face. you admire his perfect nose, his perfect lips, everything. he was so good looking and you hated his stupid perfect face.

you watch as he takes notes, his pencil scribbling on the paper. but oh, his hands. 

you had grown a liking to those hands. those long, slender fingers. the way they held you, the way they stretched you just right.

no, stop! you internally curse at yourself. you don’t like him, you don’t want him, and you don’t need his attention!

you were lying to yourself. you did like him, you did want him, and you did need his attention. who were you kidding?

--

as the school day comes to an end, you walk briskly past he and his friend’s lockers. you didn’t want to hear what they were buzzing about anymore.

“hey, y/n?” you hear your name and turn around. your heart nearly stops completely when you meet eyes with eric, jogging towards you. he must’ve seen you from the crowd. “can i talk to you?”

you blink rapidly, thinking of an answer. “um, sure?” that was honestly the best you could come up with.

eric clears his throat and catches his breath. “i was wondering you wanna go with me to the basketball game tonight?” 

you’re stunned, truly. when eric said he was gonna make a move on you, you didn’t think he was gonna ask you out. 

you wouldn’t lie: eric was attractive. very attractive. and from what you had heard, he was slightly less of a douche than hyunjae was. so, what could be wrong here?

plus, wherever eric was, hyunjae was sure to be. maybe this was the perfect way to finally get his attention.

coming back out of your thoughts, you nod to eric. “sure, i’d love to go with you.” you respond.

eric smiles largely. “great! meet me here at 6?” he slings his bag over his shoulder. when you nod in agreement, he smiles once again, sending a wink your way. “see you then.”

suddenly, your plan was back in full swing. and this time, you knew you were gonna succeed. 

--

“i’m honestly shocked you agreed to go with me,” eric says. he’s rambled a lot since you’ve been with him, but you didn’t mind. you found it cute. “i didn’t think you would like someone like me.”

“someone like you?” you tilt your head, pretending you had no idea what he was talking about. “what do you mean, eric?”

he looks at you before sighing. “i know i have a bit of a reputation,” he admits. “my friend does too. you know hyunjae, right?”

you nod. oh yes, you definitely knew hyunjae. 

“well, then you know that he’s a bit...” eric pauses, looking for the word to use. you figured he was trying not to insult his best friend, yet still be honest with you. “he’s a bit worse than me. a little bit more of a...” he trails off again, but you decide to help him out.

“a man-whore?” you suggest, an innocent smile on your face.

eric laughs, yet nods. “yeah, you can for sure say that,” he pulls open the door to the gym, where the basketball game was being held. “he really is a man-whore isn’t he?” the boy hums to himself and pulls the door shut behind the two of you.

muisc plays over the speakers as the players warm-up on the court. you look at the packed, busy bleachers, wondering where you would be sitting.

but then you knew exactly where you’d be sitting.

your eyes meet hyunjae’s from halfway up the stairs. he didn’t look upset or anything like that. in fact, his face didn’t show anything. 

you wished he didn’t have such a good poker face.

“hey man,” eric greets his friend, who’s expression changes once eric opens his mouth. “you know y/n, right?”

of course he knew you. you were the girl he had almost thrown away all his morals for. you were the one he had been wanting to talk to all week but always chickened out. you were the girl who had managed to drive him absolutely mad in one amazing, unforgettable night. 

and you were here with his best friend.

“yeah,” hyunjae responds, shifting his eyes to watch the players on the court. he doesn’t even seem to care that you’ve sat next to him.

being sat in-between eric and hyunjae...was something. you tried to sit a little closer to eric, since you were here with him, but hyunjae...

as the game came to a start, your eyes shifted from the court, to the side profile beside you. you realized that this was technically a date and you were paying no mind to the guy you were actually on a date with.

you sit up straight and snuggle into eric a little, mumbling to him, “i’m cold,” you had changed out of your hoodie when you went home, putting on a short sleeve top instead. and just as you hoped, eric was a gentleman.

he lifts his own hoodie over his head and hands it to you. “here you go, babe,” he smiles at you ad turns his attention back to the game. 

you blush at the nickname and pull the hoodie over your head and adjust it so you’re comfortable. 

“better?” eric asks you as he puts an arm around your shoulder, pulling you closer to him. 

“yes, thank you,” you smile to yourself and snuggle into the male. you notice hyunjae stiffen from the corner of your eye. his jaw was clenched and you could tell he was riled up. and he looked so hot riled up.

you could tell that you were winning this battle. you could tell that no matter how calm and composed hyunjae was while engaging in casual conversation with eric, he was thinking about getting you alone. and you could tell that when he would get you alone, that he was gonna ruin you.

and you couldn’t wait.

in fact, you were sure you’d make that happen sooner than later.

you pull away from eric’s grip. “i have to use the bathroom,” you lie, noticing the male on the other side of you perks up a bit. bullseye.

but you weren’t done. oh no, not even close.

“alright,” eric smiles at you. you felt a little bad about what you were going to do, but it had to be done. “see you in a bit.”

instead of nodding and leaving, you lean in quickly and plant your lips on eric’s. as you hoped, he returns the kiss, one of his hands coming to rest on your hip before you pull away, feeling a bit dizzy.

“see ya!” you stand up straight and wave to both eric and hyunjae and turn away from them, leaving their sight with a smirk on your face.

--

“what the fuck are you doing?” hyunjae all but growls at you as soon as he enters the hallway a little bit after you did. “are you insane? you have got to be out of your fucking mind-”

“shut your ass up, you dick,” you interrupt, watching as his eyes widen ever so slightly. you yank your wrist out of his grasp, ignoring the small pain that came from it. “this whole week i’ve been trying to get your attention, and you pretended like i didn’t even exist. really? that’s low, even for you.”

he doesn’t say anything, he just looks at you with dark eyes. you thought you saw fifty storms brewing in those eyes, but you kept your composure.

“you’re such a fucking man-whore!” you practically yell. luckily everyone was still in the gym for the game so they couldn’t hear or see your outburst. “you made me feel so good, so appreciated for one night. now i know you were just coming onto me for the sex.”

“y/n, listen to me-”

“no, hyunjae,” you interrupt him again, this time getting right in his face. you could tell he was caught off guard by the way he moves his head back slightly and by the little gasp he let out. “you listen to me.”

he stares into your eyes, his own burning into yours with so many questions.

“i don’t mean shit to you,” you spit at him through gritted teeth. “and you don’t mean shit to me.” you poke his chest hard with every word. “i mean it! i hate you!”

“y/n, please-”

once again you don’t let him speak. “you son of a bitch, you actually made me believe that you were gonna treat me differently than all the other girls,” you shake your head, ignoring the tears that threatened to fall from your eyes. “i was wrong! i was stupid to ever think that you had a fucking heart.”

this time, he doesn’t even try to speak. he just stares at you, his shocked expression turning into one of regret instead.

you step back slightly, lifting eric’s hoodie sleeve to dab underneath your eyes. “i can’t believe i actually fell for your act,” you sigh, shaking your head at yourself. “if only i just resisted. then i wouldn’t have had to have felt so good due to someone who treats me like shit. maybe then i wouldn’t have craved that attention from you anymore. maybe then i wouldn’t have had to kiss your best friend in front of you to make you pay attention to me. maybe then-”

his lips meet yours and suddenly, every lined up thought you had was scattered into an unruly mess. he was kissing you. he was kissing you. you knew what the other girls said. “hyunjae doesn’t kiss anyone he hooks up with. he must be afraid of intimacy.” yet, here he was: intimate and all.

his hands find your waist and he pulls you in closer to him, as you finally start to move your lips in time with his. hyunjae was kissing you. and damn was he good at it.

as his tongue finds its way into your mouth, his hands slide up and down your sides. you feel yourself slowly get weak in the knees at all his touches.

when he finally pulls away to look at you, you notice the usual stoic expression leave his eyes and become replaced by a more raw expression. huh. maybe he did have a heart after all.

“y/n, i want you,” he breathes out, voice hoarse. “i...i need you, okay?” there was so much need in his tone but also something else that you couldn’t quite lay a finger on.

your mind still foggy and your knees shaking, you nod. “ok-okay.” you reply. you pull your trembling hands into the sleeves of your hoodie as hyunjae grabs one sleeved hand and drags you gently into the janitor’s closet. how romantic.

the closet was roomier than you imagined, thankfully. you were glad it was less painful and cramped when you were pushed against a wall by hyunjae almost immediately after he made sure the door was locked all the way.

his lips find yours again and you return to heaven. your eyelids flutter from the feeling and you instinctively throw your arms around hyunjae’s neck, pulling him closer to you.

there was something different in his kiss this time around. whereas the first one had been sweet, magical even, this one was pure need, more intense.

while his lips move against yours mind-boggingly well, his hands find the hem of your hoodie.

you let out a small whine into his mouth, gasping for air when he removes his lips from yours and instead, leaves a trail of kisses down your neck. 

“hyunjae...” you whisper his name as he starts to suck on the skin of your neck. you grip the back of his neck as your eyes close from the feeling. 

the male groans against your skin, pressing his crotch against you. you could feel how hard he was and it made your pussy throb.

he leaves marks all over your neck, covering both sides. he was sucking and biting on the skin like a rabid animal, muttering something under his breath that you unfortunately couldn’t comprehend.

when he pulls away, he’s breathing heavy, looking into your eyes deeply. you feel your face heat up from his gaze.

“y/n,” he speaks. his voice was barely above a whisper, but you understood him perfectly when he said his next words: “i want to taste you.”

a familiar feeling bubbled in your core as you nod, closing your eyes to calm your breathing. “please,” was all you could say.

you watch as hyunjae drops to his knees, not taking his hungry eyes off of yours. the sight alone was orgasmic.

he lifts up your skirt, noticing the wetness seeping through the thin fabric of your panties. his eyes lift to meet yours for a moment before a finger slips in and slides the damp cloth to the side.

“hyunjae, please,” you whine, watching him with needy eyes. your chest was rising and falling rather quickly. despite being in this type of situation with him before, you were somehow nervous, unlike the last time.

you could feel that there was something different; something that wasn’t there last time. there was something in his eyes, something in his aura. it was making you wonder...how much more was he holding back?

your wonders and curiosities exit your brain quickly as the male slips one long finger into your aching core and you let out a gasp that shifts into a moan as he starts to pump the finger in and out.

“j...jae...” you moan out and he looks at you at the return of the name you had used last time. the name that he had grown to love, the name he had repeated in his head in your voice for the past week almost.

eager to please you, hyunjae adds a second finger and you lay your head back against the wall. somehow with hyunjae, the pleasure was always overwhelming, no matter what he was doing.

“add another...” you mumble but he hears it and he quickly complies to your request. 

with three fingers inside you, hyunjae stretches you out with no mercy, making you squirm and whine, your eyelids fluttering from the overflowing pleasure.

his free hand grips your hip, keeping you steady. 

“jae, fuck,” you moan out as he starts to curl his fingers inside you.

“feels good?” he asks you, though you can tell he already knows the answer.

“yes, so good,” you sputter out, feeling your high coming. “i-i’m close, jae.”

he hums and thrusts his fingers into you even harder, sending you spiraling. “cum for me, darling.” his eyes once again meet yours and his lust-filled gaze was enough to send you over the edge.

you release with a silent moan, your eyes screwing shut. you feel your legs start to shake as you calm down, your chest rising and falling at a fast pace.

when you look down again to meet his eyes, you watch as he sucks the juices from his fingers, keeping eye contact with you while doing so. “delicious, darling, just like i expected.”

“y-you’re so hot,” you trail off, gulping. you weren’t ashamed to admit what you were thinking anymore. “you know that?”

“mm, of course i do,” hyunjae responds. “why else would i be so confident, hm? why else would i be able to get any girl i want?”

you roll your eyes, shaking your head. “we get it, you’re a man-whore.”

“if anyone here is a whore, darling,” he stands straight again, placing a hand on either side of your head, trapping you between he and the wall. “it’s you.”

“my body count is anywhere near as lengthy as yours,” you admit. “so don’t act like you know what’s up.”

“mm, alright, fine,” hyunjae recoils temporarily before speaking again. “maybe you’re not a whore in that sense, but you are the biggest fucking attention whore.”

your eyes widen and you shake your head. you were doubtful you’d be able to keep up the act for very long. “i’m not.”

“you are, darling,” he starts again, chuckling under his breath. “you live for the attention.  that’s what you wanted this whole week, no? you were so desperate for my attention and when you got none, you went to crazy, dumb, stupid measures to get it.”

“you’re just jealous i kissed eric.” you reply, staring up at him, your confidence not faltering.

you watch as hyunjae swallows, his eyes leaving yours for a moment, then returning. “i’m not jealous,” he retorts. “why would i be jealous? you’re not mine.”

“you kissed me, hyunjae,” you recall and his face falls, every ounce of confidence that was there before had blown away. “you don’t kiss anyone you hook up with. i listen to what everyone says, you know.”

hyunjae freeezes in place for a moment, seemingly contemplating what he wants to say. you could tell that your words had made him think more than he wanted to and that you had realized things you weren’t supposed to have realized. 

“you can tell me what you’re thinking, you know,” you speak again after getting no response from him. “i want to listen, okay?”

he shakes his head, turning towards you again. “you don’t get it, do you?” he speaks, his voice rather shaky. “y/n, i have never felt this confused in my life, okay? one minute, i think you’re annoying, and five minutes later, you’re hot as shit.”

“well that’s just because you had sex with me.”

“is it?” hyunjae raises a brow. “or was it that maybe i realized something. something that i had known deep down for longer than i can remember, but i refused to say anything because i knew that no matter how nice to you i could ever be, you would still hate my fucking guts.”

“jae...” you trail off, looking at him with worried eyes. “what are you saying...?”

“damn it, y/n!” his volume and power startles you. your heart stops beating momentarily. when he realizes he snapped, his eyes meet yours and he sighs. "i just..." he trails off, his gaze dropping to just below your eyes. "forget it. it's not important."

