This Account Is A Mr. Perry Hate Account

this account is a Mr. Perry hate account

neil deserves the whole world, let's kill his dad

☆ THE POETS AT THE AIRPORT ☆

CHARLIE: trying WAY too hard to be everyone's airport crush. has to be dragged out of the liquor section of the duty free shop ("but the vodka is so CHEAP"). plays a game of "trying to sneak as many metal objects past the security check as possible". when he gets a pat down he keeps wiggling his eyebrows and saying some variant of "wow no you're wayy too old for me" to the security guy (who's probably considering quitting his job). is secretly terrified of flying but tries not to let it show (grips neil's hand so hard it hurts when they take off)

TODD: literally a ball of pure anxiety in the beginning of it. SO scared he overpacked, he's constantly talking about what if his suitcase is too heavy and he has to empty it out and everyone in the queue will be watching him and GOD HE HATES AIRPORTS. calms down a bit after the security check (totally panics about what if he accidentally put a gun down his pants or something and doesn't remember), and then just chills in the perfume area of the duty free shop, trying all the scents. buys loads of snacks because you never know if the place you're going to has the good ones. tries not to think about the possibility of the plane crashing. likes watching the clouds.

NEIL: A literal kid. Is the one who ACTUALLY overpacked, and runs around with his suitcase (he'd totally sit down on it and ride it around if that was socially acceptable). spends like an hour in the shops and is suddenly convinced he needs to buy a lot of unnecessary stuff. BUT goes into airport dad mode as soon as he needs to, he has all the tickets and keeps reminding everyone of having their passports ready, he knows the gate number etc. takes the lead and gets them to the plane safely.

KNOX: has like an hour long "in case i die on the plane" video ready for chris, and they have a long phone call to say good bye (interrupted when charlie gets into a fight with a security guard - "c'mon dude, who's side are you on, the government?? like being a small little guy in power??" "Sir I'm going to repeat it one more time, I need you to take off that belt please."). if knox wasn't dating chris, he'd totally be looking at all the cute girls at the airport for like two seconds and trying to telepathically tell them they're cute (relatable, not gonna lie). Is so polite and charming to all the staff that it's on the verge of being funny, Pittsie teasing him about really being the perfect son in law. Honestly just a very chilled flyer, he has fun.

PITTS: has even more fun. has like an extra bag full of snacks that everyone makes fun of and then obviously wants some of later (pittsie gives them some because he's a bro, but they have to swear that he's the best and will get the front seat of every car they'll ride). TOTALLY has one of those inflatable neck cushions. the security guy comments on how tall he is mainly to make conversation, but pittsie is still proud of it (i think i mentioned my headcanons about pitts' relationships with his height? or did i never publish them?) and smiles for the next minute. reads the on-flight magazine. super excited at take off, he's like LET'S GOOOO while todd and charlie are on the verge of crying. freaks out about omg I forgot my passport (neil took it from him one second ago). fun facts about planes!!

MEEKS: the chillest. tries to calm todd down by telling him statistics and all that about the narrow chances of dying on a plane until charlie snaps and is like SHUT UP OH MY GOD ("'kay sir" 🫡😳). nerds out about planes with pittsie! has WAY too many tags on his bags in case they get lost. tells really bad airport puns that pittsie thinks are HILARIOUS. spends the wait by just sitting in a café and drinking way too much coffee. ONLY buys one teeny tiny little bag of m&ms and then eats like half of pittsies snacks. sits more comfortably than pitts because his legs are shorter and don't get cramped and DEFINITELY teases him about it like 'hmm i don't know what you mean, there's plenty of leg room!"

CAMERON: really excited for the flight, loves the whole experience. printed out everything twice just in case!! all his liquid items are in these little plastic bags that no one ever uses (or maybe y'all are just better than me). eats SO much beforehand to save money because the airport prices are ridiculous. runs to the gate like three times to check it hasn't been changed. has the craziest methods to keep his ears from popping.

Happy pride to whatever the hell these two got going on.

DPS BOYS CELEBRATING YOUR BIRTHDAY

(today is my birthday, so birthday related hyperfixation post, I couldn’t help it)

Neil: My man Neil gets you a birthday card and forces everybody in existence to sign it.

“Who the hell is Greg?”

“Some guy I passed on the street this morning.” :D

He also gets you a paper crown and urges you to wear it the entire day. (social anxiety fears this man). If anyone makes fun of you they will get cussed out by Charlie. Neil buys an extra present, because he already knows that Charlie will be too busy (it happens every time).

Charlie: Charlie goes all out and starts planning a party a month in advance. This man loves to party and will look for any excuse to do so. It is held in the cave and it is the best party you will ever have. As for the present, he’s too busy planning the party so the present that Neil buys you is from the both of them.

Todd: When he first sees you he wishes you the shyest ‘happy birthday’ you’ve ever heard, honestly it’s adorable. He just enjoys the day because he likes seeing you happy. At the party he gives you your gift: a poem he wrote and a bunch of cool little trinkets he bought. Todd is very nervous that you don’t like it (you love it, this man is a master at picking gifts) and he will die if you read the poem out loud in front of the others.

Knox: Kinda guy to text you as soon as midnight hits, then be super proud of himself because he was the first one to wish you happy birthday. Him and Todd go shopping a week beforehand. Then at the party he gives you the present (it’s either one of those cursed thrift shop T-shirts or a book that Todd helped pick him out).

Pitts: Definitely in charge of the music at the party, I headcanon that Pittsie has the best music taste known to man. As a present he gives you a mixtape with songs that you like, songs that remind him of you and just general vibey songs.

Meeks & Cameron: They team for a birthday vlog (like dead poets in nyc) with Meeks as the narrator and Cameron as the cameraman. They also film the preparations for the party and the shopping with Todd and Knox. They ‘interview’ Mr. Keating who gives a heartfelt birthday speech. Also they are definitely next to your bedside to wake you up and sing the worst rendition of happy birthday you’ve ever heard. Queue Knox who comes in to tell them he was first.

just started watching the perks of being a wallflower for the first time, and I’m sure you’ve all heard of the Todd - Mr. Anderson theory

but this man just said that people used to refer to him as Spaz SPAZ!!!

how have I never heard this theory before, and why does he kind of look like him

(I was gonna put a picture here for reference but I can’t find any, but he’s the kid with glasses, braces and inhaler)

'you never read anymore, you used to love reading' and i have 200 safari tabs open. it never stopped it just got weird