Dean Spn - Tumblr Posts

Somehow Supernatural

Chapter 2: It's All Starting to Feel Real

Tags: poc!oc, gn!oc, teen!oc, panic attack, heavy cursing, Dean always needs his own warning, self-deprecating thoughts, mentions of anxiety, Cas not taking a hint, Deanstiel (or whatever the fuck Dean and Cas's ship name is), general chaos

Summary: The Winchesters and Cas have a meeting about Casey. It doesn't go too well, and Casey realizes what shit their stuck in.

Words: 2,675

I kinda felt like I was gonna vomit. Not because I needed to vomit, but because my tum-tum was doing flips and turns like a fucking rollercoaster due to my crippling anxiety. Usually, I would do little exercises that helped me regulate like my mom taught me, but that just reminded me that I was in a different universe where I might not be able to see my mom - or anyone I knew in real life - ever again. These consistent, little thoughts did not help my already upside-down stomach.

I was sitting in the bunker, in the room with the table that has the big map of the world. I liked to call this room the “meeting room” when I watched the show because… they met people in the meeting room. Come on, it was like the foyer of the bunker so everyone had to pass through it to fight and argue and shiz.

Anyway, I was sitting in the meeting room surrounded by men that I never thought I’d ever meet in person. Maybe the reason for my anxious tum was because of the “omg-smexy-men-are-staring-at-me” effect. If so… give me an anxiety stomach ache every day.

Dean sat straight across from me at the map table. Even though he wasn’t in pouncing position anymore, he was still on guard; which, I mean, valid. All that shit he’s gone through definitely made him a tough cookie. 

Castiel was standing right behind Dean’s chair like a guardian angel. I mean, literally right behind. He was basically breathing down the hunter's neck. Maybe he liked the smell.

And Sam.

Oh. Sammy. Boy!

He had his ass sat directly on the table and was staring at me in wonder. Sam’s hair was hanging in his face at an angle that was just… perfect. It was also the perfect length, not short enough to make him look like he was 15 and not long enough where he looked crusty. Did I mention that he looked fucking perfect? Honestly, if I didn’t know any better I would’ve thought Sam was the angel.

No offense, Cas.

All three attractive men were gathered around the meeting table to discuss me. Me! I was kinda feeling myself and basking in the attention that I was getting from multiple hot men before I realized something a bit alarming.

Dean, Castiel, and Sam… were deciding what to do with me. I wouldn’t put it past Dean if he decided to kill me or abandon me in the middle of bumfuck nowhere. He doesn’t seem like the type to have a father instinct for just some random teen.

…or maybe whoever’s body I’m occupying is important to him.

“Y’all gonna talk or just stare?” I asked. Yes, during my whole internal monologue full of ogling men and withering away from anxiety, not a single person talked. They gave each other looks, but they didn’t utter a word. 

Someone finally decided to speak up after realizing how weird they were being.

“So…” Sam started. He had his hand thoughtfully under his chin. I thought I might mention it because it almost took me out, “You just appeared out of nowhere?”

“I mean, I guess so. I’m just as confused as you guys are,” I spin in my chair, “Honestly, I thought I was just having one of my regularly scheduled psychedelic dreams but then, I woke up with Dean in my face.”

“A dream?” Castiel asked.

“Yeah, dude, a dream. I was basically floating in this void and then I started hearing someone telling me to wake up and then… Dean’s face.” I took another twirl in my chair. 

The guys looked like they were trying to solve a puzzle. They had their thinking caps on full blast, you should have seen their faces. 

“Did you try the usual holy water, sliver, cross stuff?” Sam turned to Dean in question.

“Yeah,” Dean replied.

I get trying to make sure I’m not a bad type of baddie, but he could have used his non-dominant hand so it wouldn’t be as hard cause damn. That shit really hurt.

“They didn’t try to attack you?” Sam continued.

“No.”

“Then, I think we should be good for now. We can let them stay here since they seem discombobulated,” Bless you, Sam. You’re the greatest of all these fuckers.

“But if they try anything, they're out,” Cas nodded along with Dean’s words. The angel barely even looked like he was listening to what Dean was actually saying, “And if we figure out you were lying about who you are, I will find a way to send you to hell. Trust me.” 

Go shit on a brick, Dean. And you too Cas, agreeing with Dean like a lost puppy. 

“Okay…” I muttered. I didn’t really like the idea of dying, especially if it was in someone else’s body, but what could I have done? Said no? Been kicked to the curb? I’m not really worth anything to them so-

…wait.

“You never told me, whose body is this?” 

All of a sudden, it got a little awkward. Sam’s cheeks were pink and Dean was avoiding my eyes. Even Cas looked a little weird.

“Well-” Dean started.

“We-” 

“Sam found the kid on a hunt and couldn’t help but save them. They almost died, but Sammy got Cas to heal them,” Dean blurted. Sam’s face turned a dark red now that the truth was out to the masses.

“W-well you cared about them enough to train them!” Sam retorted. Now it was Dean’s turn for a red face. 

“You brought them stacks of books!”

“You made them your big bacon breakfast…three times! I can barely get you to cook for me!”

“You eat salad. I’m not making a fucking salad for a meal!” 

“It’s good for your body! Your body will rot away from all the red meat you eat!”

“At least I’m not eating rabbits' food!”

“You know,” Cas finally piped up, “The kid was bound to die.”

Silence. Damn, dude. That was a bit harsh, wasn’t it? From what I heard just now, the Winchester brothers really liked this kid. It kind of makes me feel bad for pushing them from their own body, but… what was Cas saying?

“They were meant to die the night of the hunt. Right on the floor of their living room where you found them. It was their fate. It was a miracle I was able to heal them and it was almost impossible for them to survive a month like they did,” Sam and Dean were getting pissed. Castiel - bless his heart - didn’t seem to notice, “They were never supposed to have formed relations with you two because you weren’t supposed to meet them while they were still alive.”

Poor Cas and his sucky communication skills. Now due to his harsh words, the angel’s collar was being winkled by Dean’s man hands. Castiel didn’t look alarmed at all. I wasn’t sure if it was because Dean was a mere human or because the majority of the Supernatural fandom was right about these two.

“Shut up,” Dean seethed. Sam was hovering behind Dean either waiting his turn to get a lick in or making sure Dean didn’t take it too far. I was now feeling really bad because this was all making a bit of sense. I finally understood why Castiel didn’t seem fazed by my sudden appearance, why he’s been saying all this shit about how this person should be dead already.

Speaking of Castiel, he was just letting Dean choke him up against the table. I knew he didn’t really need my help in the situation, but I was starting to feel a little awkward just sitting there. It’s way different seeing these men fight when they’re on screen and I’m in a whole other world looking like a mole rat on my couch. 

With courage that I didn’t know I had, I muttered, “Guys… I need to take a shit. Real bad.”

Three pairs of eyes turned to look at me in… surprise? Disgust? Both? It didn’t really matter what they thought of my statement, all that mattered was Castiel’s insensitive words were forgotten. For now.

Fingers combing through his hair, Sam sighed, “Come on then,” he said, walking off. He expected me to follow him and I did. To the best of my ability. He’s got long fucking legs, so he’s got even longer fucking strides. I had to practically run and I’m of average height!

Sam finally stopped at the door to the bathroom. I didn’t actually have to shit, but I figured I could use this opportunity of aloneness to recoup, realign, and do all things zen. 

Closing the door to the bathroom, I let out a breath that I didn’t realize I was holding. Today was one of the weirdest days of my life. I wasn’t sure if it was a good or bad weird yet, but it was weird. I never thought I would travel to a different universe. I never thought I would ever meet the Winchesters. I never thought I would get to walk with my own two feet - mostly - through the bunker that I’ve adored for years. 

What the hell brought me here? I wasn’t really complaining, but I still have to wonder. Was this planned? Was this person’s body kept alive for me to go in it? Do I have to save this world somehow? Am I connected to something here? Was this fate like Castiel mentioned?

