Consent - Tumblr Posts
Love of my life, haiku bot
We talk a lot about consent, and that’s a good thing. We talk a lot about autonomy, and that’s a good thing. We talk a lot about privacy, and that’s a good thing.
But we talk mostly about all of that in respect to sex, and relationships, and it’s important to remember this applies to other things, too.
If someone says, “don’t tell anyone I got this new job,” and you then tell people, you’ve violated their consent, their privacy, and their autonomy.
If a friend says, “I don’t like it when people touch my hair,” and you keep touching their hair, you have violated their consent, their autonomy, and their privacy.
If a coworker asks you not to tease them about their new boyfriend, even if it seems like gentle and friendly fun to you, and you do it, you’ve violated their consent, their autonomy, and their privacy.
People remember these things, and they hurt. Not as much as sexual assault, obviously. But those small violations of your wishes, those instances of disrespect, still hurt, and they can add up.
Consent doesn’t just apply to sex. Respect the wishes of others.
NO MEANS NO
I RISE. To tell people that no means fucking no and in no way, in any god forsaken world does it mean yes. Anyway who disagrees can fucking fight me, I'll slaughter you and then shit on your dead body.
That’s all, next time expect me to post about some game or something
I love Kanej, but I was a bit angry at Inej for her "I want you without your armour or not at all" comment.
Kaz, the bastard of the Barrel, who always kept a distance to anyone, admits that he wants and needs Inej and she pushes him to go beyond his bounderies. Most people liked this scene. I didn’t. What if it had been the other way around? If Inej kept thinking about the menagerie each time Kaz touches her and he keeps insisting that she lets him? Everybody would hate him for it. Consent is important, no matter if it is the man or the woman not ready to take a step, no matter if we are talking about sex or nonsexual intimicy.
Inej surely meant no harm, but she basically told Kaz that he can have a relationship to her terms or no relationship. That's not okay. Pressuring or persuading someone to take a step in a relationship they are not comfortable with is not okay. It's abuse. And Inej should be the last person to abuse someone in any way.
I'm trying to raise awareness for these kinds of abuse, where neither the abuser nor the abused realize that it is abuse. Like with my Ex boyfriend who kept touching my breasts and my arse in public, no matter how often I told him that this makes me ashamed. He told me this was unnormal and that I had to work on myself to be able to allow this. It was my first relationship and I was insecure, I questioned myself. Today I would tell him that it doesn't matter if my issues are normal or not. That no means no and it leaves no room for discussion.
I have touch aversion, too. Not as bad as Kaz, but it is an issue. I can accept touches from people I have a deep emotional connection to and I always have to see the touch coming. I experience people going over my bounderies without bad intention constantly. Just this week I had a painful dentist appointment and the dentist tried to calm me by petting my arm. I had to tell her again and again to stop doing this because it's making things worse. She did it kind of subconciously and didn’t realize that this was an act of violence to me. In situations like these I think about how Kaz must be feeling when the person he trusts most, maybe the only person he trusts completely, doesn't accept his bounderies.
I think Kaz is in a similar situation like I was with my Ex. Inej is his first love and he doesn't want to lose her. He wants to please her. But going over his bounderies isn't the right way I think. Slowly trying what he can do without feeling repulsed would be better (over-clothes touching, touching with gloves, touching hair instead of skin...). If this leads to him being able to enjoy skin to skin touches that's good. But if it doesn't it shouldn't be a reason to give up on the whole relationship.
it's fucking horrific how family members think consent for non sexual intimacy isn't real. I struggle with physical contact unless it's someone I'm romantically involved with, so hugs and pecks on the cheek from family are a no no. unfortunately this doesn't seem to stop them, since apparently their needs are more important than My boundaries.
Hot Take on Fanfiction Today!
I myself love fanfiction! I fact, I mostly prefer them over canon works, and consume those daily. I have my OTP's, a favourite writer and a list of fandoms I regulairly visit.
One thing I always make sure if is that the characters i ship are fictional, for example; anime / book characters or the protagonist of a movie series.
Real life people are Actors, Musicians, Celebrities. I will never, ever read work about those.