"jae," you start, lifting a hand up cautiously to the side of his face. his skin was smooth, soft, and warm under your touch. he lets out a calm breath at your touch and clears his throat. "don't be afraid to tell me your feelings."

"feelings?" he shakes his head, chuckling. "there are no feelings to discuss. what kind of feelings towards you could i possibly have, y/n?"

"okay, fine," you hum. "maybe it'll help if i'm honest with you first. so, here goes. hyunjae, i-"

"i think i'm in love with you."

silence enters the janitor's closet after hyunjae's interruption. you stare, mouth agape at the male across from you. the same guy who had made your life a living hell for years...was now possessing feelings for you?

“i...think i'm in love with you,” he whispers this time. you look into his eyes and see a glassy layer over them. “i am. i don’t know how, i don’t know why. maybe it’s the way you’re always so passionate about everything you do, or...or because you’re so determined. maybe it’s the way you carry yourself, with such confidence. you know you’re smart, you know your worth. you know what you want and you take it. and god, there’s just so much more i could say about you and it still wouldn’t get the job done. and i don’t know when this happened, but i-”

now it’s your turn to shut him up with a kiss. you wrap your arms around his neck, bringing him closer as he slowly reciprocates the kiss.

you don’t know why you shut him up, to be honest. it’s not that you didn’t like what you were hearing. maybe it was just that it was all too much to take in at one time. 

your lips move against his with fury, his hands finding your hips almost immediately. his fingers dig into your skin and you can’t even complain about the pain. it’s not like it bothered you anyway.

alarmingly enough, he lets out what seems like a whine into your mouth. was he that needy for you? his sounds combined with the way he was rubbing himself against you told you everything.

when you pull away from the kiss, he pants, eyes not leaving yours for even a split second. "touch me," he practically begs. "y/n, touch me, please."

if you could've recorded the tone of his voice in that moment so you could listen to it for the rest of your life, you would have. his words were dripping in need, dripping in desire. he needed you so bad.

quickly, your hands finds his pants, unbuttoning and unzipping impatiently. you couldn't even say anything. you just wanted to please him.

when you pull his hardened length from its constraints, your eyes widen once again, not only from the size (even though you saw it before, you couldn't not be impressed every time), but from the amount of precum that had already come out. boy was he desperate.

hyunjae breathes heavily as you start to stroke his length at a slow pace, using his precum as lube. you watch as your hand glides up and down his shaft smoothly.

"no, no, look at me, y/n," he speaks, voice shaky. "please look at me."

you nod and lift your gaze to meet his. "better?" you ask, watching as he tugs his bottom lip under his top one.

"yes, so much," he lets out a groan as your hand touches the head of his cock for a moment. "faster, please." he whispers but you still manage to hear it.

you move your hand faster on his cock and he lets out the most lovely sounds. "yes, yes, like that," his words turn into moans as he looks at you with dark eyes.

the sound of his moans were like heaven to you. there was something so angelic yet sinful about his sounds and it had you reeling.

as you stroke his length at a fast pace, his chest rises and falls with every harsh breath he takes. “fuck, y/n,” he groans, his eyelids fluttering. the way your name fell from his lips so sinfully made you even more eager to please him.

“a-am i doing a good job?” you ask him, your voice unintentionally shaking. you were sure it was from the need clouding your head. 

“yes, darling,” hyunjae groans lowly, nodding his head the best he could. “so good, so fucking good.” he growls the last bit, bucking his hips into your hand a little bit. 

it was a bit odd, you must admit, seeing hyunjae this vulnerable. you figured his need had taken over at this point and you knew it was unlikely you’d get this side of him again, but you had your hopes. even if you didn’t, you were going to savor this while it lasted.

your hand strokes his length quickly, the sound of the slight wetness making you bite your lip as you feel the wetness return to your core.

one of his hands comes to find your wrist, wrapping around it. the other hand runs through his hair as he lets out the same sinful noises you had grown to enjoy. “shit,” he moans out, letting his head fall back. “make me cum, darling, come on.” he growls moving your hand with his own as his breaths grow more and more erratic.

your eyes fall down to admire his length. you thought you felt a bit of drool come from your lips, but you have been mistaken. even after seeing him before, you were still so impressed (but also not surprised) with hyunjae’s body. he was just so perfect...

his grip on your wrist tightens, dragging you out from your thoughts just in time to see white strings of cum land smoothly on his and your hand. and also on the hoodie that clothed your torso.

“jae, you got cum on eric’s hoodie!” you gasp, looking down in horror, trying to wipe off the mess. you didn’t see the male in front of you smirk as he catches his breath. mission accomplished.

“he won’t notice or care,” hyunjae responds. “he gets all kind of stuff on that thing. food, drinks, who knows what. don’t get your panties in a bunch, darling.”

you frown but nod. your hands fall to the hem of the hoodie, ready to lift it over your head and take it off. “well, if this is going to continue, then i should just-”

“no.”

you blink softly, stopping your movements. “wha..?”

hyunjae shakes his head. “leave it on.”

“but...but it’s eric’s...”

“that’s why,” hyunjae responds. “it’s his. don’t you think he’d love when you return it to him after it smells like me?”

you shake your head. “he wouldn’t like that at all, i don’t think.”

“very well then,” he nods in approval. “now it’s definitely staying on.”

you gulp nervously. you wouldn’t lie, seeing him like this was very arousing. something about hyunjae being so possessive...it’s like he was trying to remind you that you were his.

but...were you his?

he grabs your hips before whispering to you. “jump.” so you do, wrapping your legs around his waist, pulling him a little closer.

your noses almost touch and you let out a shaky breath. even after everything, you still got goosebumps being this close to him. “jae...” you whisper softly. the tone of your voice seemingly stirs something in him. you grip onto his arms as his length rubs against your wet core. “please.”

he doesn’t hesitate to insert himself into you, making you gasp. his size still managed to stretch you out just right. “jae, jae, oh my god.” you chant his name as he stills, letting you get comfortable.

as you regain your breath, he looks at you, eyes hooded, lips slightly parted. he was just so entranced in your beauty. he looked forward to seeing you fall apart on his cock again. 

“move, jae, please,” you whine, his heavy eye contact doing things to you.

“beg,” he demands, making your eyes go wide and your vision blurry with need. “beg for my cock like the little slut you know you are.”

“b-but...jae-”

he looks at you sternly and you feel that you might have collapsed if he wasn’t holding you up. he just had so much power over you...it made you want to curl up into a ball and scream into a pillow.

taking a deep breath, you weigh over your options. you could choose to not beg and get no dick, or you could throw away all your morals and beg for him like some desperate bitch and humiliate yourself.

you decided on the latter.

“please fuck me, jae,” you begin, internally cringing at your own tone of voice. “please, please, i need you inside me. i need you filling me up, stretching me out just right as you rearrange my guts. please, please, please-”

your words are cut off by a moan as he starts slowly move into you. no matter the speed, he still felt so good inside you, so right. it was like he was made for your pussy.

“fuck, y/n,” the male groans, looking down and watching as his cock disappeared into you with every deep, passionate thrust. “you feel so good wrapped around me.” and it was true. the way your walls hugged his length felt amazing to him. perfect, even. it was like you were made for his cock.

your moans spill out uncontrollably as he picks up his pace a little bit more, the sound of his hips hitting yours repeatedly filling the room along with your sinful sounds.

the noises you let out only added more fuel to hyunjae’s fire. “oh, you really are a slut, aren’t you?” he smirks, watching your expressions. he was in awe of how you could look so innocent, yet so sinful at the same time. it really got him going.

“n-no,” your voice cracks as you deny. “not a slut...” you shake your head the best you can while hyunjae quite literally fucks you up.

“mm, you’re right...maybe not a slut in general,” he hums in thought, his relentless pace not slowing one bit. “maybe just a slut for me, hm, darling?”

you were going to say something, but you can’t speak when hyunjae starts to pound into you, making your eyes roll back. you didn’t think it was possible to be fucked this hard, yet here you were. 

“hyunjae, oh my god,” you all but scream as he rams into you at an inhumane pace, fucking you with so much speed and power you felt like you were gonna get whiplash (haha). “you fuck me so good. so so fucking good.”

“mm, yeah?” hyunjae asks from in between his rushed breaths and groans. “you like when i fuck you so good your head spins?” he lets out a moan as you clench around his shaft. “oh, fuck, baby, you’re so good for me.”

his voice was laced with so much dominance, so much power. it made your knees tremble. he fucks into you with so much need, so much strength that every moral thought leaves your brain, every faint memory of whatever happened prior to this slips away. all you could focus on was his cock, hitting everything just right and making you lose your mind.

“tell me how good i feel inside you, slut,” hyunjae growls in your ear, his words dripping with a breathy moan. “tell me how good it feels to have me pulsing inside you, splitting you apart.”

you choke on a moan as his pace slows, but gets harder, his thrusts making you bounce slightly. “oh my god, hyunjae, you feel so fucking good, you’re so deep,” you whine as his length tears you up. “a-and so-so...big.” your cheeks flush red with embarrassment while a devilish smirk grows on the male’s face.

“yeah? my big cock making you braindead, hm?” he regains his previous speed, earning a loud gasp followed by a moan from you. “are you my braindead little bitch?” he hisses directly into your ear before taking your lobe between his teeth.

your eyes roll back at his words, his delivery making your toes curl from inside your shoes. “j-jae...” a loud moan of his name leaves your bruised lips as his pace leaves you breathless. “...harder.”

“fuck-” never one to disappoint you, hyunjae starts to pound into you, even harder than before. he groans against your neck, before starting to suck on the already sensitive skin there. his noises muffle against your skin as yours raise in volume from the now doubled pleasure. 

as he fucks you hard as you wear eric’s hoodie, his head races with thoughts. thoughts of jealousy, thoughts of longing. oh how he wanted you to be his.

“mine,” he growls against your neck, almost inaudibly. he half hoped it would go unnoticed by you, yet the other half hoped that you did hear it.

as his head races even more, every last thought blurring together, he somehow manages to fuck into you even harder, rougher, taking note of the way your noises come out more often and louder. his aggression fuels his movements as you become a mess on his cock. he was making you feel this good, he was the only one that could.

helpless cries of pleasure leave your lips as hyunjae sucks several dark, noticeable marks on your skin, pulling back slightly to admire the purple-ish spots on your neck. now people would know you were his. “you’re fucking mine,” he groans into your neck, but you hear him just fine. “my little whore, all mine. just mine.”

“h-hyunjae, c-close-” you stutter out your words, pausing to let out a few choked moans. tears fill your eyes as his pace and power tears you apart.

“mm, yeah?” he taunts, his own breaths getting erratic. he was also getting close. he watches the tears well up in your eyes with a mischievous smirk. “crying for me, hm? crying because i just feel so good, right, babe?” he’d be lying if he didn’t get off on the tears that were now streaming down your face.

“h-hyunjae, fuck!” you lean your head against his shoulder, letting your loud moan muffle as you feel your knot inside release, your juices flowing out of you and spilling onto his cock. 

“oh, shit, babe,” the male leans his head back and groans lowly as he follows suit after you, releasing into you, earning another small whine from you.

sensitive, exhausted, and out of breath, the two of you stay there, panting. he was still inside you, but neither of you seemed to care. you lift your gaze up to look at him, only to find he was already staring. blushing and embarrassed, you try to look away.

“hey, look at me,” he reaches out, cupping your face and lifting it so you’d look at him in the eyes. when you finally meet his eyes, there’s that vulnerability back again. you’re finally reminded of what he said to you before everything else. his gaze falters slightly and you can tell that he can tell what you’ve just been reminded of. “y/n, i-i need you to know that i’m...i’m sorry. for how i’ve treated you. not just this week or this year, but always. i guess i just never knew how to actually act around you.”

“so...your first instinct was to bully me?”

he shakes his head and looks to the floor, ashamed. “i know...i know,” he nods at you, lifting his eyes to meet yours again momentarily. he pulls away from you finally, releasing himself from inside you, emitting a small groan from you. you watch as he fixes himself up and listen as he begins to speak again. “i’m sorry. i was dumb. i’ve just never found someone i actually had feelings for, let alone feelings this strong.” he admits, tugging his bottom lip beneath his top one after.

you take a moment to process his words. he seemed sincere. “jae...this is a lot,” you tell him, sighing. “i mean, i go through the last who knows how many years thinking you hate my guts. and now, you’re...in love with me?” you whisper the last bit, the words unfamiliar to your lips.

“i understand that it’s confusing,” he averts his eyes elsewhere. “i just didn’t know what to do with myself or my feelings.”

you don’t say anything and just keep your gaze to the ground. 

taking your silence as a sign to continue, he takes a deep breath. "y/n, just...just one chance is all i ask for." he spoke more calmly now, no more rushed sentenced with no time to breathe. he was "i want to prove to you that i can be a better man for you."

you smile softly. he sounded so genuine. he was being so genuine. the tenderness, the emotion in his eyes. it was beautiful. he was beautiful. and you could finally see it clearly. he was beautiful. maybe more on the outside than on the inside, but you knew he was going to try.

"i...i really like you, hyunjae," you explain, noticing how you have his full, undivided attention as soon as you start to speak. "a lot. and i love the way you make me feel. because let's be honest here, you make me feel really, really good. like, so good i-"

"don't get me going again, y/n," the male warns, closing his eyes momentarily. he appeared to be thinking.

you sigh. "right, well, i guess i'm just...confused."

hyunjae tilts his head slightly to the left. "confused? why is that?" he hums, lifting a finger to your cheek and caressing the skin softly.

"i...heard you telling eric that you didn't sleep with anyone at the party," you inform him. his eyes widen a bit and realization hits his face. "i thought that maybe you were...ashamed of me? like, i'm not pretty enough or popular enough to be known as a member of your elite list of people you've been with, or some-"

once again, the male cuts you off with a kiss. a sweet one this time. you melt into his touch as his hands find your waist, holding onto you firmly, but also gently. like he didn’t want to hurt you but also wanted you to know that he was never ever gonna let you go.

