Aro Stuff - Tumblr Posts

So...aromatic people are called ‘aros’ sometimes.

Unless I’ve been pronouncing it wrong, it’s sounds like ‘Eros’...

Like- the God of Love Eros.

being aromantic and a cuddly, emotionally and physically "intimate" person are inherently incompatible in a amatonormative world and thats what makes being aro so lonely for a lot of us. we're not allowed to be "too close" to our friends - especially after they have partners, because then we're committing or encouraging adultery. we can't live with a friend who has a partner, because then who knows what we get up to in there? we can't tell our friends we love them too much, because then the word "love" loses its meaning. we can't cuddle anyone, especially people of the other binary gender, because then we're dating. we certainly can't kiss someone, because then we're faking being aro. we can't go out with one person to too fancy of a dinner, cause then it's a date.

aromantics aren't allowed to express certain kinds of affection that we might genuinely need to be able to express, because then we're seen as threats to "real" relationships. and alloromantics will never really understand that, no matter how much lip service they pay to the idea that friends can and should be just as important as romantic connections. they will always find their exception, and that sucks.

Making this cause I have an idea... if I were to make a sideblog specifically for aro and ace fandom stuff (books, shows, podcasts, etc with ace and aro characters, or sharing posts about characters that are canonically and headcanoned as aro and ace) would people follow it? Hoping to create a space where aros/aces/aroaces can connect but like using a fandom space as a jumping off point

Say 'woot woot' in the tags if you're interested. Or just help me signal boost?

Queerplatonic Relationships: An Introduction

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As an aro ace person I would like to apologize to all allo aros and they way they have been treated, like you said you're not gross for feeling sexual attraction. You're a not a bad person for being allo aro. You're all valid as f*ck and deserve to be treated better and to be respected! I wish you all a good evening want you to know that you're appreciated and loved <3

Having said that I would also like to adress my fellow aces.

So some of y'all have been acting like real @ssholes and decided to treat allo aros like sh*t.

This needs to stop.

Slutshaming is never okay. Someone else's sexlife is none of your bussiness so stay out of it.

Having sexual attraction is not gross and doesn't make you a bad person. Some of our fellow aces also feel sexual attraction. Just because it's not your thing doesn't mean you get to shame other people for it.

We're all aspec people, we're all living in a heteronormative society which can make things rather hard, we're all already treated like sh*t by most straight ppl and even a lot of queer people, together with agendered people we are the A in the queer community. So why can't we just stick together and stand up for each other? We might not be exactly alike but we still have a lot in common so don't go and be an @sshole just because you're insecure :)

They shouldn't have to even ask to be respected, they should just be respected! Honestly y'all be better than this.

I love aces to death but some (emphasis on some) have a habit of treating allo aros like crap because of our sexual attraction. We aren’t gross or dirty for liking people sexually and we’re certainly not whores or hoes (yes I’ve had an ace person call me those things in the past). I’m not blaming the entire ace community for this because I realize it’s not all of your faults but a lot of you guys just stand by in these instances. Please treat us (allo aros) better.

Do you have any tips on how to be more supportive/inclusive of loveless aros?

Drop completely the concept that love is something that makes us human, that it’s something we need, that it’s something everyone wants.

Be very careful of thinking aros need to be more loving or love their friends more or anything like that to “make up for their aro-ness”. A. there’s nothing to make up for because aros aren’t lacking in anything, but also B. that just isn’t every aro person’s experience. Some aros do invest a lot in their friends, but not all. And they don’t have to. Not all aros are close to other people. These aros need to be remembered too.

Be aware that aro or not, some people have a hard time connecting to other people or even feeling love at all. And there’s nothing wrong with that. It’s especially common for neurodivergent people to sometimes have trouble connecting to other people or feeling emotions the way neurotypical people do. Sometimes people who are dealing with trauma also have trouble connecting with, or don’t feel like they love, other people.

On that note, be wary of the concept that there’s any kind of morality to how someone feels love. Morality comes from how we treat people and how we act, internal feelings we have no control over isn’t someone’s morality.

I haven’t seen this in a long time but it used to be common for ace stuff, especially outreach stuff to say ‘but we can still love’ to appeal to heteronormative sensibilities. This hurt all aros, but especially loveless aros. Definitely do not do that and push back against it when you see it.

So I’m not a loveless aro myself, and it’s possible there are more things that could be done to be inclusive that I either haven’t thought of or am not doing. I definitely encourage you to look up what loveless aros say on the subject as well and see if there’s other things you can adopt.

And just a note if anyone wants to know what loveless aro means, the lgbta wiki has an entry on it.

All the best, Anon!