She Says That I'm Lucky I'm Strong And Don't Give A Shit. She Doesn't Understand That It Has Happened

She says that I'm lucky I'm strong and don't give a shit. She doesn't understand that it has happened to me so many times that I stopped feeling anything towards situations like that. I've become completely numb, not strong. Instead of feeling sad, I'd feel empty and hollow.

Me too...

Im tired. Im tired all the goddamn time. All i do is work and sleep. Im tired of thinking all the time. My anxiety is killing me. Im tired of being lonely. Im tired of sitting at home on my days off and wishing i had someone to hang out with. Im tired of going to the movies by myself and going to lunch by myself and going shopping by myself. Im tired of not having friends. Im tired of not being able to connect with people. Of not being able to socially interact with people. Im tired of being awkward and weird. Im tired of asking people to hangout and getting rejected. Im tired of being rejected. Im tired of being made to feel worthless. Like my time isn’t valuable. Im tired of making time for people who dont make time for me. Im tired of me. Not skinny enough not pretty enough not funny enough not outgoing enough not unique enough not smart enough not creative enough not bold enough not kind enough not enough. Im tired of putting pressure on myself to lose my virginity. Im tired of other people putting pressure on me to do it. Im tired of being afraid to be intimate. Im tired of thinking that i have to perform to keep someone around. Im tired of feeling like shit because of that. Im just……… so tired.