Gay Problems - Tumblr Posts
When insomnia keeps you up but your too tired to watch porn and jerk off
I just want what Michel and Cam from Modern Family have but with a girl, is that so much to ask for?
My gay ass just saw a pretty girl at cash and went “Haillo” 😭
Hi tumblr people, so i have gotten into a very weird mood lately just graduated from highschool officially last month!!! They cant pull me back for more credits cause I have them all now!! Now although this is great news I have come on here because I want to be petty and go into my basic instincts.
So I have a whole ass history with this guy, let's call him Nigel. I'm a gay 18 year old so like you know at some point in my highschool tenure I had a crush on a straight boy, and that was nigel. He brought out the worst in me, the need to be validated, to feel like I contributed and he used that against me, he gaslighted me and overall it became a toxic relationship where he would give me a singular compliment that was actually an insult and the idea something could happen between us (This was my fault entirely I should have seen it but still it is disgusting too look back on).
For an idea of what I did for nigel heres what I gave him
A bakers dozen worth of cookies every week in sophomore year
An XL 3ds that was a limited addition super mario.
5 different pokemon games
A dozen set of dnd dice,
I had turned down my acceptance to a place called school of science in math because he said hed be sad if I wasnt there
And worst of all my undivided attention that I could have been giving to people who actually cared and wanted me.
What had nigel given me.
Derogatory comments and way worse things that I'm not gonna say because well even though he fucked me up I dont still dont want to do it to him.
Now that you have the background for this post, Nigel recently messaged me on Instagram one uping me on how many followers he had and unfollowing me, so I'm kindly asking those who read this to follow me
Again this is petty but like I really just want to jump over his follower account to feel slightly better about myself
Today i tried giving one of my friends my tumblr and he replied with "welcome to 2013".... i can't do this anymore–
I JUST saw that and i need to tell a history for everyone. Idk whos gonna see this, maybe even he will see this..
Begin
So, my history starts in 2022, i was still studying and a lot of weird and shitty stuff happened in 2021, so 2022 was the year of hope, the year that everything would change and i was sooo hopeful!
I was finally getting along with my colleagues and - again - everything was getting better...after my "dad"s death all i wanted was to fill the whole he left. And then he came, the new English teacher.
My English teacher H, was very young, like 22y at the time and you can judge me but at the start I really had a crush on him yk just teenager shit, it's the tendency. He was very sweet with me and everyone n he NEVER exceeded anything with me. H was mysterious, the only teacher who was still wearing a mask and this made EVERYONE wonder "hmm how'd he looks like?"
The Life change decision
I need to aware you guys, at the time i just lost my dad I was in deep grief, my teacher reminded so much of my dad, he was vivid. Alive. And again, i wanted to fill the whole of his absence.
When I asked myself, "how'd he look like.." I made a plan. He was (is) an artist and my friend used to draw a lot too (me too but I was toooo shy), so my friend and i decided: What if my friend created an account to post his draws, and give it to my teacher, he'd follow and we'd know how he looked like. WORST DECISION. but we did it. And IT WORKED!
Me being a good curious person, faked being sociable... *Yeah yeah ik it's ridiculously weird*. I started talking to him and we got close *but no too much* and then...my very first panic attack of the year } Making it clear at this point I didn't follow him on Instagram, i just knew his @. Back to the panic attack: it happened in his class, and he noticed and came to help me, Oh god what a bad decision.
He was very caring and did everything he could to help getting out of this, i allowed him to see my soul, and how it was broken and i didn't want to but my own decisions slipped through my fingers. And then happened what I thought it would happen. I got attached to him with all my little young heart.
Well he gave his Instagram to me (which I already had...) And we started talking for hours n hours, but I made this stupid to:
Ask myself
Well at some point we need stop and ask yourselfs: WE are talking or it's just ME? And yes it was just me talking.
I didn't know anything about his life, only he didn't have a father, he had a cat, and that he was still studying and liked Pixel Art.
So I stopped talking to him. The fun thing is that in school he never greeted me. Never. But all the other students he did. } In this time our last conversation was about his crush, that he started dating.
Ok now a jump of time, months like that, months and months, and he refuse to talk to me, and i was so so hurt because I like him, I looked at him as a friend. And i meant nothing to him at all. I felt betrayed.
I finally decided to send a message to him asking what happened, we talked, and he said it was a big misunderstanding of both of us (lie) and we started to talk again. It lasted a week. Till I joked about his friend being hot in a very SARCASTIC WAY. and he got a little angry.
After that I told him I wanted try to be a good friend and help him too, and he said straight up to me, "no, I won't tell anything about how I feel or anything like that" and i asked him why and he simply replayed "because no"
Idk I think I was just so full of rage and i snapped and said to myself "ok, I'm over with this" and never talked to him again.
End
So now I tell you guys: it wasn't worth it. Trying to save a relationship (in any kind) that it's over - sometimes - it's not the best you can do, sometimes it's better letting go, even if the person means a lot to you.
He never talked to me again and we probably won't ever again, but I learned with him that it is ok to let go and it is ok to have temporary people in your life.
Sometimes people we don't expect come so we can learn something.
If you came all the way down here and read everything here's his draws account, it's beautiful. H.
Satellite Sky
I feel sooo weird knowing just a few people are making hobie brown fanfics 😭😭😭
Haha mens boobies...😳
Changing my name again because I didn't do it right the first time (I thought I'd be fine having my deadname as my "government name" and my chosen name as my middle name. WOW was that ever not the case.)
Asked my friends for suggestions for middle names that started with A, and now I have a dilemma because here's just some of what they gave me:
Arsenal
Atticus
Achilles
Axel
Apocalypse
Archeopteryx