I sat on the toilet seat feeling pretty lost. I wasn’t sure why it was so bright in the fucking bathroom, but it was bothering me so I slammed my face onto my lap. It was dark and warm and what I really needed at the moment. 

I know, a really sharp change in my emotions, but that’s just how it be sometimes. Perhaps being alone right now wasn’t the best decision. Usually, being alone worked, but now it felt like there were 20-pound weights on my shoulders, and it was getting kind of hard to breathe. It was also really hot, so I started squirming on the toilet seat like that was gonna cool me off.  I don’t know what I thinking because that’s not how heat works.

Then, I thought I could sit on the floor and continue my deep ponder about how the fuck I got into this situation, but I finally realized I was having a panic attack and didn’t really want to move. I found that if I moved, I would black out or it would be 10 times worse, but who knows, maybe this body works differently.

So, I moved to the floor. The floor was nice and cool, but then I started thinking about spiders because I was on the floor in an underground bathroom and spiders here really made sense. I wanted to get back on the toilet, but my body didn’t wanna listen. So now, I was a lump of a human on the bathroom floor that was probably shivering, but I couldn’t really feel my body anymore.

I wonder why when my body’s panicking my thoughts are calmer than when my body’s not panicking. It doesn’t really make sense. Like, none of my thoughts were screaming at me or telling me to do stupid shit. They were just calmly saying stuff like ‘you should get up’ or ‘there might be spiders here’ or ‘your probably gonna die, but take your time’. 

Yeah, the calm thoughts were definitely worst.

Now I recognized the feeling of tears falling down my face and I felt pretty pathetic. I mean, what the fuck was I crying for? Nothing was wrong. They hadn’t killed me yet. I’d always wanted to travel to another world, but I guess my body couldn’t take it. Wait! This wasn’t even my fucking body!

“So goddamn pathetic,” I wheezed. My right cheek was pressed against the floor and when I talked I could feel the tears smearing all over the place and it gave me the ick, but I couldn’t stop myself from crying. 

I love to mention the fact that I have a superiority complex, but I never talk about the opposite of that. My dandy ‘you’re a fucking loser and will never do anything in your life’ complex. It always sneaks up on me at the worst times, like when I’m supposed to be enjoying myself in another universe for crying out loud, and makes me feel more worthless than - fucking - everything. It makes me wanna crawl into a hole and never come back out.

Feeling worthless and having a panic attack simultaneously isn’t the best. It means not only can you not breathe, but you also don’t feel like trying. So, I laid on the floor of the bathroom and didn’t do any of the breathing exercises that my therapist taught me. I just waited to black out.

“Hey, kid, you doing okay in there?” Sam’s voice sounded so far away. I could barely hear it. My lungs were starting to hurt from lack of air, so I curled my aching body into a pathetic little ball.

Pathetic.

“Did you hear me?” Sam sounded. I didn’t move a muscle. I wasn’t surprised when I heard his footsteps getting farther from the door. Of course, he would abandon me. Even I would abandon myself. I was so damn pathetic that I didn’t deserve to be cared for.

Bang!

“Kid! What the hell?” Sam’s voice was now closer. Was it odd that I could smell him? Was I really that desperate for someone that I was imagining things?

So fucking pathetic.

Strong arms lifted me off the floor. I was now pushed against a firm chest and not cold tiles. I don’t think I was imagining this, but I wasn’t gonna get my hopes up. I couldn’t see much because of the tears, so I just snuggled deeper into Sam’s flannel.

More footsteps approached. More voices.

“What the hell happened?”

“They were in the bathroom and I heard sobbing, but they wouldn’t answer the door.”

“Are they hurt?” 

“No, I think they’re having a panic attack.”

“A what?”

“A panic attack, Dean. I’m just gonna get them to lay down somewhere other than the floor.”

“The floor? Did they pass out?”

Sam brushed my hair back to see my face, “Maybe. They’re awake now.”

When we got to the couch, Sam put me down and crouched in front of me. He was looking into my eyes while I was trying to look at his. 

“Breathe with me,” Sam whispered gently. 

I tried to do what he said, but my lungs were burning. Every breath I tried to take would come out shaky or devolve into a sob. Sam slowly took my hands, giving me a chance to pull away, and continued breathing with me. It took a while, but soon I was breathing steadily and my crying had stopped.

“You okay?” Sam asked.

I nodded.

“You want some water?” 

I nodded again.

“Dean?” Sam turned to his brother that was standing behind him, “Mind getting them some water?”

Before Dean could move Castiel appeared with a glass of water in hand. I hadn’t even noticed he had left. The angel handed me the glass and while I gulped it down, he stayed hovered over me. He looked really worried, but I wasn’t sure why.

“Does this happen a lot?” Sam questioned. His hand was still holding one of mine. It was comforting.

“Yeah,” I croaked, “No big deal.”

“Is there something wrong with them?” The shorter brother asked.

“Nah, I’m just kinda sensitive,” I huffed, “Kind of hoped I wouldn’t have to deal with that in this body.”

“Sorry you have to,” said Sam, “I know how it feels.”

Well, well, well. One of my personal headcannons was true. 

I gave Sam a smile and finally let go of his hand. I didn’t really wanna talk about this anymore.

“So, you guys got anything to eat?”

I used my own experience with panic attacks to write the scene in this chapter, so if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.

AN: loved this chapter sm. I really like the tone of this fanfiction and I'm gonna try to keep it like this so when it gets dark... well- it doesn't get too depressing.

Hope you enjoyed!

Where I’m at in supernatural (I’m on like literally ep 6 help) I haven’t met Castiel yet, but based on tumblr and memes I’m assuming this is their relationship

dean: *talking abt his childhood* but yk shit happens

Castiel: *eye twitching*

dean: what

Castiel: that’s not normal

dean: and? I’m fine aren’t i

Castiel: *gay “no babe ur not” frustration*

this sounds like some shit my mom would say (she has shown me the college dissertations her students have written about destiel before, it happens more often than you think)

MY MOM JUST CASUALLY MENTIONED SHES A DESTIEL SHIPPER AT 5 AM

My feelings about Dean Winchester swing wildly from wanting to be him to wanting him

me watching supernatural but I know a total of like three or four monsters so the second I see a woman spirit I’m like “A WOMAN IN WHITE!!” And two seconds later deans like “it’s some zombie shit” and I’m like “oh-“

Blaming the fact that I can’t draw Dean Winchester on the fact that Jensen ackles is just too pretty to capture on paper

Guys I’m watching supernatural for the first time right and I’m on the alternative universe episode and I’m in class I can’t cry right now she’s alive he’s happy he’s such a dork and I just- his realization that in this world they got to be children

Adopting Dean Winchesters mannerisms and body language except it looks weird cuz I’m a 5’2 twink

The Cure - Dean Winchester Imagine

New Me Part 2

Part 1

Warning: Gore, blood, maybe some angst......maybe

Summary: Knowing what you’ve turned into Dean beats himself up and tries to right his wrong

You felt the tug indicating someone was summoning you. You groaned, the only person who normally dared to summon you was either Crowley or Abaddon. You laid down the knife you were using. You wiped the blood from your hands on the grey shirt you were wearing. You smiled at the soul lying on the rack. ‘Don’t you worry sweetheart’ Her eyes widened as you leaned over her. ‘I’ll be back once I figure out what these idiots want’ You reached out and ran your finger across her cheek collecting the blood that ran there. ‘Don’t go anywhere’ You giggled and put your finger in your mouth sucking the liquid from it. You smirked as her eyes widened. ‘Wait for me my dear?’ You giggled and zapped yourself up top.

You threw you hand out and the door flew off its hinges. ‘I thought I told you boys to leave it alone? Well, where’s little Sammy?’ Dean spun around as the door hit the far wall. ‘And did you really think I was going to pop up inside this dodgy motel room. Ever inch of it is covered in devil traps’ You twisted your wrist and a crack appeared along the ceiling. breaking all the traps they had put on the ceiling. ‘Except for the corner Your Majesty is standing in over there’ You chuckled and waved at Crowley.

