I Have A Problem.
I have a problem.
My Inbox keeps telling me that I've got shit in there. But when I open it, it says there's no messages!
Idk which part is lying. The messages or no messages. Until I get it figured out, I apologize for anything anyone has sent me that has not been seen. It isn't for lack of want, but for lack of ability.
Am I going to use this as an opportunity? Yes.
My discord server will probably be the best place to contact me with requests or questions.
It's called The Tolls Bridge (it's a lie. you don't need to pay to join)
Shameless promotion done. Apologies are never quite done, but I'll call it for now. I'll try and get the inbox figured out asap
More Posts from Thevoidstaredback
The only posts you guys actually like are my writing posts
I see how it is
Using me for your own entertainment
We're watching The Wolverine now.
I'll add thoughts later. (Maybe)
I like Logan too much to be distracted
Course, I like all the movies I watch, but The Wolverine (and the X-Men by extension) is the first anti hero hero I remember watching
I can faux purr
I can sound like several different animals
I can squeak
What's next?
I can imitate accents and voices
I can become different people
I can manipulate people and situations
What power will be added to my arsenal next?
Things I think about on the [near] daily
Person (P) 1: You're late.
Person (P) 2: [ruffled, fixing their hair] Sorry, I was...doing things
*stomping getting closer* *door is thrown open*
Person (P) 3: [huffing] He pushed me down the fucking stairs!
P 2: Push is such a strong word. I prefer to say, "giving you a little nudge".
P 3: I'll give you a little nudge when I shove my foot up your ass!
P 2: Hey! Watch your fucking language in front of the president.
-----
*elevator doors close*
Iain: Where's the buttons?
Rob: Oh, no. They've installed voice-recognition technology in this lift. They have no buttons.
Iain: Voice-recognition technology? In a lift? In Scotland? You ever tried voice-recognition technology?
Rob: No
Iain: They don't do Scottish accents.
Rob: Eleven.
Voice: Could you please repeat that?
Iain: Eleven.
Rob: Eleven. Eleven.
Iain: Eleven.
Voice: Could you please repeat that?
Rob: EL-EV-EN
Iain: Who's idea was this? You need to try an American accent. E-leven. E-leven.
Rob: That sounds Irish, not American.
Iain: No it doesn't! ELEVEN.
Rob: Where in America is that - Dublin?
Voice: I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?
Rob: Try an English accent. Elevin! Elevin!
Iain: You from the same part of England as Dick van Dyke?
Rob: Let's hear yours then, smartass.
Voice: Please speak slowly and clearly.
Rob: SMARTASS
Iain: E-lev-en.
Voice: I'm sorry. Could you please repeat that?
Iain: ELEVEN! If ya don't understand a lingo, away back to your own country!
Rob: Ooo, it's that talk now is it, away back to your own country?
Iain: Oh, don't start, Mr. Bleeding Heart. How can you be racist to a lift?
Voice: Please speak slowly and clearly.
Rob: Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.
Iain: You're just saying it the same way!
Rob: And I'm going to keep saying it until it understands Scottish, alright?
Rob: Eleven. Eleven. Eleven. Eleven.
Iain: Oh, just take us anywhere, ya cow! Just open the doors!
Voice: This is a voice activated elevator. Please state which floor you would like to go to in a clear and calm manner.
Iain: Calm? Calm? Where's that coming from? Why's it telling people to be calm?
Rob: Because they knew they'd be selling this to Scottish people who'd be going off their nuts at it!
Voice: You have not selected a floor.
Rob: Aye, we have! Eleven!
Voice: If you would like to get out of the elevator without selecting a floor, simply say "Open the doors, please".
Iain: Please? Please? Suck my wully.
Rob: Maybe we should just say "please".
Iain: I'm not begging that for nothing.
Rob: Open the doors, please.
Iain: 'Please'! Pathetic.
Voice: Please remain calm.
Rob: Oh! My! God! You want until I get up there...just wait for it to speak...
Voice: You have not selected a floor.
Rob: Up yours, ya cow! If you don't let us through those doors, I'm gonna come to America, I'm gonna find whatever desperate actress gave you a voice, and it'll be the electric chair for ye!
Iain: Scotland, ya bastard!
Rob: Scotland!
Iain: SCOTLAND!
Rob: SCOOOOOTLAND!!
Iain: FREEDOM!!
Rob: FREEDOM!!
*elevator doors open with a ding*
Iain: ...Going up?