"y/n, my darling," he begins once he's pulled away from your lips. "i did that to protect your image. word gets around super fast at this school. i tell one person that we fucked, the whole school knows by lunch."

your lips take the shape of an 'o' but no sound comes out. you just nod, looking at your feet. you were smiling like a dork. was he really that thoughtful and considerate? it warmed your heart.

"so, y/n," hyunjae clears his throat and your eyes lift back up to meet his. "do you wanna...see where this goes?"

"what do you mean?"

"i don't know, i was thinking we fuck around some more for a while, maybe try some new stuff," he freezes mid sentence to grasp your hand in his. "and then maybe i'll properly ask you out on a date. how's that sound?" he smirks at you mischievously, since he already knows the answer.

"of course, you ass," you roll your eyes but can't help but smile. "man you're good at talking, huh?" you nudge him in the shoulder a little as you giggle.

"that's not all i'm good at, darling." he winks and you punch his shoulder.

"shut up, dickhead."

"make me."

you lift yourself onto your tiptoes and attach your lips to his with a smile. as his hands find your sides, you wish that you could stay like that forever. but of course, you still have to give eric back his hoodie.

-

ahhh part two is finally out, sorry for the long wait everyone 😩 hope you enjoy <3

aduh panas gw, this part make me giggling n punch the air a little too much

merry (not bad) ending | chapter two

ex!hyunjae x fem!reader

gender: angst, comedy parts, smut in this chapter

warnings: profanity, fights, alcohol, breakup, sex, teasing

wc: 7621 words

notes: second chapter of this story that i’m loving writing, and looking forward to the unfolding of events. sorry for any mistakes as english is not my first language. i hope you like it and my ask is open to talk about anything! <3

✧ m.list ✧

Keep reading

this summer... | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: don't think there's a trope for this one 🤔 established relationship au! » GENRE​: summer break, holiday with friends, boyfie hyunjae, hyunjae's cute curly hair makes an appearance!, very fluffy patient hyunjae, very cute hyunjae, comforting and lovely hyunjae, summer holiday cause we all deserve to rest, maybe around...4/5 comfort level (in my standards!), hyunjae tucks your hair behind your ears, reader blushes because of boyfie hyunjae, long-haired reader who uses her hair to hide from hyunjae, standing infront of the mirror together as you both face your insecurities (hyunjae is also taller than you) » WORD COUNT: ​6384 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~25 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): insecurities, weight and body image

repost for @deoboyznet's 📢❤️ first house event!

just went back and fixed up the grammar and writing mistakes (there were a lot, i don't know how i missed it 😭)

Summer holds a very soft, warm spot in your heart.

For one, it’s the way the season is conveniently placed in the middle of July to the end of August which is the best time to destress after almost half a year of studying your ass off.

Secondly, it’s the way that you would shout “cannonball!” whilst you and your friends linked hands and jumped into the backyard, outdoor swimming pool.

Thirdly, it’s the way that you can flexibly work your schedule for a short amount of time: waking up, sleeping whenever you want to, studying when you want to and hanging out with the same friends when you want to.

Fourthly, it’s the way that every single food tastes so much better in the sunny summer compared to other white winters, the sneezy spring and the awkward cold-but-not-too-cold autumn.

But it’s also the way that you met your boyfriend in this beautiful season two years ago when he transferred to your school, alongside the fact that he shyly (but confidently, at the same time) asked you to be his a year ago at your favourite beach. You remember the way his cheeks flush with surprise when he turns back upon Younghoon and Jacob’s mischievous giggles, telling him to turn back to see you stare at him in bewilderment. The truth was revealed later on that your friends plotted the confession, complaining about your blindness of the lovesick eyes that you both sent to each other yet doing nothing about it.

To celebrate your last high school summer break together, Jaehyun’s closest two friends, Younghoon and Jacob, would come together with your slightly bigger group to spend a little four-day, three-night getaway at Jeju Island.

All of you have been talking about this for ages and how it would be a fun treat for making it through the last decade of compulsory high school and to give an encouraging pump for the last half a year left before you all finally become adults and take your own pathways. You all saved money like crazy even when you all reached the budget that is needed (you never know what could happen!) and the exciting day finally starts off tomorrow with Jacob driving one car while Seoyoon drives the smaller 4-wheel drive. It’s a shame that they couldn’t find a single car for all six of them at a reasonable price but they are all thankful for the opportunity to even share these memories together. 

“Are you all ready for tomorrow?” Your mum peaks in after she knocks on your bedroom door. She was just as excited as you are, seeing how much you worked so hard both at school and your efforts on saving money for the last three years, “Give this to Jaehyun for me as well.”

“Hm?” You took your eyes off your still messy luggage to see, what you assumed to be, a black leather jacket that was folded neatly with a red ribbon wrapped around it; don’t forget the simple small card with his name on it, slipped in the middle of the ribbon. 

“It’s his birthday gift. It was his birthday recently, right?” Your mum’s considerate act made you smile brightly and you jumped up from your knees to give her a tight hug. With your arms around her neck and your neck on her shoulders, you squeal in happiness, “Okay, okay I get it, you love him very much.”

You jump, still in your mum’s arms with your head in the clouds as you picture your loving boyfriend that you will be able to spend time with nonstop for the next four days or so, “I really really do. He’s just so perfect, mum.”

“Yes, yes. I’ve heard this way too much. Now let go of me, child. You need to finish packing.” Your mum rolls her eyes playfully and you know there was a big smile plastered on her own face with the way her words were delivered so clearly.

“Okay, okay.” With a quick kiss on her cheek, your mum disappears to the other side of the door. You let out a sigh of happiness, putting Jaehyun’s gift next to your luggage as you imagined how cute, good, hot, handsom---

“Also,” You jump a bit, hands on your chest when your mum surprised you this time with no further notice of her presence, “stop stealing his clothes.” You just giggle guiltily as her uninteresting eyes direct themselves to your overfilled, messy closet, “One, you already have a lot. Two,” back to your giddy figure, “he’s going to go broke.”

The whole house was sleeping, recharging from their own personal tiring events from the day. You should probably be too as you’ve all planned quite an early morning to get the most out of your holiday together. Instead though, somewhere in the middle of your packing, you couldn’t help but call your boyfriend, “Can you…” 

“Hm?” Jaehyun on the other side of the line was also about to call you earlier and his face lit up when your name popped up on his screen, the familiar and specific ringtone bouncing around his four walls excitedly, “What’s wrong?”

The both of them curled up in their own respective beds with hushed voices full of love and adoration. Their phones were near their own faces as they lay down on their side to face each other’s respective profile pictures on their phones. At first, they wanted to do a video call but Jaehyun adamantly refused as per experience, they would not be able to sleep until about an hour before they were supposed to wake up. As much as you both know that you (probably) shouldn’t be doing that during school times, sitting next to each other during recess and lunch, with your head resting on his shoulder and his on top of yours as you both tried desperately to recharge quickly for the next periods, you both concluded that those late night (early morning) talks have always been worth it.

“Can we just…not sleep tonight?” You offered, your cheeks red as you pulled your blanket further up your face to hide as if Jaehyun could see you over his phone, “And just talk?”

“You know we shouldn’t, bubs.” Jaehyun hums, whispering back to you softly, “Plus we will literally be together for four days.”

“Well,” You grumble, sighing out as you finally voice the rough mathematical sound in your head, “technically less because we won’t be in the same room and then after that, there will be toilet breaks and then we lose milliseconds when we blink our eyes and then we won’t be in the same car as well, which is a big deal and it’s ju---”

“Okay okay, so maybe it’s not for a full ninety-six hours.” Jaehyun’s amused chuckle made you softly smile again, closing your eyes to focus on his comforting voice, “But we should get to sleep now, hm? Let’s just keep the phone on, okay?”

“Ah! I forgot to tell you abou---”

“Bubs.” Jaehyun scolds you playfully. You could make out the grin on his face and the way his eyes form little crescent shapes as you just whine about not wanting to fall asleep yet, “Tell you what.”

“Hm?”

You make out the shuffles from the other side of the line, telling you that Jaehyun is getting into a more comfortable position. This made you kick your legs and squeal into the phone as you knew what he would say next. Jaehyun shakes his head at your obviously delighted response. He sits up on the bed, laying his back on the bed frame. With his phone on his lap, he continued to make his little ‘deal’, “I’ll sing and you sleep.”

“Fine.” You rolled your eyes but the tone of your voice gave away what you truly felt, “Night, Jae.”

“Goodnight, bubs.”

You woke up refreshed, the tune that Jaehyun sang to you last night replaying in your head. You forgot to charge your phone last night so when you said ‘good morning’ and didn’t receive a response back, you were worried that something happened to the other line. Quickly jumping out of bed to reach for your power bank and starting your phone up with a series of impatient ‘come on, come on’, you thought you could beat your boyfriend’s text first.

With a bear and a heart next to his name, your notification showed the ‘good morning, sleepyhead.’ and the ‘beat you to it first, bubs.’

You slap your forehead gently to scold yourself. Forgetting to charge your phone overnight during an overnight phone call isn’t new to you and you made a bet with Jaehyun that the next time it happens (which is, just then), you would be the first one to send him a ‘good morning’ text, beating his unbeatable strike of twenty-three.

“Well, that’s twenty-four now.” The heartwarming feeling spreads through your body again and the smallest things that Jaehyun did made you feel so loved that you felt that you were out of this world.

You plop back down on your bed, stretching your arms out to the ceiling with your phones in your hands as you watch the ‘ringing’ switch to a stopwatch to show the duration of the call, “You beat me.” Jaehyun chuckles through the speaker mode.

“Good morning to you too.” You see the request to turn the voice call into a video call and you pick it up immediately, “Ah, my girlfriend is so pretty in the morning.”

“Lee Jaehyun, stop.” You pull your hair over to hide your face, peeking through the gaps to see him blow a kiss at you. You blew one back, your cheeks still flaring red and warm, “If I look pretty then you’re a masterpiece.”

“As if.” With the new angle of the phone facing towards the ceiling, you observed the way that your boyfriend enters a new room, turning on the lights to start his morning routine. Jaehyun puts his phone against his bathroom mirror but due to his height and the lower table, you can no longer see his face. But you didn’t need to see his face to know what he was going to do. 

Your regular morning and night phone calls served as a kind of ‘get ready for’ something together and it also allowed you both to become more comfortable with each other during your first stages of dating. When you were just friends, these calls weren’t regular and only happened when you both needed to get something off your chests, or maybe rant about a nightmare that you had and needed some comfort. When you both started dating, it naturally became a regular thing you both indulged in, spending hours studying or watching movies together at night and spending your morning hours together before you hung up when you both were back to each other physically.

So you knew very well what Jaehyun was going to do when he let out a loud exhale and plugged his hair straighter into the power plug on the wall where the phone was near, “Straightening your hair?” You didn’t ask this question often. Most of the time you asked is either because you both weren’t currently talking or were too busy in your morning routines.

“Yeah.” He lets out a loud exhale and you observe how his chest leans forward toward the mirror, presumably to take a better look at a part of his hair that is already straightened, "Just…" another sigh, "yeah."

You nod at his words. Turning over to lay on your stomach to be in a more comfortable position, you just watch Jaehyun's arms moving left to right, up and down as he readjusts his hair with the help of his mirror. The series of 'tsk' from the other side of the line made your heart clench and you couldn't help but reassure him, your chin resting on your arm, "I love your curly hair, Jae."

You know how much Jaehyun gets insecure about his natural hair sometimes. The very first time you saw it was when you arrived at Jaehyun's house really early when you both were only friends. He opened the door for you to wait inside but due to his nervousness about unexpectedly having you over and walking to school with you for the first time, he forgot to finish his morning routine.

You remember greeting him with a shy smile and 'good morning' and he didn't even get the chance to say it back because your eyes travelled up to the very different hairstyle he has compared to the one you see at school. No need to say, he shut the door on you and the whoosh of wind left you stunned at the front door for a while.

When he opened the door again, you sweetly smiled at him, complimenting the natural shape of his hair. His worries about you seeing him as different (and possibly in your eyes, ugly) all disappear when you offer to straighten his hair for him.

Lee Jaehyun was a tomato throughout it all, especially when you said you like boys with curly hair. Like, what was he even supposed to do with that information?

"R-Really?" You lift your chin, coming closer to the phone screen when Jaehyun's face comes into view, "I-I just…I look so ba---"

"You look gorgeous." You quickly interrupted and you relaxed when Jaehyun let out a genuine sigh of relief. You took note of how his smile grew and his eyes looked at you thankfully, "I promise."

He retrieves his phone back to his hand and places his now gleaming face in the middle of the screen, "Thank you." He blew a kiss to the screen and you returned the gesture back before finally starting your own morning routine before Seoyoon arrived.

It's only around thirty minutes later when Seoyoon texted her arrival and you scurried down the stairs with all your necessities chaotically, "I think I'll hang up now. Lyla will not let me live otherwise."

"Yep, even though she's the biggest contributor to our relationship." Jaehyun remarks, "See you soon, bubs."

"Love you, see you soon!"

You turned off your phone, pocketed it safely and dropped your luggage in the trunk of the car. Hopping in with an excited feeling, you were quickly attacked with your own words that you said a couple of minutes ago.

"Love you, see you soon!!" Lyla imitates you, a series of eyebrow wiggles and teasing smiles on her face when she turns her body over to face the back seat where you just groan and roll your eyes.

"Hey. You and Jacob aren't any better." Seoyeon defends you swiftly and you poke your tongue out at your now-defeated friend.

"They're so cute, it physically makes me sick." Your backseat partner, Sua comments.

You squint your eyes at her, "I'm not sure whether that's a compliment or not but I'll just accept it and move on." Seoyeon watches her best friend from the rearview mirror, nodding and clicking her tongue in approval while humming in thought, "What?"

