COWBOY CARTER : @immobiliter ( Misty ) For Shauna I'm Warning You, Don't Come For My Man.

🪐 — COWBOY CARTER : @immobiliter ( misty ) for shauna ▶ ❝ i'm warning you, don't come for my man. ❞

SHE CAN ADMIT that they're all going a little crazy at this point, but misty is also definitely the craziest one of all of them. & right now, shauna is all hormonal & bloated & pissed off & just so not in the mood to deal with with the other girls' weird obsessive crush on coach ben.

❝ misty, gross, ❞ she says, pulling her face into a scowl. ❝ first of all, it's not coach's baby. & second of all, i'm not interested in him, ok ? you can have him, i don't care. ❞ & she almost says that coach definitely isn't interested in misty either, for the record, but she bites down on her lip before the words can come out. sending the other girl into an emotional tailspin won't help anything — it'll just make her freak out more. & shauna is busy with her own freak out at the moment ; she just has the good manners to keep it to herself.

"I own the night" - Jacob Anderson as Louis de Pointe du Lac

Interview With The Vampire (2022-) 2.08: And that's the end of it. There's nothing else.

so anyway i'm thinking about this interview where jacob says of louis dpdl :

"My feeling about Louis is that he is the most vampire of all of them. He has the highest drive and jonesing for blood, I think he really wants blood, I think he hates human beings. I think everything he says he is, I think he is the opposite. […] I think that's he feels the need to overcompensate for a really deep blood lust, like he really wants to be a vampire. […] He's the reticent vampire because he is reticent to embrace what he is."

& i think that this is really on base, & says a lot about... well, everything tbh. louis tries so hard to be empathetic because he is afraid that he's actually not. &... he's not. this could be a whole other post, but he pretty much never actually acts to help other people. even the act of saving claudia was admittedly more about his own sense of redemption than helping her. & he is a vampire, he does kill. & sometimes he does kill violently, 'theatrically.' & sometimes often, he does enjoy it. he represses those instincts because they are so strong, & because he fears that he cannot separate himself from them any more, & because he has come to believe that they are bad & inherently wrong.

& i'm thinking about how louis, a Black queer creole man living in pre-civil-rights-act era louisiana, was well practiced at suppressing his rage & hatred for other humans, even when he was human. & i think that because he spent his human life trying to advance in his unjust society, & he tried so hard to be "one of the good ones" ( thinking here about his 'exceptional negro' speech in 1.02 ) who would be allowed to live in their world only if he suppressed his true feelings ( his "true nature" if you will ) hard enough. & how this narrative also ties to & compounds with his queerness, & his shame over & suppression of his desires for other men.

& of course, vampirism can be seen as a direct continuation of these themes, & we can see louis modeling the exact same behaviors of repression & self-loathing as it relates to his vampiric nature. he has convinced himself that what he is is inherently wrong & shameful. & i genuinely believe that the only way forward for louis is complete & total acceptance of himself. he is a queer man. he is a Black man — yes, even one who is often ( rightly! ) angry. & he is a vampire who needs to ( & likes to ) feed on humans. these things are all inherent to what & who he is, core elements of his identity that shape how he moves through this world. & he has to learn to be ok with those things... or he will ( continue to ) go insane.

🪐 — COWBOY CARTER : @immobiliter ( daniel ) for louis ▶ ❝ let me make myself clear. ❞

THIS WASN'T HOW the interview was supposed to go. there had been a plan in place — call the boy ( who was no longer a boy ) out to dubai for a second attempt, & do it right this time. make sure that he told only the story that louis wanted told. that was what he & armand had discussed ; it was why they had together carefully curated which materials daniel would have access to & which he wouldn't. it was one of the conditions of louis doing this at all. but now daniel wasn't following the script, & the timeline had begun to splinter & break wherever he touched it.

❝ you don't make things clear. you never make things clear. in fact, you seem to revel in doing the exact opposite. ❞ his voice was harsh, & even he could hear how petulant it sounded, like a child caught in a lie. but wasn't this what louis had wanted : to remember ? wasn't this why he had needed daniel instead of someone younger, someone new, to write his story ? ❝ i don't know, ok ? so stop asking. why does it matter if it was raining or not ? ❞

🪐 — LOST MEME : @shadowcovcn ( lestat ) for louis ▶ ❝ stay with me a while, will you? it's not safe outside in the storm. ❞

THE IDEA THAT LOUIS WOULD come all this way, cross an ocean to return to the city of his birth ( nearly 100 years after he'd left it ) to track down his maker, & finally finally find the courage to say all the things he should have told him a century ago, only to leave the moment after he'd said it — in the midst of a roaring hurricane no less — it's simply so ridiculous that he can't stop himself from laughing.

but lestat isn't laughing with him. in fact, the look on his face is almost childlike in its hopefulness, his round blue eyes still rimmed in bloody tears. louis has never seen him like this before. he goes quiet, & it strikes him suddenly that maybe he doesn't truly know his maker after all. ❝ yeah, of course. i'm not going anywhere. not today. ❞ human ears might be at risk of losing his voice to the howling wind, but knows lestat can hear him. & even though the sky is still darkened with clouds, the pitch black night is giving way to a stormy grey dawn. ❝ is there room in your coffin for me ? ❞