Arcfall Shitpost: #1

Arcfall shitpost: #1

(apologies this probably ain't funny at the start.)

Cinder: I fuckin hate you, you understand.

Jaune: surrre.

Cinder: I despise you! Throughout all of my schemes you were there to stop them! I despise you for that.

Jaune: whatever you say cinder.

Cinder: your a failure to your family and.... And I'm glad I stopped being a arrogant bitch.

Jaune: I know honey.

Jaune smiled at her as he brought her close and kissed her on her cheek.

Cinder:... You know I still think you killing me would've left you off 100 times better.

Jaune:.. I know you think that, part of me does too.. but that's the old side of me, the side of me driven by rage. But hey you managed to get rehabbed and you came out better than before.

Cinder: true... But look at us... A ex-criminal and her boyfriend, said ex-criminal murdering her boyfriends loved ones and people he held dear.

Jaune: said boyfriend, faking his beacon transcripts, harassing a fellow student even if unintentional, stealing a atlas airship, working with criminals that only made the countries leader spiral farther down when he clearly needed assistance... Murdering.

The two sat in silence before jaune held cinder closer.

Cinder: i guess we're both criminals.. though my crimes are worse... Gods I still don't understand how i avoided death row!

Jaune: turns out the law is cheap when dealing with the supernatural... And a few... Million lien... Dear Oum I still owe Weiss big time for allowing me to bail you out.

Cinder: speaking of the Schnee girl.. and also your friends do they-

Jaune: still want to see your head on the chopping block? Yeah.. ofcourse they still chat with me but uh.. yeah.

Cinder: I.. I really did fuck up every aspect of my life huh?

The two just sat there before jaune softly kissed her.

Jaune: I'll love you regardless.

Deaths dogs.. and their master.

Skoll

Hati

Fenrir

And Lance

Lance just has a way with dogs.

RISE.

Such a simple command

Just a little faster

Jaune is a WHORE! PT. 5

Jaune at this point was used to being in uncomfortable positions and this one was no different as now he sat infront of Sun. The monkey faunus just sitting there seemingly calm as his blue haired friend paced back and forth foaming at the mouth.

Jaune: um if I may ask. Why am I here-

Sun: because Neptune is feeling salty

Jaune:..why?

Neptune: because you fucked Weiss, her hot sister, even her MOM! And now I find out you managed to bone MY MOTHER! Jaune I know we barely know each other but-

Jaune: I'm a whore.. I know. I've been told that many.

Neptune: AND THAT'S A DAMN PROBLEM! YOUR STEALING ALL THE HOT BABES!

Sun: nep. No offense man but I can't really blame the guy.

Neptune:.. sun I'm begging you not to finish the sentence.

Sun: your mom's hot dude. Id do her too if we weren't friends.

Neptune just looked at him before raising a fist as sun just rolled his eyes as jaune looked at the monkey faunus.

Jaune: your supprisingly chill... Especially considering the fact I slept with Blake too.

Sun: don't get me wrong I was mad at first but I know Blake is smart enough to make a good choices. Plus it's not like I was gonna score her anyway.

Jaune: so... You knew about her and yang?

Sun sighed softly as his tail swished back and forth.

Sun: more of just a hunch. Those two were chained at the hip, sometimes you just can't beat a bond formed early.

Neptune: back to the problem at hand. jaune, you being a whore is causing a major issue. I need to ask you to please, stop

Jaune just chuckled softly before standing up as he winced and grabbed his hips.

Jaune: Neptune. We both know that's never gonna happen.. I can't stop them.

Neptune: what do you mean you can't stop them? And who's "them"?!

Jaune got close as he put a hand on Neptunes shoulder and looked at him in the eyes.

Jaune: the women... They hunt people like me... They hunt dorks

Neptune: dear oum...

Jaune: i can't feel my pelvis Neptune... But they'll keep coming. I can't stop them.

Sun: ah so that's why ilia was looking at me funny.

Suddenly a frantic knock at the door was heard.

Nora: fearless leader! Let me in! I think something's going on with Ren.

To be continued...

Frost doesn't really tell Andrew about his father...

She wants to one day. But she just needs to decide what to tell him first.