"You and Jaehyun are perfect for each other indeed." Seoyoon starts the engine again, turning up the music to a desirable amount for the hour-long trip to the resort.

You blush at that, murmuring to yourself, "He's perfect for sure." 

The holiday just started and it’s already so much better than you expected. While waiting for your gate to open, you pass Jaehyun’s gift from your mum, your boyfriend putting it on straight away despite the warm weather and sending a video message to your mum in gratitude. Lyla also planned a 'little' daily schedule for you all to follow the past few days. The later bloomers were not particularly happy with starting the day at nine and ending it at eleven on the same day and through choruses of opinions, she scrapped the idea and reduced the amount of group activities. You reassured your best friend that you would still do the main things that she wanted to do together and you were satisfied with the way she tackled you down on the bed in happiness. 

Other than that, you all did an awesome job at finding this beach house. The location of the beach house is convenient and with the time of the year, a lot of night markets and activities were planned each day to celebrate the warm season. The area is filled with other couples and not so surprisingly other students who are enjoying their short freedom before they have to bury their whole bodies underneath a pile of books and practice exam papers. 

“We’re finally here!” You all walked out and breathed the minty fresh air and salty sea as you stepped out of the airport, “This is so exciting!” Sua pulls both you and Seoyoon by the waist, squishing you three into a tight hug, “We’re going to have so much fun.”

You chuckle and affirm her words, “But let’s get the car first.”

Jacob points to the familiar plate numbers and along with Seoyoon, figures out the final arrangements, all the terms and conditions before finally attaining the keys from the person in charge.

“Can I---”

“No. You already spent like an hour with him on the flight.” 

Sua gives you a deadpan look and Lyla pushes the girl lightly, “Just let her go. Jaehyun is looking at us with puppy eyes as well. Go with Jacob though, don’t want to see you two being all lovey-dovey.”

“Ew.” Sua throws her head back and jumps out of the hug, “You know what you both go in Jacob’s car. I’m going to go with Younghoon and Seoyoon.”

You took Lyla’s hand with your chin held high, teasing Sua’s look of grimace, “Not a problem with me.” As you were about to grab the handle of your wheel bag in another, Jaehyun ran to your side and beat you to it, giving you a quick kiss on your cheek.

His smirk grew at the way your cheeks grew red at the lingering feeling of his lips, “You weren’t giving me any attention.” Lyla squeals and runs away from you to hug her own boyfriend instead. Still frozen and shy at the unexpected act, you turned your head to the side with raised eyebrows, a gaped mouth and being absolutely speechless, Jaehyun shrugged innocently, “I was getting kind of lonely, bubs.” 

“Lee Jaeh---”

Another kiss this time was given straight to your lips, muffling your complaints.

“Wha---”

Your internal body temperature is rising to be as hot as the summer heat and Jaehyun knew that he needed to cool you down or else you were probably going to murder him for making you so flustered in the middle of the walkway entrance of the airport door. He dips his head down once more to ghost over your plumper lips and before you can say anything else, his palms land softly on both sides of your waist, encasing you in his hold. His thumbs soothe down the sides of your body particularly along your ribs as you gasp from the delicate touch before he dives in to kiss you once more. Your own arms lift and you cross your wrists over on his nape, pulling him closer and responding to the kiss.

You felt nervous as you were out in public, tens of people just walking by or just standing around, but it all dissipated when you felt his breath on your lips. The kiss itself wasn’t heated like some of your other kisses with him but rather sweet and gentle. His lips would hug your lower lips before pulling away a little bit and hug your upper lip instead, relishing the way you would respond to him as a smile grew on both of your faces. He would do those little nudges and brushes with his nose on yours and you giggled as it meant that his playful self appeared to replace his flirty self.

“A bit jealous?” You asked him with your foreheads against each other.

“No.” Jaehyun smiles so widely when you both make eye contact, so much so that his cute little eye wrinkle smile makes its appearance, “A lot.”

That's how Jaehyun showed his love to you throughout the trip. It would also be holding hands whenever you both could, filling up your plate with more food whenever it got empty, making you walk on the inside of the walkway, dropping you off at your room door as if it wasn't just across and a little bit of a turn to his own room with the other boys, reminding you that you're beautiful and that he loves you every day.

Just.

You love this man. So much. With all your heart.

And Jaehyun knows that. From the way you would use your palm to block the side of his face due to the wind, to how you would give him the first bite of your ice cream, reminding him to put more sunscreen and applying it to his face every so often, to the way you sweetly kissed him on the lips as you both rested for the night.

He loves you. So much. With all his heart.

He managed to prove to you that every single day for the past two years you were friends, the past year and a half when he developed a crush on you, and the last year ever since you confessed your feelings to him back after him.

But you see, it's just unavoidable that you would still have those times alone when you would look at your body and feel self-conscious about it. You're human after all. It's normal to have a drop in confidence sometimes but the stereotype of girls in summer with their tanned skin, humongous sunglasses and revealing bikini got to you sometimes.

Your boyfriend is a godsend. It's no secret that girls would crush on him and the boys want to be him. I mean, with that kind heart, sexy brain (and body) and handsome visuals? Seriously, what did you do in your past life to receive this much love from a single person?

"You're not changing?"

Snapping out of your daze from your messy luggage, you could see your three friends all in their own choice of swimsuits and bikinis under their beach towels and robes. Seoyoon stares at you worriedly through her pink sunglasses.

"Um." You try your best to show a genuine smile, "I'll be there, just trying to swallow down that heavy lunch. You guys go on ahead."

You would be stupid if you thought they would believe that. Six years of friendship with a punt lie like that? Absolutely not. But they didn't question you further as you just bit your lower lip, feeling your confidence drop down once more. They know you just wanted to be alone after telling them that you felt sick and that you ate so much after lunch.

This is the part of summer that you hate.

As much as summer does hold a soft spot in your heart, sometimes the reminder that the sun is made out of fire literally made your head hot due to the overthinking that you always did somewhere along the way before you stepped into any type of swimsuit. 

Deciding to succumb to your thoughts for a little bit, you sit down on the edge of the bed in defeat. You look out to see the sun's circumference not too far away from kissing the edge of the ocean and you could feel yourself starting to cry as you tried to push your dark thoughts away.

"Come on." You pleaded with yourself to pick up a swimsuit, any swimsuit, so that you can go meet with the others and watch the sunset together by the beach before you would all need to pack up and go back to reality tomorrow, "Please…" You whimper in desperation.

The balls of your feet step onto the side rail of the bed and you begin to sob, your arms wrapping your abdomen tightly in frustration. The water runs straight down from your eyelashes to your thighs and those droplets eventually make their own path from there as well.

You want to see the sunset as the beach water splashes and hugs your lower body. You want to see the sunset with your friends and your boyfriend together as you maybe do a little water fight against each other. You want to see the sky turn its bright colours to darker hues that signal younger children to turn their devices off and go to sleep. 

You want to do all that so badly.

You released all your pent-up feelings through your tears and the cawing seagulls constantly reminded you that you were running out of time as the circle in the sky would eventually just sink and it would not stop or wait for anyone or anything. You managed to be in a swimsuit on the other previous days. So why now? When this whole little "let's see the sunset together in the water" was your idea. Why? Why why why---

You shouldn't have eaten so much in the last few days, feeling the difference in your stomach but also outside through your own eyes. So still with these burning thoughts and blurry vision, you just close your eyes, shove your hands into your suitcase, and take the first cold elastane fabric in your palms and change into it. Throughout your trip, you would plan your outfits with the help of the full body mirror that was placed behind the door, taking selfies with your friends as you all pulled funny faces together. 

This is the only outfit that the mirror didn't see and the camera did not have save, and you didn’t think anything or anyone could change that. Quickly, you grab an oversized shirt, pulling it over your body to quickly realise that it's one of Jaehyun’s that you stole. You chuckle between your ragged gasps for air, sitting down on the bed again to continue your cries for a bit more. Before you can even hug your body once more, the knock on the door makes you whip your head backwards towards it.

"Bubs? Are you okay?"

You whimper at the familiar voice behind the door and you shake your head, not trusting your ability to answer verbally. Of course, the door isn't transparent and Jaehyun himself is only human too and understandably, your lack of response only makes him worry more.

"Hey…I'm going in alright?" The door clicks open with that and you hurriedly wipe any last bit of tears on your face, running your wet palms along the clothing that covers half of your thighs. You still couldn’t help your sniffles though and it was enough to have the smile on Jaehyun’s face and his soft steps to change quickly, “Hey, hey. What’s wrong?”

You only shook your head in response, your fists clenched the shirt in frustration as you began to drown in your own thoughts as well. Jaehyun kneels down in front of your downcasted head and if you looked up, you would be able to see the sad smile, the way his eyes gaze at you with patience and love. Carefully, his hand reaches out to your now-white fists. His fingers lay on the back of your palm while his palm lays on your knuckles, his thumb soothing the exposed sides of your pointer finger.

He made his presence to you with small, gentle steps from there: tucking your hair behind your ears, making a joke about how he thought he lost the shirt you were wearing, and letting out a harmonious chuckle when you responded to his joke. With time, he even manages to let your hands go off his now crinkled shirt, holding both your hands instead.

"I'm sorry." Is the first word you said when you broke the silence. 

Pouting at that, Jaehyun leans forward to kiss your tired knuckles, "Don't be. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I have…" You whisper guiltily, "We missed the sunset right?"

"Hey, don't you think about that right now, okay?" He shakes his head at your worries, "That's not important. What's important is why you were crying alone and feeling sad about something."

"I'm just---" You sigh exasperatedly. Your eyes haven't met Jaehyun, just taking in the way your hands were between his. The changes in your physical appearance made you so weak and frustrated, "I just don't feel good about my body and you're literally so perfect and I just can't keep up with how perfect you ar---"

"Stop, don't say that about yourself." He lets go of your hands, scooting over and straightening his back. You close your eyes, sniffling once again as you feel your boyfriend's hands cup your cheek, lifting your messy face to him. He wipes the rest of the tears that escape from your eyes with his thumbs, leaning to press kisses on both your eyelids in an attempt to ground you back. 

You open your eyes to see the love hearts that swirl around his eyes freely, the crease between his eyebrows and the somewhat serious face he has on. 

"He's mad at me…" and you bit your lip to contain your assumptions to yourself, scared that Jaehyun would affirm it and want that could result, "Please don't leave me."

"I wo---"

"I'll make myself look better in every way possible, just please give me time."

"Bubs, what are you talking about?" Jaehyun shakes his head at your rant while his head tries to pick up the pieces together to make a sort of confusion, "You're perfect as you are. Don't ever change yourself for anyone. Including me."

"But those girls are so pretty, Jaehyun and you would look so much better with them. Or maybe with me if I was somewhere on their lev---"

"Please look at yourself the way that I see you through my eyes." It was soft, almost like a hush. But you catch the way his lips move when you go on a tangent and you stop yourself from going further.

Jaehyun stands up, making you stand up as well and brings you in for a hug, his hand behind your head and the other around your waist. You let out the rest of your tears on his chest, punching him lightly while your palm pushes your stomach in frustration.

Jaehyun doesn't care about your punches to his chest but he immediately catches your other hand, pulling it away to the side of your body. His hand wraps itself around your wrist tightly, stopping you from pulling it back, "You're gorgeous." His hold on your body tightens as he recites the words that you said to him a few days ago through the latest video chat you both had, "I promise."

"Jaehyun…"

"I don't care about other girls. Who cares about them? When I have such a gorgeous girlfriend inside and out and bonus for me, loves me for who I am?" Jaehyun puts a small distance between his chest and your face, gazing down at you and planting a kiss on your forehead, "Wait here for a bit?"

You nod at the question and he leaves to go to the bathroom. While he left, your eyes went back to the view outside the window and you could predict how much time had passed as the circumference of the sun started to really make contact with the ocean. The guilt settles in again and you curse yourself for ruining the last group event of the whole trip. 

But before you could really drown in the darkness again, Jaehyun stumbles out of the bathroom and you gasp at his wet hair and the darker spots on his shirt due to the water. You walk over to him, your mouth moving in different shapes though no voice was heard.

Jaehyun chuckles at the way you retrieved a towel and laid it on top of his head, beginning to dry his brown hair with circular motions, "Thank you." He takes the towel with one hand, continuing the motions himself while his other arm snakes around your waist to pull you back to his chest.

You rest your chin on his left pectoral, observing the little curls of his hair starting to make its appearance and you smile fondly at how it would disappear underneath the towel and reappear again. When Jaehyun puts the towel around his neck, you couldn't help but reach out to play with one of his curls, trapping the strands between your thumb and pointer and gently tugging it, straightening the strand until the end, only for it to retract back to its formal shape.

"Having fun there?" Jaehyun comments when you do the same action to other strands of his hair. Slowly, a joyful smile comes to your face and he feels relieved at the pretty sight, "Come here for a second."

He led you to stand in front of the mirror and you immediately turned back to hug your boyfriend, scowling at how messy you looked, "I think I just saw a ghost." You complain, hiding your face in his chest. 

"Oh?" Jaehyun gasps out dramatically, "What where? I hate ghosts but I'll protect you!" Just like before, he held you close with both of his fingers intertwining behind your back. 

You both stayed like this for a moment longer. Jaehyun's heartbeat calms you down and you exhale in contentment at the way he starts to sway from side to side slightly. The familiar scent of your shampoo, unknown to you, makes him feel the same calmness as well as he faces his insecurity head-on through the mirror.

You took notice of how Jaehyun's body felt a bit tense compared to how it was with your last hug. From the lower side angle, you can see the way that his jaw tenses at the look that the mirror is giving him, gulping at his own reflection. Turning your body around to face the mirror, still within his hold, you ignore how much you hate your own reflection, staring at your boyfriend's eyes instead.

Too deep in his thought, you rest your forearms on top of his, this time your palms on top of his like how he did before, "Love your hair, Jae."

You can see the slight flinch when your voice pulls him back to reality. You blush when he dips his chin down to your shoulder, whispering his own words to your ears, "Love your body, bubs."