He gave you a tight smile and waved slightly. ‘You’re fighting for Hell and you’re trying to trap me?’ You raised your eyebrows and leaned against the door frame. ‘And working with the Winchesters’ You spat the name giving the elder hunter a glare. ‘To do it, well the Demon’s aren’t going to be too happy are they?’ You giggled. ‘They’ll all back Abaddon when they hear you’ve got rid of their favourite torturer’ Crowley just crossed his arms. ‘Not like there isn’t a new big shot down there already’ You looked down at your heels. ‘Abaddon’s got her laws into hell’ Crowley growled.

You giggled looking up at him. ‘No, that would be me’ You twiddled your fingers at him. ‘But myself and Abaddon have a mutual agreement’ Crowley pushed himself up with a glare. ‘You would bow down to Abaddon?’ You rolled your eyes. ‘Better than some egotistical salesman’ You laughed. ‘So don’t try manipulate my alliance’  You looked at Dean who was just gaping at you.

You pushed yourself from the frame and stood straight. ‘I won’t be siding with someone who is so tolerant of them’ You glared at Dean Winchester. ‘Of any hunters’ You spat the word. The thing that you once were now disgusted you. Crowley disappeared and you rolled your eyes. ‘Now Winchester, unless you want to make a deal I got a soul to crack open downstairs’ You smirked checking your nails. ‘I’m sorry’ The words were faint but you heard them

You rolled your eyes. ‘You can be as sorry as you want but it still doesn’t matter to me’ You smiled and raised you hand waving your fingers at him. ‘Now buh bye’ Before you could disappear there was a sound of wings behind you. Something clamped down on your wrist.

Your head snapped to the side. ‘Sorry’ Sam reached around and grabbed your other hand clamping the other cuff on it. ‘Really?’ You look between the younger Winchester and the Angel before clicking. But they didn’t disappear. ‘What is this?’ You growled. ‘Us getting you back Babe’ Dean gave you an apologetic smile as he walked towards you.

You glared and reached out. You wrapped the chain around the taller man’s neck. And kicked his leg out from under him. Dean reached out but you tighten your grip. Sam choked and gripped at the chain. ‘Let me out’ You snarled dragging the much larger man with you down the hallway. ‘Or I’ll snap his neck’ Both the other men tried to calm you. ‘I’ll kill him’ Then Castiel disappeared.

You turned your body slightly as he appeared again. You kicked out breaking the bone in his knee and he fell. You leaned back dragging the almost unconscious hunter with you and swung your elbow making it collide into the side of his face and he fell to the ground. ‘Don’t Dean’ He stopped about a foot from you.

A sharp pain in your leg made you grunt. ‘Crowley, No’ Dean shouted rushing forwards. You seen the angel blade heading for your neck before you could do anything. But you still raised your hands to intercept. Then you were knocked to the ground. You grunted when someone landed on top of you. Your eyes met the striking green you had loved years ago. You raised your head your forehead hitting his face. He grunted and you threw him off you.

You scrambled to your feet but your way was blocked by a trenchcoated Angel. He raised his hand pressing it to your forehead and then everything went black

Groaning you opened your eyes. You felt different. Like something was wrong with you, and it made you scream. Pain coursed through your veins. ‘Dean’ You heard a shout. Your eyes fell on Sam Winchester. You sat strapped to a chair. The chair was inside a Devils trap. Sam sat on a desk his nose in a book, the usual. Five syringes were beside him, all filled with blood. ‘Sam let me go’ You growled. He shook his head. ‘I’ll cut you a deal’ You smirked. ‘You let me out I’ll give you a taste of some of that Demon blood you love so much’ Your head snapped to the doorway as his older brother walked in . ‘She’s awake’ You seen the sorrow in his eyes and for some reason it made you feel bad.

Wait what?

You shouldn’t feel bad. Dean picked up a syringe and began walking over to you. ‘What the hell did you freaks do to me?’ You snarled. Dean sighed. ‘I’m sorry’ He stuck the needle into your arm and pumped the blood into your system. You grunted as it mingled with your own stinging. ‘W-what are you doing to me?’ You looked up at him through your lashes. ‘Dean?’ You whimpered. ‘We’re curing you sweetheart’ He placed his hand on your cheek a soft look on his face.

Curing you? But that was impossible. You turned you head sinking your teeth into his hand. He shouted and jerked away. He raised his hand. ‘Go on, hit me’ You taunted a sadistic smile on your face. Dean lowered his hand and turned walking from the devil’s trap to his brother. You made a show of licking the blood from your lips. ‘You can’t cure demon’s Dean, we can’t be cured’ Sam patted his brother’s shoulder as he walked by him. ‘We are what we are, its how we live with what we’ve done’ You smirked when you seen the flash of hurt in his eyes. ‘I really am sorry about what I did to you’ Your smirk fell and you scoffed. The pang of empathy you felt was foreign and unwelcome.

Two hours later and two injections later you were starting to feel worse for wear. Your body was tired and sore and you wanted to cry. Of course you couldn’t give them that satisfaction and you just sat watching them read. ‘Shouldn’t it be working by now?’ Dean whispered to his brother who just looked up at you. You sent them a smirk. ‘She’s shut up’ Sam sighed. ‘I’ve said everything I need to, plus you two don’t exactly hold riveting conversations’ You shrugged and leaned back closing your eyes.

You heard Dean sigh. ‘Unless you want to talk about Hell’ You opened your eyes looking at them. Dean’s eyes widened and Sam gulped. ‘I mean, we’ve all been there’ You leaned forwards smiling at Dean. ‘Me and you have something in common Dean, we both enjoy torturing souls’ You seen him tense. ‘I mean, I like it a lot more than you ever did but it’s the only way I can feel anything anymore’ you paused. ‘Not after they broke me’ You watched the look they shared and you cursed yourself.

Feeling, feelings that’s what was happening. You growled. ‘They broke me and built me up stronger’ Then you seen the hope disappear from their eyes. ‘Time for another shot’ Dean muttered standing. You smirked and beamed at him. ‘Oh do, I quiet enjoy the pain. Really gets me going’ You grunted as he shoved the injection into you again.

You eyes the injection on the table. It was the last one. Dean reached for it and you felt your wall break. ‘Don’t’ You cried. ‘Please, please don’t’ You felt the tears fill your eyes. ‘I can’t survive as a human, my soul. It-it’s in pieces. I won’t survive as a human. Don’t do this to me’ Dean’s hand froze over the injection. ‘Please Dean. Please’ You blinked and the tears ran down your cheeks. ‘You’ll kill me’ You whimpered.

Dean ignored the injection and made his way towards you. ‘Please, I’ve suffered so much since I died, please just let this be’ You began to sob. ‘Sweetheart, I can’t let you live as a demon’ You felt Dean’s hand on your cheek. ‘I live as a demon or I die’ You looked up at him. He had tears in his eyes too. ‘Do this for me, do this one thing for me Dean’ Sam nudged Dean and handed him the syringe giving you an apologetic look. ‘No’ You screamed lurching forwards and Dean stumbled back.

You glared at them both. ‘You can’t fix this’ You screamed. ‘You’re killing me. Just like you did before, and you moved on’ You spat. ‘And don’t you think I don’t know what you did, I heard all about it’ Tears flowed freely from your eyes. ‘You moved on with skank after skank while I was being tortured’ You slumped down in the chair. ‘I screamed for you’ Your voice small. ‘Every time they cut me, I screamed for you, every time they put me back on that rack I cried your name. Every second of every day it was your name I screamed but you never came. I always held onto the hope that you would come find me, and drag me out’ You looked up at him to see a tear running down his perfect face. ‘Don’t you dare cry’ You snarled. ‘This is your fault, all because you’d let the world burn for him’ You sent Sam a glare. ‘I was just another person in the world’ Sobs shook you body.

