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I can’t stand people that don’t let me speak hyperbolically. If I can’t respond to a minor inconvenience that someone should get shot in the fucking head for it then what’s the point of it all.

i think we all need to complain about LED headlights more. please can we all complain about them more. night driving is nearly impossible for me to do now without having to white knuckle my way through a thousand evil suns. every time i see those headlights in my mirrors i take 2d6 radiant damage. i want to destroy every single LED headlight under my feet like they’re goombas

being convinced your keys are in your backpack because when you shake it you can hear them but upon closer inspection it's just a really small foley artist imitating your keys with a piece of glass and a crumb

thank you medical technology for giving me a dad that’s still alive and for prolonging his life and for prolonging MY life and for all the times I’ve never caught a disease I’m vaccinated for and all the times doctors had to cut me open to fix my insides and I was able to sleep through it thank you anesthesiologists thank you surgeons thank you physical therapists thank you nurses thank you nurse practitioners thank you surgery technicians thank you neurologists thank you cardiologists thank you gastroenterologists thank you ENT doctors thank you OB/GYNs thank you midwifes thank you scientists who discover and synthesize new medicines thank you engineers designing prosthetics and insulin pumps and metal implants thank you janitors for keeping our hospital rooms and hallways clean and safe thank you phlebotomists thank you laboratory workers thank you pharmacists for filling our meds THANK YOU MODERN MEDICINE FOR MY LIFE AND FOR MY FAMILY AND MY FUTURE

Destroy the myth that libraries are no longer relevant. If you use your library, please reblog.

If life is a never ending loop of dirty dishes and laundry then that means life is a never ending loop of home cooked meals and comfy clean clothes

the ache of nostalgia

happy birthday to all the tbs in the southern hemisphere!

My mom kept everything she’s found in the washing machine the past ten years and made it into an art piece. It’s basically an awesome portrait of what it’s like for two girls growing up in the late 90s/early 2000s.

Mary Oliver, Summer Morning, from Red Bird

Not a big fan of what melatonin has been doing to my dreams lately.

why don’t you shut your fucking mouth and look at the wikipedia page for sucking cock???????????

this is literally the only tweet that ever matters

Gustav Klimt, The Kiss // Robert Winthrop Chanler, Leopard and Deer

Where did the whopping huge meteor come down? I assume if there are core samples, we know where it was, and maybe there are remnants of it?

Chicxulub Puerto, Yucatan, Mexico, fucking exactly

You will get farther in one week paying close, nonjudgmental attention to the unmet needs underlying your "bad" behavior than you will in a year of punishing yourself and demanding you become a different person. I'm right shut up.

In the future, children will think our ways are strange. "Why do old people always grow so much milkweed in their gardens?" they'll say. "Why do old people always write down when the first bees and butterflies show up? Why do old people hate lawn grass so much? Why do old people like to sit outside and watch bees?"

We will try to explain to them that when we were young, most people's yards were almost entirely short grass with barely any flowers at all, and it was so commonplace to spray poisons to kill insects and weeds that it was feared monarch butterflies and American bumblebees would soon go extinct. We will show them pictures of sidewalks, shops, and houses surrounded by empty grass without any flowers or vegetables and they will stare at them like we stared at pictures of grimy children working in coal mines