The mirror showed the couple's full body, including the parts of themselves that they each hated the most. But the mirror also showed the both of them together as they embraced and basked in each other's love, reminding the other that their insecurities were valid but that they still love the other the same way. 

You realise that when Jaehyun washed out his hairspray, using a towel to dry his hair to make his natural hair come back instantly. You realised once again that Jaehyun is truly in love with you, so patient and so kind with your journey and the smile that grew on your lips which each realisation made Jaehyun blush and bury his face onto the crook of your neck.

You remind yourself internally at this moment, as you face yourself straight into the mirror, "I'm enough and I'm gorgeous." And the deep inhale of the cold but warming air that enters your lungs, untangles Jaehyun's hands and with no pressure, places itself on your clothed stomach. He presses a kiss on the underside of your jawline, whispering sweet nothings to you.

You turn your head to face him this time, not through the mirror, the tips of your noses together, your eyes closed and your mind at peace, "Thank you."

"No, thank you." A shake of his head and a kiss on your lips, "For loving me and treating me like I’m perfect."

“You’re perfect in my eyes.”

“Took the words right out of my mouth.”

You were able to watch the upper half of the sunset with your friends at the beach. Seoyoon, Lyla and Sua could see the tranquillity on your face and they looked at each other, sending nods, knowing that you were fine and doing okay now. Just as you wished, you were able to fully feel the salty water around your entire body, leaving the oversized shirt somewhere on the big volume of sand behind you.

All of you know that this trip was way better than you had expected. It would be a trip that you would talk about and look back on for the rest of your life. It's a summer memory that you will hold on to not only because all your hard work in your jobs paid off, or your first trip with all your friends and boyfriend without supervision, or how Jaehyun loves you dearly.

This summer taught you that you love the people in your life right now and how fast time goes by as you surround yourself with them.

This summer gave you confidence that you will be able to go back and study more when you're back and pursue whatever it is that you want.

This summer taught you that you're enough as you are and that you should be kinder towards every part of yourself, to treat your body for going through all the hardships that life has given you.

This summer also made you fall in love with Lee Jaehyun deeper and you are sure that your relationship will grow further and stronger from now on.

You can't wait for the new things you'll learn next summer but that's something for later. For now, as the sun continues to set further and you all run back to land to set up a group photo with the scene as the background, you envelop yourself within the bounds of Jaehyun's arms.

"Love you." You quickly kiss him before turning back around to pose for the camera.

"Love you more." He squishes in audibly before the camera snaps.

Oh, how you'll remember this summer.

tags: @deoboyznet 📢❤️

[02:04] | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun (hyunjae) x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers (mentioned from backstory!), non-idol au! established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, slight angst (?), ​husband hyunjae, he's super patient and understanding, hurt/comfort, wedding vows (it's so cute, i love it) » WORD COUNT: ​3743 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~14 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of pregnancy, insecurities, mentions of a broken family/childhood (reader's side), proofread once

my second timestamp story! thank you for all the love on the first one! (pst! it's sunwoo! 🦝) hopefully, this one lives up to your expectations! (if there are any uwu). sorry for my weird, unscheduled, random posting times > <

shoutout to my mum who (i bet) went through a lot to make sure i would grow up well. thank you for always reminding me that you don't regret having me and loving me with all your being. love you mumma! 💗

navi/masterlist!!

You remembered when you tucked yourself into bed alone after reminding Jaehyun to come to bed soon. He was so close to finishing his work that you didn’t want to force him out of his zone, understanding that he would feel more peaceful if he finished it sooner even if it meant ruining his internal body clock a little bit for it.

Opening your eyes and taking a deep breath in the calming darkness, you smiled at the arm that rested across your now flat stomach. During your whole pregnancy stages, especially when that wicked pregnancy pillow put a physical barrier between you and your loving husband, he would at least reach out and hold your hand (or particularly your stomach bump), a huge downgrade from how his chest would completely be on your back and he hushes you asleep with his soft snores. 

You knew as soon as you turned your head to the right that Jaehyun managed to finish his work, a neutral smile on his face as compared to the slight pout and the subtle crease between his eyebrows as he sometimes grunts in his sleep from the past few days. An affectionate gaze falls upon your eyes when Jaehyun grunts and scoots over to your side of the bed, his unconscious mind telling him to move closer to his wife after he throws the pillow away to the other side of the room in excitement as soon as your new family arrived home three days ago. You chuckle at the way his right hand past the top of your stomach to hook your waist and pull you closer to him. Now half awake, Jaehyun made himself comfortable by burrowing his nose and lips into the crook of your neck and you immediately looked up towards the ceiling to let him do so.

A satisfied hum comes out from the man beside you, “This is nice.” He brushes the warm skin of your neck with his colder nose and his soft lips press multiple kisses from your jawline to your right shoulder.

“Jae.” You chuckle at his playful nature, “Go back to sleep, hm? You have work tomorrow.”

Jaehyun groans at the grim reminder. He’s been at home ever since you came back home, using up some of his leave days to take care of you and your newborn child. He was about to use it all but you stopped him, convincing him that you’re able to take care of yourself and your child, moreover to save those days in case a ‘real’ emergency does occur. Every day and every moment, you look at your husband who you treasure so much and you can’t help but think about how much you love this man with all your heart, mind and soul.

“Don’t remind me of that, bubs.” Finally opening his eyes, he relied on the subtle moonlight that seeped through your curtains and looked at your side view with ‘that’ gaze. 

‘That’ gaze that reminds you every day that you’re worth it for you. ‘That’ gaze that he kept even after ten years of meeting each other. ‘That’ gaze that was plastered on his face when he went down on one knee to propose to you. ‘That’ gaze that was present when he read his wedding vows and wiped the tears on your face when you read yours. ‘That’ gaze (mixed with immense happiness and excitement) when you told him you were pregnant. 

It holds many meanings and you were sure that the list would continue, building from all the blessed experiences so far.

Only chuckling at the way that he pouts cutely at you, you turn your body to face him, creating a small gap between you both as you press a peck on his lips, “Thank you for using your leave days to take care of us.”

“Of course, I would.” Jaehyun shook his head slightly to validate his point, “You both are my whole world. I can’t afford to lose you or baby.” It was the way that your eyes slightly pooled with tears that he replaced the pout and shushing the soft whimpers that left your now shaky lips, “Hey…what’s wrong?”

Your once small cries amplified drastically and Jaehyun’s eyes widened in shock, quickly pulling you into his embrace. He slips his left hand under your neck, bringing your tear-stricken face into his chest as you sob in his arms. Jaehyun comfortingly whispers sweet nothings into your ear, patting your head and pressing occasional kisses on your forehead. You stayed wordless for a while, enjoying the company and how close your entire body could be now after you gave birth.

“Catch your breath. I’ll be right here.” Jaehyun reminds you between your tired gasps for air, “I’ll always be here next to you, waiting for you, loving you more and more with each passing day.”

You couldn’t do anything but just nod, your heart melting at the sincere words, “I’m scared.”

“Of what, bubs?”

“Like,” You started, audibly voicing out the thoughts that have been swarming and eating you alive inside and out, “what happens if I mess up?”

It isn’t the first time that you had this kind of conversation. The very first time was when the adrenaline from your system was drained after announcing that positive pregnancy test to Jaehyun. You voiced out your worries as an upcoming parent, worried that you would accidentally pass down your problems, anxiety and worries to your child. Out of everything you want the most in the world, all you want is for your children to grow up without your traumas and problems affecting them because that’s not the kind of life that they deserve. Of course, that’s unrealistic. Children are indeed a slight depiction of their parents and how they would act around other people outside the family says a lot about how their parents raised them.

You can just imagine a situation where your anxiety takes over, you crouch down to be eye level with your extremely young child, giving them a lecture about what they should or shouldn’t do, extending that talks to both extreme sides of ‘what if’s and how they should just be more careful, less daring and---

“Jae, promise me that you’ll make sure she doesn’t grow up like me.” It was a desperate plea, almost as if you would walk out of their lives in the next second. The anxiety completely took over your body as you clenched Jaehyun’s shirt in your fist as a physical response, looking up at him desperately and Jaehyun’s eyebrows crashed together, “She doesn’t deserve that, Jae. Those silent cries, hating everyone around me, feeling like no one loved me and wanting to just end---”

“Don’t.” It was stern yet it still held a lot of patience and love. Jaehyun smiles sadly at the words that he has heard multiple times but even so, he would never stop reminding you of all the things he loves about you. He would never stop hugging you, holding your body and pulling you towards him, giving you all his love and company, “Don’t say that about yourself when you’re the reason why I wake up happy every day, bubs.”

“But Jae---”

“You know,” He whispers into the silent yet wavering night. Jaehyun takes a deep inhale of the air, tilting his head to rest his chin on the top of your head, “I was so scared of losing you as time went on.”

You calmed down, shutting your eyes as you focused on his heartbeat to pull you back to the present time. Jaehyun just smiles at the slightly open door of your room and he reminds himself of his newborn child on the other side of their bedroom door. When you hummed confusingly at his words, your husband just nodded, “Why were you scared?”

“Well,” If it wasn’t for the fact that your face was hidden into his collarbone, you would be able to see the blushing mess that Jaehyun was. A deep red blush was on his face, spreading to his ears; but you did feel the warmth on his neck as you kissed his skin delicately and it made Jaehyun more of a mess, “of course if it didn’t work out and you didn’t feel the same way, it would become awkward and even though we were such close friends, I knew that if I was rejected, I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you anymore. I really could’ve lost you.”

You never really knew this about Jaehyun. Whenever you asked about the day that he confessed to you to be his girlfriend, he only talked about his plans and how your mutual friends all pushed him to confess to you. You also told him about how the same mutual friends pushed you to confess back to him, yet you were a coward that you became used to telling yourself that if you ever ended up with Jaehyun, it would only hinder him in life; because who would love a broken girl when they could love a perfect one instead?

And so when he confessed, asked for a chance and promised to love you dearly after two years of mutual pining, you didn’t realise that time flew by so quickly that on the sixth year when Jaehyun kneeled and asked for your hand in marriage two years ago, a sudden hit of ‘reality’ (or so you called it) crashed into you. 

You really did find love when you thought for the longest, most tiring and hardest times when you didn’t think anyone would love you as you are. Seriously, how could anyone love you when you were still so stuck between believing and convincing yourself that you are enough? 

“I knew I had to take a chance,” Jaehyun continues his thoughts, “because when I closed my eyes and realised that if I didn’t at least try to make you mine, you might just completely slip from my life. Selfishly as well, I didn’t want to see you smiling in another person’s arms and kissing that person every time you wake up and go to sleep.”

The thought of you two doing just that ever since you moved in together five years ago suddenly made you blush and you couldn’t help but let out a string of complaints. Jaehyun just laughs (and quietly lets out a sigh of relief) when you finally release his shirt, wrapping your small hands around his bigger build instead, “I’m sorry that I didn’t realise that you went through all that.”

“No, it’s alright.” He reassures you again for the nth time in the last hour, “I have you now. You are all I ever wanted.” Pulling away and reaching to cup your wet cheeks, his thumbs swipe your almost dry cheek, offering you that familiar warmth that only he could give, “It’s all worth it in the end.”

“Really?” Another tear managed to slip out of your eyes and you couldn’t help but stare at him apprehensively as the devil inside your mind managed to manipulate your thinking, “I’m such a high-maintenance person, Jae…I really wouldn’t blame you if you wake up one day and decide to just…” He shakes his head throughout your small speech, knowing the similar words that you would say to him once in a while, “leave…” It came out quieter than you thought, maybe because he already knew anyway, hence saying it again and again, the red-horned creature in your mind rejoices as your childhood traumas reminded you of how worthless you are to the world.

Usually at this time, Jaehyun would rebut your words immediately but the silence had your heart dropping and for a while, you thought that you had taken the words out of his mouth. Jaehyun kept his tired stare and suddenly you were aware of your dry mouth as you waited for any sort of words from your husband. He removes the hand that was on your cheek, reaching behind to grab his device from the bedside table, “Hold on, okay?”

For a second, you really thought this was it for the both of you. During these moments of much-needed comfort, Jaehyun has always given you his undivided attention but now as the blue light reflects on his squinting eyes, you couldn’t help but let the tears flow down your eyes once again. Did he finally give up on me? Were the only thoughts that swarmed your mind as you watched how his thumb scrolled and colours reflected on the smooth surface of his dewy skin, “Jae?” Time made you desperate for a response and you were about to clench on his shirt again when he let out a small ‘aha’ and played the video on his phone.

You recognised the scene on his phone immediately without looking. The familiar scene, cheers, whooping and excitement radiating off the background noises had you sobbing again. Jaehyun sets the volume, puts his phone back on the bedside table and gives you his attention again, “My mum was sorting videos on her phone when she came across this and sent it to me.” He presses a comforting kiss on your lips and calms your shaking body, “I’m sure you remember this right?”

You just nod and Jaehyun pulls your face into his chest once again, letting the sound from the video consume you both into your worlds.

“As soon as you stepped into those classroom doors, all eyes were on you and undoubtedly mine too.” You were already starting to tear up just from the first few sentences, “Ah…I only just started…” You scanned your next words, just sniffling from the longer sentences that you didn't know how to not cry to while the audience let out words of encouragement and small laughs. 

Your soon-to-be husband steps towards you, kissing the side of your head, “Should I go first?”

“Do you mind?” You laugh, feeling embarrassed. 

“Not at all.” Jaehyun takes out his paper from his suit, taking the microphone from you, “I already knew this would happen guys.” He announced to the audience and you rolled your eyes jokingly, “Ok…I’ll start.”

You knew very well that your eye makeup was most probably ruined and you looked some sort of a mess at the moment so you couldn’t help but stare down at the floor. Jaehyun gives you a quick kiss on the crown of your head, swooning the audience with his romantic gesture making him chuckle before clearing his throat and starting his vows.