You couldn’t do this, you couldn’t be a human. As a demon you didn’t feel anything, none of it. All you felt was hunger for and anger. And even the anger was only a mild tickle. ’It was when I finally gave up on you coming to find me that my soul turned. It was when I let go of all hope and faith I had in you Dean Winchester that turned me into the very thing I hated’ Dean’s jaw clenched and you seen the broken look on his face. ‘And now, now that I’m finally okay again you want to rip everything away from me again. I haven’t forgiven you for the first time and I won’t forgive you for this. Never’ You spat pulling on your restraints. 

You wanted to hurt him, just like he had hurt you. You wanted to cause him as much pain as he had caused you. You wanted to make him suffer.

You hissed as Sam stuck the needle into your arm. Then he began to speak. You felt pain erupting inside of you. A scream ripped through your lips and you felt your body begin to convulse. The pain began to spread through your body and tears dropped from your face onto your arms. You felt every emotion you had avoided for years bubble up inside of you. The scream died in your throat as you began to choke. You spat the blood from your lips. ‘Sam Stop’ Dean shouted as he rushed forwards taking your face in his hands.

Blood coated your lips staining them red. You felt it begin to trickle from your right nostal. Then it wasn’t tears falling from your eyes, the red liquid stained your face and Dean’s hands. ‘You’re killing her, stop’ Dean began to sob but Sam stayed going. The strength you had left began to leave your body. You slumped forwards onto Dean’s shoulder. ‘At least it wasn’t you that pulled the trigger this time’ You whispered. ‘But I can’t bring myself to hate you’ Your eyes met his. ‘I’m sorry I blamed you. I love you Dean, always have’ You breathed out. Then the room went silent. 

And the last thing you heard was Dean’s crying, just like the first time.

Then everything disappeared and the world went dark.

Oh wow...this is a little short.....sorry

Masterlist

Hired Gun - Dean Winchester Imagine

Dean x reader

Summary: The FBI roll up into town after a few people die, you take a liking to the smaller Agent.

You lounged on the seat in the back of the shop. You had the TV on and a packet of chips beside you. The bell sounded at the front of the shop. You pushed yourself from the plush cushions. You walked towards the door-shaped hole in the wall. It had a beaded curtain covering it so customers couldn’t see into the back. 

The little shop was owned by you and your family. You owned most of the block, your sister owner the diner next door, and your brother owned the club at the end of the street. It was cosy and small but it was exactly what you needed.

You pushed the bead aside. Your eyes landed on two men making their way towards the counter that was between you and the rest of the store. They were both tall, probably above 6 foot. Although one was extremely tall. He wore a suit and a dark tie, his hair was long, coming to below his ears. He was well built and he was very handsome.

But it was the smaller man who caught your attention. He was broad, his physic obvious under the dark cheap suit. He walked with purpose on those long muscular legs. But it was his face that was perfection. He had full pink lips, a killer jawline  His light brown hair messy on his head but neatly cut. And those eyes, those bright green eyes you could get lost in.

They both stopped in front of the counter and you had to look up at them. They had to be the most beautiful men you had ever met. ‘Agent Gabriel, Agent Collins’ The shorter said pulling out a badge. Your eyes ran over every detail on it before he sucked it away again. ‘FBI’ He had a deep gravelly voice to go along with the perfect face and it made you smile. ‘And what can I do for you boys?’ You asked them leaning forwards onto the counter. You seen the smaller smile a little his eyes dropping for a split second from your face.

The taller one cleared his throat and you took your eyes from him and looked at his partner. Your eyes roamed their bodies. ‘We’re investigating the deaths in town and heard you might know something’ You shrugged at him. ‘I know a lot of thing about a lot of things for those who know the right questions to ask’ You smirked and he gave you a slight bitch face. ‘You know anything about the deaths?’ The smaller one got straight to the point.

You pursed your lips. ‘I knew them, good guys. Regulars at the dinner next door, wives are regulars in here. That’s about as much as I know’ You leaned back off the counter surveying them. They shared a glance. ‘You don’t remember anything suspicious about them? Any way they were acting before they died?’ The taller one quizzed not letting up. 

You sighed nodding. That perked their attention. ‘They were off yeah, usually nice guys. Turned into assholes overnight. Like they had no conscience’ You watched as they exchanged another look, as if they were communicating silently, having a full conversation with their eyes. ‘Like they’d lost every shred of sense of right and wrong they ever had, as if they didn’t have a soul’ You muttered.

Both their heads snapped towards you. ‘Excuse me?’ The taller one raised one eyebrow his head tilting slightly. The smaller one leaned forwards. ‘Did you say didn’t have a soul?’ He asked his eyes narrowing. You nodded. ‘You know, they did horrible things, didn’t care. Didn’t have a soul. It’s an expression down here boys’ You watched as the spark drained from them a little and they went back to the professional persona.

The shorter one cleared his throat and looked at his partner. ‘Well, I think that’s all we needed’ He looked back at you a smile on his face. ‘Thank you for your help’ He nodded. The taller one nodded thanking you as well. They turned and you watched them leave. You took a deep breath.

This was it, the moment you had been waiting for. ‘You two ain’t FBI are you? Those badges are fake’ You watched as they stopped. Their muscles tense and they shared a look as they turned. The shorter one had his hand on his back, a gun. And the taller was glaring at you suspiciously. That was all the answer you needed.

Bingo.

You smiled at them. ‘You two are Hunters’ You concluded for them. Then the short one pulled out his gun. He pointed it at you. ‘How’d you know that?’ He asked. You held up your hands in surrender. ‘I’ve met your kind before’ You told him. ‘Dean’ His partner reached out putting his hand on his arm. Dean lowered the gun but still stood ready. ‘I got you with that no soul thing. It was the proof I needed’ You explained.

The taller one nodded. ‘You want to explain how you know all this?’ You lowered your hands. ‘Turn the sign on the door’ You nodded to the open/close sign on the door. ‘Lock it and come into the back. I’ll explain everything, it’s about time you guys got here’ You turned and walked back through the curtain again.

It took them a few minutes to come through. You were sitting back on the sofa. You motioned to the chairs. The taller one took the armchair while Dean was left to sit beside you. ‘Explain’ He laid his gun on his lap. You closed your eyes leaning forwards. ‘You guys every heard of souleaters?’ You opened your eyes to see a confused look between them. ‘Hold up’ Your eyes widened. ‘You two, you’re the Winchesters’ Dean’s eyes narrow. ‘Sam and Dean’ You let out a laugh.

It would be just your luck you’d end up with the Winchesters working this case, they weren’t known to be very understanding to monsters. ‘Yes, we’re the Winchesters’ Sam gave Dean a glare as he confirmed your suspicions. ‘And we’ve never heard anything about any souleaters’ You nodded shrugging one shoulder. ‘Makes sense, we try to stay well off Hunter’s radars. Makes for a much easier and less stressful life’ Sam leaned forwards in his chair looking suspicious.

He narrowed his eyes and his body tensed to strike. ‘We?’ You nodded. All of a sudden Dean was on his feet. He had the gun pointed at your head. Sam was too reaching behind him to grab his own, which was in turn pointed at you as well. You leaned back in the chair holding your hands up. ‘Woah, woah. I ain’t gonna hurt you guys, I’m here to help. Put down the guns. I’ll tell you what’s going on’ You rushed your eyes widened. You groaned internally. Looks like you were going to have to take the fall for this one

Dean jerked his gun. ‘How about you just tell us now?’ You felt your heart begin to pound in your chest. He glared at you. You looked between the two of them frantically. Dean’s face was hard, a glare etched onto every perfect feature. Sam’s on the other hand was a little softer, and confusion written in his eyes. ‘Dean’ He lowered his gun. ‘Maybe we should give her a chance to explain’ Sam looked away from you to his brother.

