Benoit Blanc - Tumblr Posts

Why is nobody talking about these two and how unstoppable they would be??

put the white album on, love

BENOIT BLANC in GLASS ONION: A KNIVES OUT MYSTERY (2022)

Benoit Blanc really is the most guy ever. He’s a world famous detective. He’s played by a British man but has a fake country accent. He dresses like a cartoon character and smokes cigars. He hates mystery games because he sucks at them. He plays video games with his friends in the bath over discord. He has a soft spot pathetic, righteous, panicky women. He makes up words on the fly. He’s gay. He hates rich people.

im so obsessed w funky lil detective benoit blanc and his husband phillip glassonion, whose pathetic malewife demeanour has bewitched me body and soul

regular ascot-loving-mystery-solving family

obsessed with his cute little swimsuit

sorry

I hope Rian Johnson knows how much I needed this

I also think that all the "um okay knives out & glass onion were good. Wrap it up now" posts are so funny. You're tripping if you think there's not going to be at least five Benoit Blanc films lol

Glass Onion’s murder mystery game

Obsessed with Miles Bron in Glass Onion choosing a murder mystery game as the entertainment for his private weekend getaway with his closest friends. An activity to provide structure to what would otherwise be 3 days lazing about on a Greek isle with his “friends.” A game that requires an intensive weekend of solo investigation and observation and puzzle-solving…which Miles himself will not have to participate in. 

Miles has assigned his “friends” homework for their weekend holiday. And their assigned task is to labor and compete to impress him by solving a mystery. It’s no coincidence that the mystery game compels his friends to work separately. He has isolated his friends so that he can remain their individual focus. Note that Miles hasn’t bothered to come up with an actual prize for the winner…because to his mind, the ultimate prize is Miles’s respect. He’s flummoxed and insulted when Benoit Blanc requests a physical reward—and something as comparably worthless as an iPad.

So of course Miles’s friends are relieved when Benoit Blanc blows up the game. Because it means the pressure to perform is off. The pressure to provide the entertainment for Miles, because make no mistake, they’ve been invited to the island to entertain Miles and keep him happy. Honestly, ever since they took his side in the trial, that invitation has become a summons. Can you imagine any of them declining his invitation? It’s a luxury vacation, sure…but it’s also a summons to perform a jester’s dance before King Miles, who can easily destroy them if they fail to show their gratitude/fealty.

Miles’s response to the game ending early is to ask, horrified, “What am I supposed to do now? Play Yahtzee all weekend?” Heaven forbid he enjoy spending unstructured time with his closest friends in the lap of luxury! But to a narcissist like Miles Bron, any moment when the attention isn’t on him must be Hell. And that’s why his murder mystery game was the perfect plan to make his friends compete for his approval, while he sat back and enjoyed the show.

i think that’s its very on brand of tumblr to first not only scream over benoit blanc, a funky lil gay detective man with a southern accent but also thirst over a wolf that is the personification if death but ALSO hold the beautiful writing of a kids movie that happens to include said wolf dear to their heart and have an actual little meow meow

so glass onion was wow...a ride. i loved it!! honestly when ? was shot i thought this was becoming "and then there were none."

but then whoo.

also birdie's mask is 😭

you know how it is

I'm hyped for Wake up, Dead man, I haven't seen the first knives out film but by instantly fell in love with Glass Onion.

Daniel Craig was great as James Bond but you can definitely tell that he had fun playing Benoit Blanc, so here's an appreciation post about one of cinema's greatest detective and member of my favorite comfort characters!

Are you implyin to me that a shramp managed to frah this rice? It's preposterous! But it intrigues meh so.

so knives out was autumn, glass onion was technically spring but with strong summer vibes. we can all agree the third benoit blanc movie should be winter so we can see him in silly little ski goggles and puffy coats right?

How am I supposed to enjoy the Dungeons & Dragons movie when all I'm going to be thinking when I see Hugh Grant on screen being the bad guy (?) is, "Oh dip, Benoit Blanc's husband is in this."

Blanc: That's one of my biggest fears. Like, if I ever woke up as a donut ....

Marta: You would eat yourself?

Blanc: I wouldn't even question it.

If this happens, one of you is going to have to call an ambulance because I will forget how to breathe, my heart will be beating so fast, it'll be like I just drank an energy drink and I'll be bursting into flames! (I'm joking, I'll be fine....maybe.)

Or, I will cry.

So, Benoit Blanc is confirmed queer in Glass Onion. There's a scene where you see him living with a man. And Johnson and Daniel Craig have both said "It's the perfect person to play Daniel's partner."

And, no one is saying who it is. But if Ben Whishaw shows up in that scene, I'm gonna scream.