“I remember the day I walked into that classroom on my first day of school. No doubt, I didn’t want to be there. Not just at that school or at that classroom: I just didn’t want to be in Seoul. The sudden move because of my dad’s work made me leave all the memories I had in Incheon in a month and as an innocent young child who was already happy with everything, I didn’t want to leave.

Alas, even my mother told me we had to go and that’s when I knew that moving was inevitable. School work was already hard as it was and I had to move to a big city where I knew no one, having to start all over again from the ‘Hi. My name is Lee Jaehyun. I hope we’ll get along well.’ really made me reach the peak of my mood swings during puberty.”

Jaehyun alternates his eye contact between you and the audience who reacts to the groom with happiness, and laughter as some of his closest friends give him encouraging, funny body language. He points them out and the said friends complain whilst the audience just laughs at the group of boys on the side of the stage. However, it was how you finally raised your head and laughed along that made Jaehyun join in as well.

“For the first few weeks, I didn’t make an obvious effort to fit in. As you know, I joined clubs and did after-school activities. Studying was still my priority at this point but even that became so mundane and boring that I crashed and burnt out after a while. But maybe, the burnout was just what I needed because that was how I first met you. Had I not cried in the corner of the library in the ironically ‘health and wellbeing’ section, would you have even spoken to me? Would you have crouched down and tapped on my shoulder to ask if I was okay? Would you have sat down next to me silently as you read your book, waiting for me to answer your question?

The answer is: yes. Or at least I would like to believe so.

Why? Because no one will fully ever understand how much I love you. Maybe if it wasn’t that day in the library, I would’ve met you later. How much later, nobody knows and nobody will ever know because I’m about to marry that girl who made my day so much better in the library. But what I do know is that no matter when, where, why or how we would’ve met, I would have still fallen in love with your smile, your pout, your laugh, and the way you cutely complain about how I mess up your bubble tea order,” Jaehyun gives you a cheeky smile and you just scoff with a smile on your face, “the way you would cry in my arms when you had a bad day, the way you would drop everything when I have a bad day, the way you would try your best to stay awake until I’m done with my other priorities. 

But bubs, I hope you’ll always know that you’ll forever be my first, most top priority.

Even as we fight, cry and shout at each other words that we don’t mean, I hope you’ll always be able to go to sleep thinking that I’ll still love you. I’ll still be right by your side when your insecurities come by and pass. I’ll always remind you that you’ll always be enough no matter what you do. Your best will always be enough and I hope I’ll always be that person who can be your safe, happy place.”

No doubt now that you’re sobbing and when you look at your parents sitting down not far from the stage, your heart does clench a bit as you’re reminded of your childhood. Seeing them cry over Jaehyun’s words does seem a little bit strange to you as they never really minded your words whenever you were struggling with life. But then you remind yourself of what Jaehyun said to you a few seconds ago.

“I know for sure that you’ll always be enough for me.” Jaehyun continues, taking your mind off your parents as he looks at you understandingly, “I love you and I know I’ll continue to love you until the day I take my last breath. I’ll take care of you even when you’re not sick or feeling well, cherish all of you and be there for you even after death because I love you so much, sweetheart.”

The recording ended there and Jaehyun relished in the way that your body stopped shaking, your arms around his waist securely and your breathing back to normal. He knows instantly that you feel better just from those small actions. He also didn’t miss the smile that grew on your face even though you were literally cuddled up against his body, “So,” the deep whisper from your husband only made you push your face even further up his body, now burying your face into his collarbone, “I just want to tell you that she will grow up beautifully just like her mother. Also, we’ll get through this together. Parenting isn’t supposed to be a one-person job after all.”

Nodding and burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck, you appreciate the way his words reminded the devil in the back of your head as it stomps off in defeat. The words supported the angel that finally won and it replaced the red creature, kicking the red light away to replace your body with a calming, soothing feeling that soon takes over your whole body, “I love you, Jae.”

“I love you too.” The warmth of the night overpowered the chilly night and the two of you held each other so lovingly that the weight of your eyelids eventually became too heavy for you to hold. Jaehyun waits patiently until sleep fully takes over you, fighting his yawn from escaping his mouth. Quietly, he just continued to stroke your exposed waist delicately, kissing your lips one last time before reminding you once more, “Always.”

It’s all very fortunate that your mind is now at ease and that you both were able to sleep after. But parenting duties call about half an hour later when cries are heard from the other side of the house and both your eyes open instantly. You were the first one to untangle your body from Jaehyun and you looked over to your husband who was still stirring himself awake again for the second time of the night as you both sat up on the bed, “I’m sorry.” You kiss him on the lips, cradling the back of his head and pushing his chest back down on the bed, “I’ll get her. Get back to sleep, Jae.”

“No no, I’ll go.” You disapprovingly groan at your husband who managed to push his sleepiness aside and sit up once again, his head hanging down in exhaustion, “Wha---bubs.” Instantly, you pushed him back down on the bed, pulling the blanket over up until his chin.

You adamantly tell your husband to try and go back to sleep. Jaehyun fakes his nod and closes his eyes, an idea popping up in his head as he plots to joke around with his wife. When you swing your legs over to the side of the bed, ready to stand up once more, Jaehyun quickly hugs you from behind, pressing a kiss on the back of your ear where you’re the most ticklish and sensitive. 

You froze at his actions and even though his sleepy voice was still evident, you could also hear all the love that he could offer you in this world with his playful tone, “Race you there, bubs.”

Jaehyun called in sick the next day.

navi/masterlist!!

tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️

thank you peony!!

Pairing: Enemy!Hyunjae x GN!Reader

Genre: Angst and fluff

Warning(s): Hyunjae is a meanie butt, swearing

Word count: 2.2k

Summary: Hyunjae, your sworn enemy always made it his goal to show off his achievements to your detriment. Now that you were working at rival companies he suddenly softens seeing you struggle, but why?

A/n: Hi Izzy! Thank you so much for placing your order with Hyungseos-cafe! I really enjoyed writing this and I hope you enjoy reading!!!

Order for @from-izzy

┊⋆ ˚✯✩. Songs to listen to while reading: Paris in the rain - Lauv, Hold my hand - LeeHi, Song for love - Lyn .✩✯⋆ ˚ ┊

Taglist: @deoboyznet

“Why don’t you go bother someone your own size” You would tell Hyunjae, today was your essay, yesterday it was your presentation. Every day Hyunjae would find something to point out to you, how did he always find something you lacked? No clue, what you knew was he was a perfectionist. You were the same, always double, even triple checking your work before turning things in. Your outfit, always pressed and steamed with not a hair out of line. 

Things were pretty rocky throughout college, why? Hyunjae. Always told you when he got a higher score than you. He felt the need to one up you, to do better, be better than you. He had this ego surrounding him that never allowed him to back down when it came to you. It was unfortunately, really to always have to do well. 

“No, but you don’t understand! Who starts a thesis with a question? You don’t do that!” Hyunjae sighed, his temples ached 

“This is a draft for fucksakes Hyunjae! This paper is not even due til the end of next month!” 

“That’s besides the point! Start with a quote or some sort of statistic, not a question” 

That’s how it always went for you, argument after argument. It was hardly ever cordial between the two of you. You were best friends, so what happened? Your parents were worried seeing how stressed you’d become after talking about Hyunjae.

“Why don’t you just ask him what’s wrong rather than trying to gnaw each other's heads off?” Your parents suggested, but it was never that easy when it came to Hyunjae. 

“You guys don’t understand, he won’t give me a minute of his day to let me question him! He always tries to show how right he is” You tried to explain to your parents, they continued to look at you with concern before completely dropping the subject. Your parents loved Hyunjae, they were best friends with his parents since they too also met in college. 

As your college career slowly came to an end, your relationship with Hyunjae continued to sour. It got so bad once that you had to leave campus and drive the hour back home just to get away from him. He blew up on you for not returning his messages and calls because he knew you had a big test coming up. He wanted to see how you were doing, but instead of answering, you ignored him for the entire day. He was worried sick, but what he didn’t know was that you were in fact studying and just happened to lock your phone to avoid distractions. Unfortunately that “excuse” did not work on him and instead he began berating you, calling you forgetful and inconsiderate. 

That was the last string, you broke down and promptly left his sight as you cried all the way to your dorm. It took Hyunjae until graduation to apologize, but by that time it was too late. You had moved out and cleaned your dorm before graduation and stayed with a friend who lived off campus. This time, you blocked his phone number so he wouldn’t be able to contact you. 

Truthfully he felt bad and wanted to fix your friendship, but he slowly began to think he’d deserved the silent treatment after blowing up on you like that. He tried many times during the graduation prep to get you by yourself, however your other friends knew of your situation and kept him away. Hyunjae was heartbroken and angry at himself for getting so carried away that he pushed you two apart. 

Flash forward a few years after gaining some experience volunteering and interning, you were ready to enter the workforce. After hundreds of applications and many interviews later, you were accepted into one of the largest sales marketing companies in the city; Maverick Inc. Being that you were still new, you had to work your way to being an executive sales representative. Of course it was grueling work, but it all paid off because you finally got the raise that you've worked so hard for. 

However everything slowly went downhill when you got word from your manager that a certain someone was hired at the competing marketing company; C.O.D.E Inc. and got his raise two months before you even though you’ve been working at your company for longer. It had been so long that you forgot about Hyunjae, but seeing that he continued to rise above you angered you. Couldn’t he have left some success for you instead of stealing the spotlight?

C.O.D.E Inc. was conveniently located down the block from your building which meant there was a chance for you to run into each other during your lunch breaks. Unfortunately that time came all too soon when you got in line behind him for coffee. 

“Well, look who it is. Are you visiting?” He snided, a smirk plastered on his face 

“I work at Maverick Inc. thank you very much” 

“Wait, like you actually made it?”

It was your turn to order, so as to not blow up at the poor barista, you quickly placed your order and stepped out of line to wait. 

“Yes. Where are you working”

“C.O.D.E Inc. I just got a promotion too. My manager said I’m on the fast track to becoming an executive”

“Wait, already? Didn’t you just start there like 6 months ago?”

“What, are you jealous that you didn’t make it as far as me? With your grades I don’t know how you even got your position” 

You were fuming at this point, what gave him the right to speak with you like that? You hurriedly went to grab your order and ran out of the coffee shop. Again, Hyunjae knew he blew it. You meant everything to him, yet he couldn’t keep you close. Why? He thought being mean to you would help quell the love he felt for you. 

You were the apple of his eye and truth be told, his heart raced when he ran into you at the coffee shop. You were always put together, not a hair out of place and walked with a certain confidence he’d only dream of having. 

The next day, he ran into you again at the cafe. This time however, you seemed distressed. Your hair in disarray, clothes wrinkled with various coffee mugs lining your table, so many cups the baristas began to worry. He noticed you had dark circles beginning to form under your eyes. 

“Hey, are you okay?” Hyunjae gently questioned, afraid that if he spoke too loud you’d run off. 

Instead of answering, you slowly nodded as you carried on typing up the final sales report for the quarter. Sensing you were lying, he pulled out next to you and took a seat, offering you a smile as you pushed your mugs to the side making room for him.

“What are you working on?” Hyunjae inquired, looking over to your screen.

“Why do you suddenly care?” 

“You didn’t answer my question”

“I’m working on the quarterly sales report that I was assigned at the last minute. It’s due in 3 days and I’m not even halfway done” You pushed your laptop forward and put your hands in your hands. The stress is evident with how tense your shoulders became. Slowly you started to slump into the table, falling asleep. 

Hyunjae took the opportunity to grab your laptop to see how far you’ve gotten so far with the report. In the 6 months that he’s worked for his company, he’s had to write many monthly reports. Noticing that you were 40 pages into your 100 page report, he used this time to let you rest while he finished your report. Writing reports was one of the tasks he liked the most about his job, not the arguing with clueless executives over trivial matters.

Instead of going home as he’d been excused early, he stayed at the cafe writing your report until it was complete. As soon as he’d finished writing, he noticed you began to wake up. He quickly closed your laptop and began working on his own, carefully breathing to slow his heart. 

“Y– you’re still here?” You asked, sleepiness laced in your voice 

“Yeah, I’m not letting you sleep here all alone. Besides, the cafe is almost closing” 

“Oh, thank you for staying with me” You smiled, stretching out before getting up to gather your items. 

“See you around Hyunjae” 

“See you around” 

The next day, you sat in shock, your report was complete. It wasn’t your work though because who on earth writes this elegantly, yet so succinct? There was only one person… Hyunjae. You didn’t have any time to think before submitting the report. Your manager was blown away by how well you had written, gave you a raise due to your efforts knowing you worked on short notice.

“I am so pleased by your work, the report was most pleasurable to read. Thank you for providing me with our group numbers on short notice. As I have seen you working hard, I will be giving you a promotion and a raise. Since our office will be closing due to renovations, the company will be off for a month. Enjoy your break and thank you for your work and time” The email read, you sat at your desk in pure shock. Hyunjae wrote your entire report for you, earning you not only a promotion, but also a raise. 

There was a chance you’d run into him at the cafe, so every day for the next few weeks you showed up at the cafe sitting at the same table you’d sat at last time. You never saw him until one day when you were about to give up. 

“Oh, you’re here” Hyunjae quipped, he smiled at you for the first time in a while 

“Hey! I uh, I wanted to thank you”

“For what?” Hyunjae knew, but he wanted you to say it.

“For finishing my report, I only knew because only you could write so well. And guess what? That report earned me a raise and a promotion!” 

“Are you serious? That’s amazing! I’m so proud of you” 

“Thank you Hyunjae, how can I repay you?”

“Adatemaybe” Hyunjae spat out 

“A what?” He blushed, shy that his feelings got the best of him. 

“A date” Hyunjae whispered, he began biting his lower lip, nervous you’d reject him. 

“Why all of a sudden?” You questioned him and considering how he’s been talking to you, you were confused. 