You looked at him too. ‘She’s a monster Sam, she’s been taking people’s souls’ You shook your head frantically. ‘No, no I haven’t It’s not me’ He raised a brow. ‘I promise, I didn’t do that to those men, but I know who did and I can tell you how to kill them’ Dean watched you for a moment before lowering his gun. ‘Alright, talk’ He snapped.

You let out a long breath your body slumping. ‘Well, it’s another one of my kind, a soul-eater. She’s taking their whole soul. We’re not supposed to do that’ Sam was the first to sit down. When Dean looked at him he gave him a hard pointed look. Dean sighed loudly and sat back down. ‘We only take some of it, the bad bits it keeps us going. Like vamps and blood. If we take little bits from a lot of people we can get by, without attracting attention’ Sam nodded. ‘And someone’s started taking whole souls?’ You nodded.

Thank God he was starting to relax a little, even though Dean wasn’t. He was still looking at you as if you were evil. ‘Yeah, we’ve been waiting for you guys to show up and take her out. She broke the pact, we need her gone before she brings you guys down on all of us’ Dean furrowed his brows and shook his head. ‘Why can’t you just kill her? Why wait for us?’ You bit your lip.

You body slumped. ‘Our kind can’t kill our kind, the souls inside of us protect us, they deter us from killing one another. We need you to do it. I was hoping you’d come here first’ Dean nodded and shrugged. ‘So we’re a hired gun for you guys. ‘He furrowed his eyebrows. ‘Alright who is it?’ You took a moment to compose yourself and you gulped. ‘My sister’ You whispered.

Both of the boys went tense. They shared a quick glance. Dean leaned closer to you. ‘Your sister?’ You nodded slowly. ‘She owns the dinner next door, her. She’s been doing it’ You almost let yourself well up. But you couldn’t, she had brought this on herself. She had broken the rules, she was putting you all in danger. Yet she was still your sister.

Dean leaned back closing his eyes and ran a hand over his face. ‘You want us to kill your sister?’ Sam asked, his voice was hesitant and it sounded like he didn’t quite believe what he was hearing. You fiddled with your thumbs. ‘No, I don’t want you to’ You shrugged. ‘But you have to, before she gets us all killed. This is how we’ve survived so long. We don’t draw attention to ourselves’ Sam nodded.

Dean groaned. ‘Alright, how do we kill her?’ You stood and walked over to the cabinet the TV was resting on. You opened the doors and squatted down. There was an old wooden block in the back with some markings on it. Yu reached in taking it out. standing you turned and placed it on the coffee table. You rested your palm on the top. 

The markings began to glow a faint red and the block shifted slightly so there was a crack. You pulled back your hand. ‘It only opens for one of us, the markings mean it will only open for someone with more than one soul inside of them’ You opened the lid. Inside lay a long sharp dagger. The handle made of iron with marking very like the one on the box it was kept in. There was two ruins on either side of the silver blade.

You reached in and took it out of the box. ‘Stab her in the heart’ You told them as you held it out to Sam. ‘Please bring it back’ You whispered. He took it gingerly from you. ‘It’s only one of few ever made, every tribe has one, that’s ours’ You explained. He looked up from the blade that he somehow made look small and nodded. ‘She should be in the dinner until 9 tonight, she gets off work and leaves through the back into the alleyway before walking down to her apartment on Cove Street. You’ll have to get her between there and her house’ You told them as they listened carefully to your every word. ‘You’ll have to kill her husband too if you don’t’ You closed the lid of the box before turning and putting it back into the cabinet. ‘It’s only 5, you’re welcome to wait here’ You told them turning a tear running down your cheek.

You walked back into the back of the shop. The boys had settled on the sofa. Sam looked up at you giving you a small smile. ‘I just seen my brother go into the dinner, Elissa should be leaving soon’  You told them as you went over to the small kitchen taking a glass from the press. You reached over grabbing the bourbon. ‘Are you sure you want us to do this?’ You looked at Dean as he stood. He had a sad look on his face as he walked towards you. ‘We have tried to talk to her, she won’t listen. It has to be done’ You nodded downing the bourbon in the glass.

Dean’s hand landed on your shoulder and he squeezed. It was then that you noticed you were alone with him. Sam had gone to the front of the shop to watch the dinner more than likely. ‘Be careful, she’s a fiery one’ You told him. He nodded. ‘Dean, we should go’ Sam’s head popped through the curtains. Dean nodded not taking his eyes from you. He turned and picked up the dagger before you closed your eyes listening to the two of them leave.

It was almost an hour later and you were pacing the back of the shop. They should have been back by now, unless your Elissa had gotten the best of them. If she had she would know you had sent them, that wouldn’t end well. You closed your eyes letting the tears roll down your face. Either way you were losing a sister, she was dead or your entire family was dead, she’d have you all killed.

You jumped when there was a knock on the back door. You rushed for it, freezing when you realised it could be her. ‘Y/n’ A deep voice called through the door. ‘It’s me, Dean’ You let out a long breath as you unlocked the door and pushed it open. He stood his shirt covered in blood. You eyes widened your hand going to your mouth. ‘It’s not mine’ He reached out holding the dagger out to you.

You gulped as tears began to roll faster down your face. ‘S-shes dead?’ Your voice was muffled by your hand. Dean nodded slowly. You closed your eyes a sob shaking your body. You were surprised when you felt arms wrap around you. Dean pulled you into his chest his hand stroking your hair. ‘It’s okay, it’s okay Y/n’ He cooed as he held you.

You pulled away from him and took the dagger. ‘Wheres Sam?’ You stepped away wiping your tears from your face. ‘He went back to the Motel’ You nodded as he stepped inside. ‘Are you okay? You just lost your sister tonight’ He asked as you closed the door behind him. ‘It wouldn’t be the first one I lost’ You laid the dagger by the sink and grabbed the bourbon. ‘You want a drink?’ Dean nodded. ‘There’s a spare top in the box by the chair Dean’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘It’s my brothers’ You explained pouring out two glasses.

You watched him strip off the shirt your eyes roaming his body. ‘Having second thought about giving me a top?’ He smirked, you walked towards him holding out the glass to him. ‘Having thoughts about you not in any clothes at all’ You teased. His eyebrows shot up his eyes widening. ‘I’m only kidding Dean’ He nodded reaching out and took the glass from your and. He sucked his bottom lip between his teeth. You sat on the sofa watching him.

He rolled his shoulders and you watched the muscles in his back roll under the tanned skin. He dropped back onto the seat without his shirt. He downed the amber liquid in the glass leaning forwards putting it on the table. ‘If you weren’t’ He turned to you looking you straight in the eyes. ‘I don’t think I’d have a problem with it’ He gave you a sly smirk.

You downed the rest of your drink and put the glass on the table. Turning you met his bright green eyes again. You leaned forwards and pressed your lips to his. He grunted and wrapped his arms around you pulling you closer to him. You shifted and threw your leg over his lap straddling him. His hand slid down to your ass pulling your body flush against his.

You smiled remembering that night, it was almost a year ago last week. That was the night you lost something important in your life, but gained something else. You flicked your wrist again and the toy shook in your hand. Your three month old girl giggled in her crib. She reached up grabbing at the toy. She was the light in your life. Your little Ellie Mary Y/l/n. You handed her the toy. ‘You have your father's eyes Ellie’ You leaned on the crib.

You booped her little nose as her bright green eyes landed on you and she giggled again.

@lilacs-lavender

You Tell Him You’re Pregnant

You fiddled with the pages of the book in front of you biting your lip. ‘Y/n’ Dean smiled as him and Sam walked in the motel door. ‘Hey’ You stood walking over to him. You pressed a kiss to his cheek before doing the same to Sam. ‘How was it? You get her?’ You asked. Sam nodded. ‘We got her’ You walked back to the table closing the book.

You were on a hunt in Nevada. A werewolf, the boys were just after coming back from ganking her right now. You had declined from going saying you were going to pass this one up. You knew how strong and aggressive werewolves were and you shouldn’t be thrown around the place, not in your condition.

