COWBOY CARTER : @immobiliter ( Daniel ) For Louis Let Me Make Myself Clear.

🪐 — COWBOY CARTER : @immobiliter ( daniel ) for louis ▶ ❝ let me make myself clear. ❞

THIS WASN'T HOW the interview was supposed to go. there had been a plan in place — call the boy ( who was no longer a boy ) out to dubai for a second attempt, & do it right this time. make sure that he told only the story that louis wanted told. that was what he & armand had discussed ; it was why they had together carefully curated which materials daniel would have access to & which he wouldn't. it was one of the conditions of louis doing this at all. but now daniel wasn't following the script, & the timeline had begun to splinter & break wherever he touched it.

❝ you don't make things clear. you never make things clear. in fact, you seem to revel in doing the exact opposite. ❞ his voice was harsh, & even he could hear how petulant it sounded, like a child caught in a lie. but wasn't this what louis had wanted : to remember ? wasn't this why he had needed daniel instead of someone younger, someone new, to write his story ? ❝ i don't know, ok ? so stop asking. why does it matter if it was raining or not ? ❞

🪐 — BLACK SAILS : @azmenka for asha ▶ ❝ The thought of losing you… ❞

❝ DON'T. ❞ she cuts maron off before he can complete the thought, giving a sharp shake of her head. ❝ don't even think of it. i'm fine. i told you, it's barely a scratch. ❞ but the dark splotch on her tunic undercuts her reassurances, a hand-sized patch of drying blood betraying the wound beneath. still, asha knows without looking that it's nothing she can't heal from. she can still breathe in, stand, bend, & turn, all without agony, so she's confident that nothing critical was pierced by the lucky greenlander's spear — it's likely more of a scrape than anything.

maron still looks worried, his face white as he reaches for her as if to check for himself. but asha swats his hand away. his concern is touching, but unwarranted. & besides, their men are still watching — any sign of weakness must be saved for later, when they are alone. ❝ do you remember the time back when we were children doing the finger dance & you nearly took my head off ? ❞ & she smirks, tossing her loose hair back so that he can see the scar on the side of her throat before nudging him affectionately with her elbow. ❝ you came closer to killing me than any greenlander ever has. ❞

YELLOWJACKETS 1.09 | "Doomcoming" 2.02 | "Edible Complex"

PROMPTS FROM BEYONCÉ'S COWBOY CARTER *  assorted lines from the album, some slightly adapted, adjust as necessary

nothing really ends.

for things to stay the same, they have to change again.

hello, my old friend.

you changed your name, but not the ways you play pretend.

do you hear me?

let me make myself clear.

can you hear me, or do you fear me?

can we stand for something?

now is the time to face the wind.

can you stand me?

this isn't the time to pretend.

they used to say i spoke "too country."

they don't know how hard i had to fight for this.

goodbye to what has been.

you were only waiting for this moment to arise.

i had to leave my home at an early age.

i'm not in my bed.

i gotta choose myself.

i might cook, clean, but still won't fold.

i'm still working on my life, you know.

only god knows.

i got art to make.

i got love to create.

they won't dim my light.

i had to sacrifice and leave my fears behind.

you'll remember me, 'cause we got something to prove.

i will lead you down that road if you lose your way.

i'm born to be a protector.

even though i know someday, you're gonna shine on your own.

i gave water to the soil, and now it feeds me.

there you are, shaded underneath it all.

i feel proud of who i am.

i first saw your face in your father's gaze.

how many times have you let yourself get down?

be fond of your flaws.

i just hope you love yourself like that.

i really hope the best for you.

you're my love, my sweetie pie.

don't let go.

lay your cards down.

i'll be damned if i can't slow dance with you.

don't be a bitch.

there's a heatwave coming at us.

i give you kisses in the backseat.

you make me cry, you make me happy.

just toss it.

they couldn't have me and they never will.

sometimes i hold you closer just to know you're real.

sometimes i take a day off just to turn you on.

i could be your bodyguard.

you should let me ride shotgun.

you know how people like to start shit.