Hyunjae sat you down at the closest table which happened to be at the very back of the cafe. His eyes began darting around to the surrounding tables and brought his hands down to tap his thighs, he nervously cleared his throat before meeting your eyes. 

“I thought I would explain myself and please just listen okay? It’s kind of a lot” You nodded as you turned to put your full attention on him. 

“I realized pretty late that I actually enjoy being around you and I know. I should have realized back in college, but I was too busy trying to be better than you. In doing so, I really just pushed you away along with my feelings for you– which began in college. The very first day you walked in Mr. Moon’s business literature class, I knew I had to talk to you. We became friends, right? We were so close our first year, but then I realized I actually liked you” 

Hyunjae paused, the air suddenly leaving his throat seeing the sun settle gently across your face. Your features soften under the warm golden rays, the way your hair was slightly messy to your smile. 

“Anyways, sorry. I just. I didn’t know how to make it up to you, so I wrote your report for you. You know how much I enjoy writing, so it came pretty easy and plus you do a great job recording data which made my job easy. All I really needed to do was explain the data, input all the data and that was pretty much it. I hope you were okay with that and I didn’t over step” He exhaled, looking at your eyes, his face calmed and a warm smile slowly forming. 

“Wow Hyunjae, I don’t know what to say”

“You don’t need to say anything, I can just leave” He began to stand up when you held onto his wrist, there was a tingling sensation felt by the both of you. 

“Don’t go” Hyunjae softened by your touch, this time sitting on the chair next to you. 

“I cannot thank you enough for finishing that report. I’m sure you probably could tell how stressed I was, but turned out okay because you were looking out for me. So to that, I am forever grateful. 

I literally got a promotion and raise because of you” 

“Wait, are you serious? That’s incredible!” You leaned onto his shoulder as you smiled, interlocking your fingers, smiling up at him. 

 “Also if that date offer still stands, I’d like to accept” 

“Really?”

“I mean my office is going under construction and I have a month off, so yes”

He met your eyes again before pressing a soft kiss on your forehead. The two of you sat in conversation until the cafe closed about what you two would be doing for your month-long break and how you could help him collect data for his next report.  You really were his kryptonite, he just never told you.

posting it here because my honey bee said this was specifically written for me 🥺

Fell in love all over again (Lee Jaehyun)

Warnings/genre: pure fluff, established relationship, making out, the reader overthinks for a while, Hyunjae is the cutest at the end, comfort (?)

Word count: 1423

Sana: hello..um my Valentine’s Day fic but very late so meh. I was studying for my exams and shit. Tbh it was originally supposed to be for Jacob but he did not fit the vibes and this was also sitting in my drafts for a while so yeah. Anyways this is dedicated to my @from-izzy (don’t divorce me lmao) love you <3 and thank you to @astrae4 for beta reading 🥺. Love you hon 🥰

Tagging: @cloverdaisies @kimsohn @mosviqu @hyungseos-cafe @strayed-quokka @deoboyznet

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Sitting down at the table, you looked around the place, it was a place you would always dream about.

A huge hall with a chandelier in the middle— which was full of diamonds making it shine brightly. You let out a small laugh of content when you notice the ring on your finger.

Never would you have imagined that you would get married to the person you spent seven years of your life with.

You have known Hyunjae since you were in highschool and up until now. And he had managed to prove himself that he was the one for you countless times.

The day you felt alone and needed comfort, he was there for you with a tub full of ice cream and a night full of cuddles as he listened to you talk about your feelings; how you would sometimes just get the feeling of being alone as if no one was on your side and you were left to fight your battles all alone.

But he was there to prove you wrong. To tell you that even though you felt as if you were alone he would always be there by your side with open arms. No matter what happens, he always got your back.

That was also the time when you were damn sure that he was gonna be the man you would want to get married to. No one else would be able to have your heart like he has.

The day you got into your dream university, he was there to celebrate it with you. Even when you doubted yourself about not being worthy enough he made himself clear that you’re in fact one of the people who truly deserve that spot because of your hard work.

You look around the place once more and you could suddenly feel your heart sinking, what if this was not the right thing to do?

You could feel your hand start to shake. All you wanted to do at that very moment was to get up and just storm out of the place, but you were afraid to do that.

It was Valentine’s Day and Hyunjae prepared all of this just for you only to see you storm out like that. You did not want to seem ungrateful so you tried to calm yourself down but the more you pondered about your future the more anxious you got.

From the corner of your eyes you noticed hyunjae walking back to the table. Taking a deep breath in you tried to look normal but as the time passed by, every passing second felt like hours.

Placing your hand under the table you kept your other hand over it in hope that it would stop shaking but it was of no use.

Looking up you observed as Hyunjae took a seat in front of you. Giving you a small smile he poured you a glass of champagne and raised his to make a toast with you.

Holding the glass in a tight grip you clink your glass with his as you take a small sip from it, “Happy Valentine’s Day love. I hope you like what I prepared for us.” Hyunjae says with a soft smile playing on his lips as he takes a sip of champagne from his own glass.

Passing him a small smile you anxiously look around the place, not having it in you to look him in the eye. You knew how happy he was and you did not want to ruin this moment with him just because of what you were feeling.

You knew thinking so ahead in the future was stupid but what could you do? Your habit of overthinking always got the best of you…

“Are you okay?” You snap out of your thoughts when you hear Hyunjae’s voice. Looking back at him you nod your head slightly but you notice how his eyes searched for yours.

You could see the slight flicker in them as he placed his glass of champagne back on the table. Standing up he forwarded his hand towards you as he waited for you to take his hand in yours.

Without any questions asked you grab his hand in yours as you stand up from your seat, “Do you trust me?” Hyunjae asks as he walks towards the exit with his hand hooked with yours.

Giving him a small nod you continue walking with him, “What about the food though?” You ask softly as you stop on your tracks which made him halt in his tracks to turn around and face you.

“Don’t worry. We can come back later, I cannot let you go back home empty stomach now, can I?” Hyunjae says with a grin on his face as he drags you towards his car.

Opening the backseat door he lets you enter the car first as he himself enters once he’s sure that you’re comfortable sitting in the seat.

“What’s wrong, hmm?” Hyunjae asked softly as he tangled his hands in your luscious hair. Pushing the strands of hair behind your ear, he slowly made his fingers come to your forehead as he applied slight pressure on them to give you a massage.

Closing your eyes at his actions you let your head rest against the seat as you take in deep breaths to calm your heart down, “I don’t know, aren’t we too young to get married? What if something goes wrong? I don’t want to lose you..” you tell him, your voice barely above a whisper as you slowly look towards Hyunjae who continues to stare at you with his soft gaze.

“No, I don’t think we’re too young. We’re both financially stable at the moment and I believe in the fact that nothing would go wrong. Our love is strong enough for that sweetheart..” he says as he gently pulls you closer towards him in the backseat of the car.

Resting your head against his chest you close your eyes as you listen to his heartbeat, “Promise me that you won’t leave me alone? Ever..” you whisper with your face buried in his chest as Hyunjae continues to stroke your hair in a gentle manner.

“I promise I will never leave you alone. Ever..” he says as he brings his hand towards your chin and makes you look up.

Leaning down he slowly attaches his lips on yours, sitting up straight you tangle your hands in his soft curly hair as you pull on them while Hyunjae continues to kiss you.

You could feel your heart come up in your throat as he continued to kiss you, his hands wrapping around your waist as he pulled you closer towards him if that was even possible.

Pulling away, you gasped for air as you noticed the string of saliva which was connecting you both together, an indication of the intense makeup session you just had. Staring into his eyes you leaned closer towards him once again as you gave his nose a light peck.

Nuzzling his face in the crook of your neck, Hyunjae smiled as hugged your figure closer to his warm embrace, “I think I just fell in love with you all over again..” Hyunjae mumbled in the crook of your neck. His voice sends vibrations throughout your whole body as you give out a small laugh at his words.

“Every minute of the day makes me fall in love with you even more if you’re wondering..” you tell him while playing with his hair.

You don't even know when you sat on his lap in the backseat like this but all you know is that this Valentine’s Day was a day to remember.

Stealing a glance at hyunjae you let out a giggle when you notice his ears turning a shade of bright red.

“Are you blushing because of what I said or because of the make out session we just had?” You say in a slightly teasing tone as you poke his cheeks with your fingers.

Looking back up Hyunjae looks everywhere but you, “Oh look at the time. We should head back inside to have our dinner..” he says trying to change the subject.

Opening the door of the car he lets you get down first before he got out. Locking the car you both started walking towards the hall again with your laughter beaming through the night.

The moonlight shining its light on the two of you making it look like a scene right out of a romantic movie.

thank you sm for reading!! 🥺 big hugs to you 🫂

"what do you think of flowers/bouquets?" | tbz hyung line

you mean what i think about you?

​PAIRING » the boyz x gn!reader (not proofread 😭 are we surprised?) TROPE/AU » established relationship au!, non-idol au!, smau! (text messages) GENRE »​ FLUFFY BOYFIE TBZ HYUNG LINE, with some angst, sangyeon is a very thoughtful boyfriend (and when's it my turn?), jacob to the rescue!!, younghoon is crying (I'M SORRY---), hyunjae's really...maximum comfort and hurt/comfort honestly (i love that man) WORD COUNT » 389​ ESTIMATED READING TIME » ~2 mins (for all) WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!) » none!

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 98 line 🤍 maknae line 🤍 part of 'especially to you...'

it's hard to explain how this is part of the 'especially to you...' series but the tl;dr is that flowers are very related to me and i've always thought about them as a being and how similar i can be to them and so, this was born!

also these took way longer than i thought 😭 and this is what i call: dunning-kruger effect in full motion 😭😭😭😭😭😭

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 98 line 🤍 maknae line 🤍 'especially to you...' tags (send a dm/ask if you would like to be here!): @deoboyznet 📢❤️ @k-labels 💙🤍 @k-films 🤎🎞️ @kflixnet 📺🍿@heemingyu

the boyz (hyung line) masterlist ♡

☂ - angst | ♡ - fluff | ➳ - hurt/comfort | ⋆⁺₊ - suggestive | ʚ/ɞ - external/internal challenges | personal favourite

Hyung Line

[~400 ☂/♡/➳/ʚ/ɞ] "what do you think of flowers/bouquets?"

Lee Sangyeon

[~3k ☂ ♡ ➳] that's him, that's just who he is [~4.6k ☂ ♡ ➳ ʚ] i'm home

Jacob Bae

generating...

Kim Younghoon

generating...

Lee Jaehyun | Hyunjae

[~4k ☂ ♡] i'm glad it was you too [~3.7k ☂ ♡ ➳] [02:04] [~6.4k ☂ ♡ ➳ ɞ] this summer...

navi/masterlist!! 🤍 the boyz full masterlist 🤍 nct dream masterlist 🤍 riize masterlist 🤍 other masterlist

thank you for 100+ interactions!!

[02:04] | tbz lee jaehyun | hyunjae

» ​PAIRING: tbz lee jaehyun (hyunjae) x fem reader​ » TROPE/AU​: friends 2 lovers (mentioned from backstory!), non-idol au! established relationship au! marriage au! » GENRE​: fluffy fluff, slight angst (?), ​husband hyunjae, he's super patient and understanding, hurt/comfort, wedding vows (it's so cute, i love it) » WORD COUNT: ​3743 » ESTIMATED READING TIME: ~14 mins » WARNINGS (lmk if i missed anything!): mentions of pregnancy, insecurities, mentions of a broken family/childhood (reader's side), proofread once

my second timestamp story! thank you for all the love on the first one! (pst! it's sunwoo! 🦝) hopefully, this one lives up to your expectations! (if there are any uwu). sorry for my weird, unscheduled, random posting times > <

shoutout to my mum who (i bet) went through a lot to make sure i would grow up well. thank you for always reminding me that you don't regret having me and loving me with all your being. love you mumma! 💗

navi/masterlist!!

You remembered when you tucked yourself into bed alone after reminding Jaehyun to come to bed soon. He was so close to finishing his work that you didn’t want to force him out of his zone, understanding that he would feel more peaceful if he finished it sooner even if it meant ruining his internal body clock a little bit for it.

Opening your eyes and taking a deep breath in the calming darkness, you smiled at the arm that rested across your now flat stomach. During your whole pregnancy stages, especially when that wicked pregnancy pillow put a physical barrier between you and your loving husband, he would at least reach out and hold your hand (or particularly your stomach bump), a huge downgrade from how his chest would completely be on your back and he hushes you asleep with his soft snores. 

You knew as soon as you turned your head to the right that Jaehyun managed to finish his work, a neutral smile on his face as compared to the slight pout and the subtle crease between his eyebrows as he sometimes grunts in his sleep from the past few days. An affectionate gaze falls upon your eyes when Jaehyun grunts and scoots over to your side of the bed, his unconscious mind telling him to move closer to his wife after he throws the pillow away to the other side of the room in excitement as soon as your new family arrived home three days ago. You chuckle at the way his right hand past the top of your stomach to hook your waist and pull you closer to him. Now half awake, Jaehyun made himself comfortable by burrowing his nose and lips into the crook of your neck and you immediately looked up towards the ceiling to let him do so.

A satisfied hum comes out from the man beside you, “This is nice.” He brushes the warm skin of your neck with his colder nose and his soft lips press multiple kisses from your jawline to your right shoulder.

“Jae.” You chuckle at his playful nature, “Go back to sleep, hm? You have work tomorrow.”

Jaehyun groans at the grim reminder. He’s been at home ever since you came back home, using up some of his leave days to take care of you and your newborn child. He was about to use it all but you stopped him, convincing him that you’re able to take care of yourself and your child, moreover to save those days in case a ‘real’ emergency does occur. Every day and every moment, you look at your husband who you treasure so much and you can’t help but think about how much you love this man with all your heart, mind and soul.

“Don’t remind me of that, bubs.” Finally opening his eyes, he relied on the subtle moonlight that seeped through your curtains and looked at your side view with ‘that’ gaze. 

