Sweet Nothing (jj Maybank)

sweet nothing (jj maybank)

pairing: jj maybank x afab!routledge!reader

word count: ~0.6k

warnings: reader is going through a tough time, allusions to ptsd

a/n: slightly inspired by sweet nothing by taylor swift but mostly a self-indulgent piece bc i've been going through it lately and i just want someone to hold me. this hasn't been proofread so my apologies in advance

-

She's been in bed all day, dude

The text from his best friend made JJ's heart ache. You had been different ever since returning from South America.

True, the Pogues had all changed quite a lot since their regular summers of surfing and cheap booze were usurped by treasure hunting. And true, you had just found and lost your illusive father in the span of a week. But where the other Pogues had planted both feet in the future, you were stuck somewhere else. Where, exactly, no one knew.

And now, here JJ stood outside your door, intending to find out. He lifted a hand to knock softly. "(Y/N/N)? Sweets, you in there?" There was no answer.

You were laid in your new bed, the bedding too soft and the mattress too firm. The wall opposite the door had become your sole focal point for the past hour. Either you were deeply studying the pale shade of paint, or trying to look past it to find some latent desire.

It wasn't until you felt a hand on your shoulder that you budged from your staring contest. You turned your head to find your boyfriend now sitting behind you. He gave you a soft smile, looking almost puppy-like in his pursuits. The smile couldn't be returned.

"What are you doing here?" you asked. JJ sighed in response. He kept his hand against your shoulder, rubbing the skin there in delicate patterns.

"John B said you haven't shown any signs of life today. Didn't wanna bother Shoupe for a call, so he sent me in to investigate." His attempt at a joke almost had you crack. Almost. But the fortress in your mind held strong.

You didn't want to be passive to him. JJ was your partner in crime, figurative as much as it had been made literal. He was the boy who protected you alongside your big brother your whole life. He held your heart, as you held his.

Life had sucked you in and spat you out in so many different directions, all before you knew how to make sense of any of it. And now.. you didn't know what to feel. You didn't know what to do.

"Talk to me," JJ cooed as he saw your eyes start to water. His hand was warm against your cheek, his thumb stretching to catch the first fallen tear and the ones that followed soon after. Big blue eyes scanned yours desperately for answers that you didn't have.

And so you told him, "I don't know." JJ blinked as he tried to make sense of just three words. But he didn't give an answer; he knew that wasn't what you were looking for.

Instead, JJ gathered you up in his arms, pulling you both beneath the too-soft comforter atop the too-firm mattress. He nuzzled his face against your neck, pressing gentle kisses there.

"It's okay," JJ hummed beside your ear. "Whatever it is, it's gonna work itself out. And I'm gonna be right by your side like I always have, okay? You and me through it all, sweet girl."

More tears fell at his sweet nothings-

No, you hated that they were called that.

His words were anything but nothing to you. Though you felt lost in a world so shaken from what it once was, though you felt too weak to face any of the harsh realities you had endured, you wanted nothing more than to run to the sweet words of your love for solace.

And JJ knew that.

I’m actually really insecure. I feel like I’m always gonna fuck things up or people will lose interest in me cause I’m too clingy or too passionate or too much of some other trait that bothers them

MISSION: Be Normal About That Thing

STATUS: [FAILED]

i need someone to tell me to "c'mere" and pull me into their lap

lazy summer mornings with jj maybank where he sneaks back after going for a morning surf, water droplets falling from his hair onto the pillow as he leans down to give you a sweet kiss and a smile, tasting the sea salt on his lips as your sleep filled eyelids gently flutter open…and the sunshine followed by the sound of the waves drifts in through the open windows. <3