Those are real life people. Unlike fictional characters, they have real emotions and can give / withdraw consent. Consent which we don't have when we post our works publicly.
I honestly don't care if they ever said something along the lines of 'I don't mind fanfics' or 'I favour those'. That is not real consent for posting a hardcore p*rn fic with their names on it for thousands of strangers to see.
And im so fucking sick of seeing works like those spread out all across the internet.
It may not 'hurt anyone', but it's a direct breach and attack on their privacy and human dignity.
I don't care about soft fluffy cuddel fics with self insert charas. Those are questionable, but acceptable. But Real People Fanfics? If you want to write those, just share them with your friends, and don't post them for all the world too see.
You're just dehumanizing the celebrity you claim to care for, and using them (or the idea of them) for nonconsensual p*rn.
Don't normalise that shit please. It's not ok.
(If there is a point I did not see, or a really good counter argument, please write me. Otherwise, stfu)
I found this article just to show it to a certain person who thinks that shipping them is ok, but I decided to share it here just in case there is any other sick bastard who thinks it is ok to ship them or in case someone does not know consent is important...
(via Gridllr)
cannot stop thinking about how good the fabrication of consent in squid game was… like yeah, the participants consent! over and over, from agreeing to the slapping game to ringing up the number of their own accord to meeting at the location to signing a separate sheet once more upon arrival… they can even disband the game if the majority decrees it. but this is all performative. because of course they’ll agree - of course they’ll come back.
the second episode is even all about addressing this ‘consent’, and that potential audience superiority: “so why don’t they just leave???? if they can??? why did they even do all this to start with?? it’s so extreme, to do all that just for money, i would never”
because, the show says, look at what they’re returning to. look at the life that’s offered as their alternative. debt up to their ears, money-brokers beating them up, poverty at its worst. do you see? do you see how yeah, joining that game is optional, but it’s optional in the sense of choosing to be stabbed or shot: theres consent, but not actual desire. that theres agreement, but under exploitation. there’s a reason only poor people are chosen to compete and it’s so obvious but i fucking love how the show handles it and addresses any audience superiority anyway
I've been trying to teach this to my son. Teaching about consent in any form is insanely important.
So my friends have a little boy, he’s like 2.5 and they’re already teaching him about consent. He has this friend at daycare, a little girl, and the other day he wanted to hug her goodbye but she didn’t want him to, and his dad said “No, buddy, not everybody wants hugs and she doesn’t so you have to just wave goodbye.” He was sad and confused for a sec but then he was just like “K bye” and waved. Later that night, he tried to pet the cat but she ran away and he was just like “[cat’s name] just wave bye, not hug!” Like he got it. Immediately. Teach kids about consent as early as possible. They’ll get it.
DxP REWRITE - Fully Informed
Over the 2 years since Legends Arceus, people have learned to live with Pokémon more comfortably, & vice versa. There hasn’t been a whole lot of reconstruction here in Jubilife Village yet, as I imagined they put more of their energy into developing the villages at the survey camps around Hisui (which will eventually become the towns & cities around Sinnoh - there’s an NPC at one of the camps who says they were thinking of putting a village there). But they may be doing some building up, as more people come by Prelude Beach. 🍃
You can probably guess who taught Mizumi that habit of hiding her expression under her cap (hint: he’s in the last panel lol). As for what her reasons are for staying, that’s a story for another time.
🔼 Diamond x Pearl: REWRITE 🔽
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normalize not having sex until you feel comfortable :) normalize not having sex until you meet the right person :) no matter your age! :) i mean it! in your teens! your 20s! your 30s! :) also normalize these things without automatically tying them to some kind of religious or abstinence-based reasoning :)
Why is the concept of asking for consent even an argument? "Read her signals" you cant even read a book, Steve
Men quite literally have 0 respect for women as human beings. This is an article about a type of rape, and Shaun thinks it’s a good idea to spread tips on how have unprotected sex without your partner’s permission, in a way that you’re even less likely to face any consequences (you’re already incredibly unlikely to face consequences for rape, esp rape by deceit). Men get mad that women don’t trust them, but it’s proven time and time again we have no reason to.