Dean held up a beer. You shook your head sitting back down. He furrowed his eyebrows. ‘You feeling better?’ Sam asked ignoring his brother. Realization flashed across Dean’s face as he remembered you being sick this morning. ‘Yeah, yeah. I’m fine now, thanks’ You smiled at Sam and looked at Dean.

You had no idea how you were going to tell him, the two of you weren’t even together. You were just seeing each other when things got tough, when the two of you felt like it you jumped into bed together. It wasn’t anything serious. You remembered the night two months ago when you were both were drunk, it must have been that night. You both always made sure to take precautions every other time. You couldn’t remember if you had that night or not. The two of you hadn’t been together for the last month.

Dean sat down across from you. ‘You okay?’ He asked pulling you from your thoughts. ‘You’ve been acting off for the last few days’ He leaned forwards his elbows on the table. ‘Yep fine. I need a shower’ You stood walking over to your bag pulling a large shirt out of it before closing the bathroom door behind you.

After a long shower you walked back out into the room. ‘Where’s Sam?’ you asked Dean as he sat on the edge of the bed watching the TV, some stupid sit-com. ‘Gone out to get food’ You smiled before walking over to your bag again dropping your old clothes into it. ‘Good, I’m starving’ You grumbled as you stood stretching your back. 

You jumped when you felt hands on your hips. Dean pulled you back into him. His chest pressed firmly against your back. He leaned forwards his lips grazing your skin of your neck. You sighed closing your eyes leaning into him. ‘We have time though’ He leaned forwards and sucked on your skin. You sighed and his hands moved to your torso pulling you back.

Your eyes snapped open and you pulled away. He grunted as you stumbled from his arms. You turned looking up at him. He watched you his eyes full of hurt. ‘I-we-I can’t’ You mumbled. Dean’s lips parted and he sighed. He raised his hand running it over his face. ‘That’s why you’ve been so off. You don’t want to do this’ He groaned. ‘Dean, no,no’ You stepped forwards grabbing his arm.

He looked down at you. ‘There-it’s not that’ You told him your voice quiet. ‘Then what is it? You’ve refused to hunt, refused to drink, you were sick this morning y-’ He froze his eyes wide. ‘You aren’t sick are you? Like badly? You’re okay right?’ He stepped forwards taking your face in his hands. 

You frantically shook your head. ‘No, I’m not sick. I-I’m-’ You took in a deep breath. ‘I think you should sit down’ You put your hands on his chest pushing him back until he hit the bed. His knees buckled and he sat down on the bed. ‘Okay, please don’t freak out’ You breathed.

Dean reached out taking your hands in his. ‘You’re beginning to get freaky Y/n’ His tongue darted out from between his lips, it caught his bottom lip pulling it back into his mouth so he could hold it between his teeth. ‘I-’ Your mouth dried up. What if he didn’t want the baby? He had always made it clear he didn’t want to drag someone into this mess, he didn’t even want a partner why the hell would he want a kid? Maybe you should just tell him you were leaving? That was you wouldn’t have to bring him into this, or bring a kid into this either.

Dean squeezed your hands pulling you from your thoughts. ‘Y/n, you what?’ His voice pulled you from your thoughts again. You bit your lip your eyes tearing up a little. ‘I’m pregnant’ You choked out. Dean’s eyes widened. He stood quickly. ‘It’s yours’ You felt a tear break free and roll down your cheek. ‘A-are you sure?’ He breathed his body tense. You nodded. You watched him, watching every reaction he had as if he was going to blow within the next few seconds.

Then a large smile broke out on his face. It reached those beautiful green eyes causing the sides of them to crinkle. ‘You’re pregnant’ You seen his eyes water with unshed tears, happy tears. You felt all the tension leave your body at once. One of his hands let go of yours and came up to cover his beaming lips. His eyes trailed down your body landing on your stomach.

Then he looked back up at you. He dropped his hand from his face, pure joy was the only thing you could see. ‘Yeah? Really? The baby’s mine?’ You nodded. ‘Definitely yours, ours’ Dean reached out his hand grabbing the back of your neck. He pulled you to him. He let go of your hand and wrapped his other arm around you. ‘I’m gonna be a Dad, we’re having a kid’ He breathed as you wrapped your arms around him

It was a while before he let go of you. ‘You shouldn’t be standing for too long’ He turned you and made you sit on the edge of the bed. ‘How far along are you?’ He asked kneeling in front of you. You finally let a smile grace your face. He was happy, Dean was happy. He wanted this baby,He wanted this. The sparkle in his eyes told you that. ‘Probably two months’ You whispered. Dean nodded.

He reached out and place his hand on your stomach. ‘My baby’ Dean breathed his eyes on his hand. ‘I can’t believe it’ The smile on his face hadn’t faded since you had told him. ‘I’m gonna be a dad’ He looked up at you. You nodded tears filling your eyes, happy tears. You reached out caressing his cheek.

Both your heads snapped to the side when you heard the door open. Sam stopped in the doorway. ‘What’s up?’ He raised an eyebrow stepping inside tentatively. ‘I’m gonna be a Dad Sammy’ Dean laughed standing. ‘Me and Y/n are having a baby’ Sam’s jaw dropped open. ‘A-a baby? You two are-?’ He gestured between you two and you nodded remembering you hadn’t told Sam.

Dean nodded with a laugh. ‘Thought you knew Sammy’ Dean laughed. You stood as Dean walked over to his brother. ‘You’re gonna be an uncle Sam’ He stopped in front of him. Then Sam began to laugh. ‘I’m happy for you both man’ He reached out pulling Dean into a hug. You watched them as they hugged and laughed.

Dean pulled away from his brother and looked back at you. ‘I guess I should be congratulating you too’ Sam strode forwards pulling you into a hug. ‘Woah’ Dean shouted rushing forwards. Sam was pried off you. ‘Watch it, you can’t be as rough with her anymore’ Dean wrapped his arm around your shoulders. His other hand gently rested on your abdomen. You rolled your eyes but couldn’t fight the smile. ‘How about we eat then?’ Sam chuckled at his brother’s reaction.

Dean nodded guiding you to the table. Sam laid out the food in front of you. You watched the two boys as they began to eat and talked about the baby. This definitely wasn’t going to be as bad as you thought. The smile hadn’t left either of their faces since finding out. Dean reached out and took your hand. You smiled at him before picking up your own burger.

Dean’s hand pulled from yours and you felt it on your stomach rubbing soothing circles over your shirt. You looked to the side to find him smiling fondly down at his hand. In that moment one thought crossed your mind

Dean was going to be a good Dad.

 Remember Me - Dean Winchester Imagine

Dean x reader

Summary: You go on a hunt and encounter a witch, who has her own fun before you kill her.

The bright light seared your eyes and you felt your body leave the ground. Your body hit the wall and you flopped onto the floor. The world spun as you pushed yourself up. ‘You know what’s worse than the person you love dying?’ A woman knelt beside you. You looked up at her. Witch, you were hunting her, she was a witch. ‘Is when they’re still there and don’t love you. That’ll show that boy of your, maybe he won’t be so quick to kill someone’s husband next time’ You lunged at her pushing her onto the ground. Reaching beside you you grabbed the knife and brought it down.

You rolled off her letting out a long breath. You rubbed your head, you felt like you were forgetting something. You felt disorientated. You pinched your brow standing. ‘Y/n’ Your head snapped towards the doorway. Sam stood blocking the view of the hallway almost covering the whole door. ‘She’s dead’ You nodded at him. ‘Hey, everything okay here?’ Someone pushed Sam out of the way.

Your eyes widened. His eyes landed on the witch. ‘You killed her’ He stated. If you weren’t so worried about him calling the cops you’d have been struck by what a stunning man he was. He was tall, broad muscled and those eyes, those bright green candy apple eyes. You felt a sudden urge to plant your lips on his, but that would be unprofessional. Although you couldn’t help the pull you had towards this bow legged man and have him carry you away in those strong arms.