someone better hold me back.

i'm warning you, don't come for my man.

don't take the chance just because you think you can.

the games you play are nothing new.

you don't want no heat with me.

i know my man better than he knows himself.

shoot your shot with someone else.

i'm warning you, woman, find your own man.

i have to have this talk with you.

i really tried to stay cool, but your arrogance disturbed my solitude.

look what you made me do.

if you cross me, i'm just like my father.

you say move a mountain and i'll throw on my boots.

how does it feel to be adored?

think about leaving? hell no.

time moves quickly, and so do i.

i don't need anything.

here's to hoping i'll fall fast asleep tonight.

i need to get through this.

i came here for a reason, but i don't know the purpose.

time heals everything.

i'll be your backseat baby.

been a while since i haven't tried to pull away.

come here, you sexy little thing.

baby, you play too much.

i'm looking super hot.

i'm a fucking animal.

every time you know just what to do.

no one ever got me going quite like you.

girl, i wanna take you home.

they won't be around.

i hope that you know that once i loved you.

history can't be erased.

got you up all night and now you don't wanna leave.

how can a true love go so wrong?

put on a show and make it nasty.

let me sink into your arms.

i died and someone brought me back to life.

i plan to steal your heart again.

who am i to judge?

i will carry on.

baby, i've been waiting my whole life for you.

wherever you wanna go, that's fine with me.

all i see is the best of you.

i'm gonna give you the best years of your life.

you owe me a debt.

i hated you once.

tap me on the shoulder when you reload the gun.

i know they're looking for me.

i fall to pieces each time i see you there.

it don't matter what nobody says.

we can take back roads.

just say what you need from the store.

i'm coming home.

take that shit on the chin.

have mercy on me.

this house was built with blood and bones.

i need to make you proud.

so anyway i'm thinking about this interview where jacob says of louis dpdl :

"My feeling about Louis is that he is the most vampire of all of them. He has the highest drive and jonesing for blood, I think he really wants blood, I think he hates human beings. I think everything he says he is, I think he is the opposite. […] I think that's he feels the need to overcompensate for a really deep blood lust, like he really wants to be a vampire. […] He's the reticent vampire because he is reticent to embrace what he is."

& i think that this is really on base, & says a lot about... well, everything tbh. louis tries so hard to be empathetic because he is afraid that he's actually not. &... he's not. this could be a whole other post, but he pretty much never actually acts to help other people. even the act of saving claudia was admittedly more about his own sense of redemption than helping her. & he is a vampire, he does kill. & sometimes he does kill violently, 'theatrically.' & sometimes often, he does enjoy it. he represses those instincts because they are so strong, & because he fears that he cannot separate himself from them any more, & because he has come to believe that they are bad & inherently wrong.

& i'm thinking about how louis, a Black queer creole man living in pre-civil-rights-act era louisiana, was well practiced at suppressing his rage & hatred for other humans, even when he was human. & i think that because he spent his human life trying to advance in his unjust society, & he tried so hard to be "one of the good ones" ( thinking here about his 'exceptional negro' speech in 1.02 ) who would be allowed to live in their world only if he suppressed his true feelings ( his "true nature" if you will ) hard enough. & how this narrative also ties to & compounds with his queerness, & his shame over & suppression of his desires for other men.

& of course, vampirism can be seen as a direct continuation of these themes, & we can see louis modeling the exact same behaviors of repression & self-loathing as it relates to his vampiric nature. he has convinced himself that what he is is inherently wrong & shameful. & i genuinely believe that the only way forward for louis is complete & total acceptance of himself. he is a queer man. he is a Black man — yes, even one who is often ( rightly! ) angry. & he is a vampire who needs to ( & likes to ) feed on humans. these things are all inherent to what & who he is, core elements of his identity that shape how he moves through this world. & he has to learn to be ok with those things... or he will ( continue to ) go insane.

You overpaid, with crumpled bills and some earrings with blood on them, like they were ripped from the lobes. You had a body about to bloom and the mind of a sophisticate. You didn't smile.