‘That’ gaze that reminds you every day that you’re worth it for you. ‘That’ gaze that he kept even after ten years of meeting each other. ‘That’ gaze that was plastered on his face when he went down on one knee to propose to you. ‘That’ gaze that was present when he read his wedding vows and wiped the tears on your face when you read yours. ‘That’ gaze (mixed with immense happiness and excitement) when you told him you were pregnant. 

It holds many meanings and you were sure that the list would continue, building from all the blessed experiences so far.

Only chuckling at the way that he pouts cutely at you, you turn your body to face him, creating a small gap between you both as you press a peck on his lips, “Thank you for using your leave days to take care of us.”

“Of course, I would.” Jaehyun shook his head slightly to validate his point, “You both are my whole world. I can’t afford to lose you or baby.” It was the way that your eyes slightly pooled with tears that he replaced the pout and shushing the soft whimpers that left your now shaky lips, “Hey…what’s wrong?”

Your once small cries amplified drastically and Jaehyun’s eyes widened in shock, quickly pulling you into his embrace. He slips his left hand under your neck, bringing your tear-stricken face into his chest as you sob in his arms. Jaehyun comfortingly whispers sweet nothings into your ear, patting your head and pressing occasional kisses on your forehead. You stayed wordless for a while, enjoying the company and how close your entire body could be now after you gave birth.

“Catch your breath. I’ll be right here.” Jaehyun reminds you between your tired gasps for air, “I’ll always be here next to you, waiting for you, loving you more and more with each passing day.”

You couldn’t do anything but just nod, your heart melting at the sincere words, “I’m scared.”

“Of what, bubs?”

“Like,” You started, audibly voicing out the thoughts that have been swarming and eating you alive inside and out, “what happens if I mess up?”

It isn’t the first time that you had this kind of conversation. The very first time was when the adrenaline from your system was drained after announcing that positive pregnancy test to Jaehyun. You voiced out your worries as an upcoming parent, worried that you would accidentally pass down your problems, anxiety and worries to your child. Out of everything you want the most in the world, all you want is for your children to grow up without your traumas and problems affecting them because that’s not the kind of life that they deserve. Of course, that’s unrealistic. Children are indeed a slight depiction of their parents and how they would act around other people outside the family says a lot about how their parents raised them.

You can just imagine a situation where your anxiety takes over, you crouch down to be eye level with your extremely young child, giving them a lecture about what they should or shouldn’t do, extending that talks to both extreme sides of ‘what if’s and how they should just be more careful, less daring and---

“Jae, promise me that you’ll make sure she doesn’t grow up like me.” It was a desperate plea, almost as if you would walk out of their lives in the next second. The anxiety completely took over your body as you clenched Jaehyun’s shirt in your fist as a physical response, looking up at him desperately and Jaehyun’s eyebrows crashed together, “She doesn’t deserve that, Jae. Those silent cries, hating everyone around me, feeling like no one loved me and wanting to just end---”

“Don’t.” It was stern yet it still held a lot of patience and love. Jaehyun smiles sadly at the words that he has heard multiple times but even so, he would never stop reminding you of all the things he loves about you. He would never stop hugging you, holding your body and pulling you towards him, giving you all his love and company, “Don’t say that about yourself when you’re the reason why I wake up happy every day, bubs.”

“But Jae---”

“You know,” He whispers into the silent yet wavering night. Jaehyun takes a deep inhale of the air, tilting his head to rest his chin on the top of your head, “I was so scared of losing you as time went on.”

You calmed down, shutting your eyes as you focused on his heartbeat to pull you back to the present time. Jaehyun just smiles at the slightly open door of your room and he reminds himself of his newborn child on the other side of their bedroom door. When you hummed confusingly at his words, your husband just nodded, “Why were you scared?”

“Well,” If it wasn’t for the fact that your face was hidden into his collarbone, you would be able to see the blushing mess that Jaehyun was. A deep red blush was on his face, spreading to his ears; but you did feel the warmth on his neck as you kissed his skin delicately and it made Jaehyun more of a mess, “of course if it didn’t work out and you didn’t feel the same way, it would become awkward and even though we were such close friends, I knew that if I was rejected, I wouldn’t be able to spend as much time with you anymore. I really could’ve lost you.”

You never really knew this about Jaehyun. Whenever you asked about the day that he confessed to you to be his girlfriend, he only talked about his plans and how your mutual friends all pushed him to confess to you. You also told him about how the same mutual friends pushed you to confess back to him, yet you were a coward that you became used to telling yourself that if you ever ended up with Jaehyun, it would only hinder him in life; because who would love a broken girl when they could love a perfect one instead?

And so when he confessed, asked for a chance and promised to love you dearly after two years of mutual pining, you didn’t realise that time flew by so quickly that on the sixth year when Jaehyun kneeled and asked for your hand in marriage two years ago, a sudden hit of ‘reality’ (or so you called it) crashed into you. 

You really did find love when you thought for the longest, most tiring and hardest times when you didn’t think anyone would love you as you are. Seriously, how could anyone love you when you were still so stuck between believing and convincing yourself that you are enough? 

“I knew I had to take a chance,” Jaehyun continues his thoughts, “because when I closed my eyes and realised that if I didn’t at least try to make you mine, you might just completely slip from my life. Selfishly as well, I didn’t want to see you smiling in another person’s arms and kissing that person every time you wake up and go to sleep.”

The thought of you two doing just that ever since you moved in together five years ago suddenly made you blush and you couldn’t help but let out a string of complaints. Jaehyun just laughs (and quietly lets out a sigh of relief) when you finally release his shirt, wrapping your small hands around his bigger build instead, “I’m sorry that I didn’t realise that you went through all that.”

“No, it’s alright.” He reassures you again for the nth time in the last hour, “I have you now. You are all I ever wanted.” Pulling away and reaching to cup your wet cheeks, his thumbs swipe your almost dry cheek, offering you that familiar warmth that only he could give, “It’s all worth it in the end.”

“Really?” Another tear managed to slip out of your eyes and you couldn’t help but stare at him apprehensively as the devil inside your mind managed to manipulate your thinking, “I’m such a high-maintenance person, Jae…I really wouldn’t blame you if you wake up one day and decide to just…” He shakes his head throughout your small speech, knowing the similar words that you would say to him once in a while, “leave…” It came out quieter than you thought, maybe because he already knew anyway, hence saying it again and again, the red-horned creature in your mind rejoices as your childhood traumas reminded you of how worthless you are to the world.

Usually at this time, Jaehyun would rebut your words immediately but the silence had your heart dropping and for a while, you thought that you had taken the words out of his mouth. Jaehyun kept his tired stare and suddenly you were aware of your dry mouth as you waited for any sort of words from your husband. He removes the hand that was on your cheek, reaching behind to grab his device from the bedside table, “Hold on, okay?”

For a second, you really thought this was it for the both of you. During these moments of much-needed comfort, Jaehyun has always given you his undivided attention but now as the blue light reflects on his squinting eyes, you couldn’t help but let the tears flow down your eyes once again. Did he finally give up on me? Were the only thoughts that swarmed your mind as you watched how his thumb scrolled and colours reflected on the smooth surface of his dewy skin, “Jae?” Time made you desperate for a response and you were about to clench on his shirt again when he let out a small ‘aha’ and played the video on his phone.

You recognised the scene on his phone immediately without looking. The familiar scene, cheers, whooping and excitement radiating off the background noises had you sobbing again. Jaehyun sets the volume, puts his phone back on the bedside table and gives you his attention again, “My mum was sorting videos on her phone when she came across this and sent it to me.” He presses a comforting kiss on your lips and calms your shaking body, “I’m sure you remember this right?”

You just nod and Jaehyun pulls your face into his chest once again, letting the sound from the video consume you both into your worlds.

“As soon as you stepped into those classroom doors, all eyes were on you and undoubtedly mine too.” You were already starting to tear up just from the first few sentences, “Ah…I only just started…” You scanned your next words, just sniffling from the longer sentences that you didn't know how to not cry to while the audience let out words of encouragement and small laughs. 

Your soon-to-be husband steps towards you, kissing the side of your head, “Should I go first?”

“Do you mind?” You laugh, feeling embarrassed. 

“Not at all.” Jaehyun takes out his paper from his suit, taking the microphone from you, “I already knew this would happen guys.” He announced to the audience and you rolled your eyes jokingly, “Ok…I’ll start.”

You knew very well that your eye makeup was most probably ruined and you looked some sort of a mess at the moment so you couldn’t help but stare down at the floor. Jaehyun gives you a quick kiss on the crown of your head, swooning the audience with his romantic gesture making him chuckle before clearing his throat and starting his vows.

“I remember the day I walked into that classroom on my first day of school. No doubt, I didn’t want to be there. Not just at that school or at that classroom: I just didn’t want to be in Seoul. The sudden move because of my dad’s work made me leave all the memories I had in Incheon in a month and as an innocent young child who was already happy with everything, I didn’t want to leave.

Alas, even my mother told me we had to go and that’s when I knew that moving was inevitable. School work was already hard as it was and I had to move to a big city where I knew no one, having to start all over again from the ‘Hi. My name is Lee Jaehyun. I hope we’ll get along well.’ really made me reach the peak of my mood swings during puberty.”

Jaehyun alternates his eye contact between you and the audience who reacts to the groom with happiness, and laughter as some of his closest friends give him encouraging, funny body language. He points them out and the said friends complain whilst the audience just laughs at the group of boys on the side of the stage. However, it was how you finally raised your head and laughed along that made Jaehyun join in as well.

“For the first few weeks, I didn’t make an obvious effort to fit in. As you know, I joined clubs and did after-school activities. Studying was still my priority at this point but even that became so mundane and boring that I crashed and burnt out after a while. But maybe, the burnout was just what I needed because that was how I first met you. Had I not cried in the corner of the library in the ironically ‘health and wellbeing’ section, would you have even spoken to me? Would you have crouched down and tapped on my shoulder to ask if I was okay? Would you have sat down next to me silently as you read your book, waiting for me to answer your question?

The answer is: yes. Or at least I would like to believe so.

Why? Because no one will fully ever understand how much I love you. Maybe if it wasn’t that day in the library, I would’ve met you later. How much later, nobody knows and nobody will ever know because I’m about to marry that girl who made my day so much better in the library. But what I do know is that no matter when, where, why or how we would’ve met, I would have still fallen in love with your smile, your pout, your laugh, and the way you cutely complain about how I mess up your bubble tea order,” Jaehyun gives you a cheeky smile and you just scoff with a smile on your face, “the way you would cry in my arms when you had a bad day, the way you would drop everything when I have a bad day, the way you would try your best to stay awake until I’m done with my other priorities. 

But bubs, I hope you’ll always know that you’ll forever be my first, most top priority.

Even as we fight, cry and shout at each other words that we don’t mean, I hope you’ll always be able to go to sleep thinking that I’ll still love you. I’ll still be right by your side when your insecurities come by and pass. I’ll always remind you that you’ll always be enough no matter what you do. Your best will always be enough and I hope I’ll always be that person who can be your safe, happy place.”

No doubt now that you’re sobbing and when you look at your parents sitting down not far from the stage, your heart does clench a bit as you’re reminded of your childhood. Seeing them cry over Jaehyun’s words does seem a little bit strange to you as they never really minded your words whenever you were struggling with life. But then you remind yourself of what Jaehyun said to you a few seconds ago.

“I know for sure that you’ll always be enough for me.” Jaehyun continues, taking your mind off your parents as he looks at you understandingly, “I love you and I know I’ll continue to love you until the day I take my last breath. I’ll take care of you even when you’re not sick or feeling well, cherish all of you and be there for you even after death because I love you so much, sweetheart.”

The recording ended there and Jaehyun relished in the way that your body stopped shaking, your arms around his waist securely and your breathing back to normal. He knows instantly that you feel better just from those small actions. He also didn’t miss the smile that grew on your face even though you were literally cuddled up against his body, “So,” the deep whisper from your husband only made you push your face even further up his body, now burying your face into his collarbone, “I just want to tell you that she will grow up beautifully just like her mother. Also, we’ll get through this together. Parenting isn’t supposed to be a one-person job after all.”

Nodding and burrowing yourself into the crook of his neck, you appreciate the way his words reminded the devil in the back of your head as it stomps off in defeat. The words supported the angel that finally won and it replaced the red creature, kicking the red light away to replace your body with a calming, soothing feeling that soon takes over your whole body, “I love you, Jae.”

“I love you too.” The warmth of the night overpowered the chilly night and the two of you held each other so lovingly that the weight of your eyelids eventually became too heavy for you to hold. Jaehyun waits patiently until sleep fully takes over you, fighting his yawn from escaping his mouth. Quietly, he just continued to stroke your exposed waist delicately, kissing your lips one last time before reminding you once more, “Always.”

It’s all very fortunate that your mind is now at ease and that you both were able to sleep after. But parenting duties call about half an hour later when cries are heard from the other side of the house and both your eyes open instantly. You were the first one to untangle your body from Jaehyun and you looked over to your husband who was still stirring himself awake again for the second time of the night as you both sat up on the bed, “I’m sorry.” You kiss him on the lips, cradling the back of his head and pushing his chest back down on the bed, “I’ll get her. Get back to sleep, Jae.”

“No no, I’ll go.” You disapprovingly groan at your husband who managed to push his sleepiness aside and sit up once again, his head hanging down in exhaustion, “Wha---bubs.” Instantly, you pushed him back down on the bed, pulling the blanket over up until his chin.

You adamantly tell your husband to try and go back to sleep. Jaehyun fakes his nod and closes his eyes, an idea popping up in his head as he plots to joke around with his wife. When you swing your legs over to the side of the bed, ready to stand up once more, Jaehyun quickly hugs you from behind, pressing a kiss on the back of your ear where you’re the most ticklish and sensitive. 

You froze at his actions and even though his sleepy voice was still evident, you could also hear all the love that he could offer you in this world with his playful tone, “Race you there, bubs.”

Jaehyun called in sick the next day.

navi/masterlist!!

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