 You held out your hand towards him. ‘It’s okay Sir’ You told him in the calmest voice you could muster. ‘Me and my partner here, we’re FBI. It was necessary’ He froze furrowing his eyebrows. Him and Sam shared a confused look, it looked like they knew each other. Then he started to laugh. ‘Funny, sweetheart’ He shook his head. ‘Next time I’ll be here sooner, point taken’ He stepped into the room.

You furrowed your eyebrows. ‘Sir’ You snapped. The man stopped looking at you. ‘I would suggest you turn around and go home’ You stepped towards him. ‘Alright joke over, I get it Y/n’ You tilted your head to the side. ‘How do you know my name?’ You narrowed your eyes. Again the two of them shared a look.

Sam stepped towards a wary look on his face. ‘Y/n, are you feeling okay?’ He asked quietly. ‘Yes, yes I’m perfectly fine Sam’ Pretty boy groaned and threw his arms up into the air. ‘Really? He was here like 10 seconds before me and it’s only me who gets this’ Okay to say you were confused now was definitely an understatement.

Sam sent him he’s classic bitch face. ‘Y/n, did the witch his you with anything?’ You furrowed your eyebrows. ‘Y/n, babe, it’s me’ The man stepped closer to you. ‘Me? You say that like I’m supposed to know you’ You shook your head looking at your hunting partner. ‘Sam, who the hell is this?’ Sam’s eyes widened. The man’s breath hitched and lip lip trembled.

Sam gulped. ‘Y/n, this is my brother Dean, your Fiance’ You felt like someone had punched you in the gut.

You threw your head back and laughed. ‘Don’t be ridiculous Sam, you don’t have a brother’ You shook your head. The smaller man, Dean seemingly, stepped forwards. ‘Babe, I swear if this is some kind of joke it’s gotten old’ He growled. Your laughter stopped immediately. ‘A joke? Yeah, this is a joke, well done guys, not tell me, who are you really? Another Hunter?’ You crossed your arms over your chest.

Sam looked at him. ‘Dean, I-I think she’s serious’ He whispered fear evident in his voice. Sam looked back at you Dean’s eyes were focused on you. ‘Y-you really don’t know who I am?’ He breathed. You wanted to tell him yes, you wanted to take the heartbroken look from his face. But you couldn’t , so you shook your head. Then they began to water. Just watching him tear up watching that one perfect tear spill from his eye and roll down his cheek broke your heart. 

It ripped you in two, you wanted to take him in your arms and make it all go away. It was the strongest reaction you had to anyone crying in your entire life, it was like his pain hit you too, ripping your own heart in two as you watched his being crushed. It made you think, maybe you did know him. Maybe you did know this Dean.

Then he turned and strode from the room. You watched him go, his perky ass prominent through his jeans. Something inside you screamed at you to follow him, but your feet were stuck to the spot you were standing. It was when he disappeared from your view that you finally obeyed. You began to move towards the door, following this man. ‘Y/n, you shou-’ Sam stepped in front of you.

You reached out grabbing his arm. You threw your body at him catching him off guard, you spun his throwing him up against the wall. You sprinted by him following his brother. ‘Hey’ You called when you caught sight of him. He was walking towards a sleek black 67′ Impala. He turned as you stayed running towards him. ‘Y-you remember me?’ He breathed as you came to a stop in front of him.

You shook your head. ‘No, but I know I’m supposed to. I know I am’ His jaw clenched and you bit your lip. ‘I-I’m sorry’ You felt your own tears welling up. Dean’s eyes widened and he reached forwards. His hand grabbed the back of your neck and he pulled you to him. He wrapped his arms around you. ‘Don’t cry sweetheart, we’ll figure it out’ He ran his thumb along your hairline and you shivered relaxing into him.

You felt at home in his arms. He knew how to calm you, knew that rubbing the back of your neck calmed you. You reached around him wrapping your arms around his torso, they felt right there, like they had been there before. ‘We’ll figure it out’ He pressed a kiss to your head and you couldn’t help the overwhelming feeling of love that swelled inside you. You couldn’t help but relax into him.

You heard someone clear their throat behind you. ‘Well you may not remember him but you definitely remember how to kick ass’ You pulled away to see Sam walking out of the house. ‘Sorry’ You shrugged stepping away from Dean. ‘I-I-’ you chewed on your lip. ‘I-he was crying-I didn’t like seeing him crying’ You shrugged and rubbed the back of your neck. ‘Alright, let’s get you back to the bunker, we can call Cas there’ Dean put his hand on the small of your back turning you towards the car. He pulled keys out of his pocket and tossed them to Sam. ‘Drive’ He told him opening the door for you.

For the first hour you all sat in silence. Sam was driving and you and Dean sat in the back of the car. ‘Is this yours?’ You asked Dean running your fingers over the leather seats. Dean nodded. ‘Yeah, this is Baby’ Dean patted the eat fondly. He must really love his car. ‘She’s beautiful, even though I don’t like cars’ Dean chuckled a little. ‘I know but you still love Baby’ He smiled up at you but you could still see the sadness in his eyes.

You hesitantly reached out putting your hand on his. It was then that you caught sight on the ring on your finger. Dean turned his hand and laced his fingers through yours. ‘Is what Sam said true?’ You whispered. ‘What?’ Dean furrowed his eyebrows. ‘About the Fiance thing’ You pulled your hand from his and looked at the simple, yet perfect ring on your finger. ‘I bought you that three months ago’ Dean reached out and took your hand in his again.

He ran his finger over the silver band. ‘It’s beautiful’ You smiled widely at him. He nodded. You sat in silence again. After a moment you pulled your hand away from his and reached into your back pocket. You pulled out your phone and typed in the pass code. ‘You remember’ You looked up at Dean. ‘What?’ He nodded towards your phone. ‘You remember your pass code’ You chuckled a little. ‘Yeah I should it was-’ You paused. 

What exactly was the significance of those four numbers, and they were significant. You knew they were, they were something really important. They were something important to someone. ‘My birthday, that’s my birthday’ Dean smiled. He scooted closer to you sitting in the middle. ‘You remember my birthday’ He beamed. ‘This is good, that’s good’ He nodded speaking to himself more than you.

You felt bad for the guy, he was clinging onto anything that indicated you remembered him. Anything that meant you knew him. You were sure you did, you were sure you knew him, to some extent. But he was talking about marriage here, and hunters don’t marry. That was something that didn’t happen, something you had resigned yourself to. And this man was telling you you two were engaged.

You got why you would want to marry him, he seemed kind, sweet, like a genuine man, and handsome too. You got that much but would you really do it? Would you really put yourself out there that much? After everything you’d seen would you really fall in love and marry someone. ‘I just typed it in, just absentmindedly’ You told him, you didn’t want him to get his hopes up only to be dashed. ‘But I didn’t remember the significance of it’ He shrugged.

A smile still on his face. ‘But you knew it was something significant. That’s something’ You opened your mouth to say something but the look of hope in your eyes was something that seemed foreign there, and you didn’t want to talk it away. ‘I guess it is’ You looked back down at your phone.

You took in a breath when you seen the screensaver. It was you and him. You were sitting on the hood of Baby. You had your tongue sticking out at Dean and your hand was on his cheek. He was lounging on the hood of the car as well. His hand was on you thigh and he was laughing. ‘That was a good day’ Dean smiled and he leaned closer. ‘I have a photo from that day too as mine’ He reached into his pocket pulling out his phone.

You watched him type in his pass code. ‘That’s my birthday’ You breathed, he glanced at you from the corner of his eye nodding as you leaned over looking at the photo. Baby wasn’t in this one. It was just you and him. He had his arms around your waist as he stood behind you. He was smiling looking at the camera. You had your head tilted back, one of your hands were on his arm and the other on the back of his head pulling him forwards. You were leaning up pressing your lips to his jaw.

You looked up at Dean. ‘It was your birthday, a few months ago’ You furrowed your eyebrows. you could remember it, it was blurry and pieces were missing. The only thinking you could properly remember was time spent with Sam and Cas. ‘I can’t remember my birthday’ You breathed closing your eyes. 

Now that you thought about it you couldn’t remember a lot of the last few years, it wasn’t that you had forgotten. You remembered it, you knew it happened you remembered who with but there was bits that were blurry. You couldn’t see it clearly but you knew it was there. ‘I-I can’t remember’ You dropped your phone on your lap bringing your hands up to your face.

You felt your resolve crumbling. The sobs shook your body. You were missing a large amount of the last few years. Your life was gone, everything you had done with this man was gone. Someone you loved enough to marry, to risk being in love with in this life, to publicly make him a target for anyone who didn’t like you. You loved him, a lot seemingly. And you had forgotten him.

You tensed as you felt arms wrap around you. ‘Babe, it’s okay you will remember. We’ll make sure of it’ You heard Dean say and you were pulled into his chest. ‘It’s okay Babe’ His voice strained and shaking. He was crying, you were both crying. You pulled your legs up to your chest turning into him. ‘I-I can’t remember you Dean’ You sobbed. He tightened his grip on you. ‘You’ll remember. You’ll remember me, you will’ You pulled away from his taking your hands from your face.

You caught Sam shifting awkwardly in the front of the car. You felt sorry for him, he would have to deal with both you and Dean being emotional. ‘But what if I don’t? What if she got rid of my memories completely? What if I never remember you?’ Your tears kept coming. Dean reached up and wiped your cheeks. ‘Then we’ll make new ones, we’re still here. We’ve got each other, that’s all we need sweetheart’ He smiled sadly at you.

You shook your head. ‘I can’t’ You pulled away from him. ‘I can’t not remember you’ You looked down at your finger the diamond twinkling on your finger. ‘I can’t not remeber this, I have to remember our life Dean’ Dean opened his mouth but whatever he was going to say considered and just wrapped his arms around you again pulling you to him. ‘We’ll be fine. I promise’ He kissed your head.

You grumbled when someone jostled you in your sleep. ‘Sorry sweetheart’ You heard a deep voice above you. You felt yourself being lowered onto something soft. ‘Go back to sleep’ You opened your eyes yawning softly. ‘Dean?’ Dean’s head snapped towards you. ‘Yeah’ He dropped to his knees beside the bed. He took your hand in his. ‘You remember? You remember me?’ He watched you with wide eyes his lips parted a hopeful look on his face. ‘Not the way you want me to’ You whispered.

You watched as the hope disappeared from his eyes. His shoulders slumped and he nodded slowly. His tongue darted out between his lips. Your heart broke at the sight. You chest tightening. ‘I’m making dinner, do you want any?’ He tried to shake off how sad he looked putting a fake smile on his face. ‘I’m making your favourite?’ He raised an eyebrow. ‘The big burger?’ You chanced. He smirked nodding. ‘My own invention, you’re remembering’ He smiled standing. 

You shrugged not wanting to tell him that you were convinced Cas was the one who had made it for you. You furrowed your eyebrows, everything was beginning to clear. Only where had been blurry was beginning to fill with Castiel's presence. ‘Dean’ /You reached out grabbing his arm. ‘We need to call Cas, see if he knows anything’ Dean nodded. ‘Sam’s called him’ He reached out rubbing your hand that was on his arm.

You sat at the table eating the burger Dean had made for you. He sat beside you with a scrapbook. Inside it was loads of photos. Each one of them had a date and description written under them, all in your handwriting. You pointed to a photo of you and him standing in the bunker by a christmas tree. ‘It was a surprise for Sammy, he wanted a christmas so we sent him out to get a crazy shopping list and when he came back the bunker was decorated’ He explained what was going on in the photo. What you didn’t tell him is you thought it was Cas who had helped you decorate

You nodded pointing at another one. It was you Sam, Dean and Cas standing in a field, it was dark and there were trees behind you. ‘That’s New Years, we had just finished up a nasty case, Sam had hurt his shoulder. We drove to the middle of nowhere and Cas got fireworks for us. We let them off and I kissed you at midnight. We sat in that field for hours just drinking and letting off fireworks’ You ran your finger over the photo.

The flap of wings distracted you and you looked up. ‘Hello’ Castiel smiled. You let a large smile grace your features. ‘Cas’ You slid out of the chair and threw your arms around the Angel. He chuckled and patted your back. ‘Y/n, Sam said you were in trouble’ You nodded. ‘I am’ He pushed you back looking you over. ‘You seem fine’ He furrowed his eyebrows. ‘She can’t remember me’ Dean grumbled behind you and you pulled away from Castiel. 

You hadn’t meant to get so excited around Cas. That must have hurt him. His fiance getting excited when  another man pops into the room and she can’t even remember his name. You smiled sadly at him before going over to sit beside him. ‘Can you fix it?’ Cas sat across from you. ‘Tell me what happened? How did you forget Dean?’ You nodded before launching into the story about the hunt.

Castiel looked at Dean. ‘Did you kill the witches husband?’ Dean nodded. ‘Well, it was definitely revenge, I will go look into it and be back’ With that he was gone. You looked up at Dean. ‘I’ll be back in a minute’ Dean stood walking away. You watched him go sitting in silence ‘There’s something else’ Sam sat down where Cas had a minute ago. you sighed. ‘The burger, the christmas trees. I always remember it as Castiel, not Dean’ Sam nodded pursing his lips. ‘Your brain probably can’t handle not knowing, it’s filling in the blanks how it can. Cas was with you when Dean made you the burger for the first time, Cas took that photo. Cas introduced you and Dean in the first place, maybe it was your subconscious linking them’ Sam shrugged.

You nodded and sat in silence until Dean got back. ‘Alright, what’s next?’ Dean sat back down looking at the scrap book again. ‘This one’ You pointed to a photo of you and Dean sitting in the library. He chuckled nodding. ‘That was just a normal day. Me and you fell asleep on one of the chairs. I was sitting there and you came over with this book, it was in latin, and you sat on my lap reading it. An hour later you were asleep’ He told the story with a fond smile. ‘I fell asleep soon after, I didn’t want to wake you up’ You reached out and took his hand.

He looked up at you with a tear in his eye. You reached up and wiped the tear as it began to roll down his cheek. He smiled and you smiled back. ‘I found a cure’ You both jumped away from Dean. Castiel stood behind Sam with a smile on his face. ‘It was a memory spell, it put a block on your memories, that is why they are so hazy and blurry’ He held out a small vial.

You reached out hesitantly taking it from him. ‘It is safe, you do not need to worry about taking it’ You bit your lip. You popped open the lid and took a sniff. It smelt sour and your nose wrinkled up in disgust. ‘It doesn’t smell great’ You muttered before looking at Dean. He had that hopeful look in his eyes again. He was smiling but trying to keep it slightly hidden. You would be drinking something none of you knew about, he was worried.

You smiled at him before you raised it to your lips and let the liquid flow down your throat.

Your head was pounding when the room came into focus. You weren’t in the kitchen though you were lying on the bed. ‘Y/n’ Dean leaned forwards and smoothed your hair from your face.  ‘Hey’ You smiled up at him. He smiled down at you, but there was something behind his eyes. Worry, hurt, fear. ‘Remember me?’ He breathed. You nodded. ‘Every detail, although I wish I couldn’t remember that weekend in Wisconsin’ Dean’s eyes lit up at your words. 

A smile spread across his face ‘You remember me’ He leaned forwards smashing his lips to yours. ‘You remember me’ You could feel the tear from his eyes dropping on your cheek as he kissed you. You pulled away. ‘Worst five hours ever’ He grumbled but smiled anyway. ‘I love you Y/n’ He chuckled and kissed you again, like his life depended on it.

I’d like to thank everyone who reads my writing !! You guys are amazing, thank you for reading them. It means the world to me, thank you <3 I love you guys

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