Vodkisstyles - Nga Yawne Lu Oer - Tumblr Blog

#it's okay pedro i can't say horror either 🥹

PEDRO PASCAL & COLMAN DOMINGO Vanity Fair | The Hollywood Issue

I deserve a gentle love after all the shit I’ve had to put up with

Barry on hot ones was so cute askfdkks, his ADHD was fucking acting up lmao

Lord help me I am deeply unwell, curse you barry you bewitching temptress

what a great day to have eyes

Dunkin’ ‘Voice of Reason’ ft. Ben Affleck and Jack Harlow

Don’t allow the fear of the unknown keep you in a place you’ve outgrown.

Bentleys and babies:

A Father’s Day fic. 😌

“Daddy! Daddy!” Jade crawled into bed, lightly tapping at Jack's face to wake him up.

“Hmmm?” he groaned, rubbing his eyes. “What's wrong Jadey?”

“There’s an emergency! I need you to come to the living room! Quick!” She hopped off the bed and ran out of the room. Jack who was still half asleep, and now fully panicking, quickly put on a pair of new balance slides and stumbled his way into the living room.

“What's wrong?” He tried to adjust his eyes to what he was seeing but he was pretty helpless without his glasses.

You already knew that he would forget to put them on, so you had a pair ready for him to wear. You quickly ran over to him, giving him his glasses and then standing back with the girls.

Jack had been busy doing press for his album, but you made him promise to be settled at home for Father’s Day. While he was away, you and the girls got to work, making him a few homemade gifts.

You and Jade made a giant banner, which the three of you were holding up for him. It was covered in flowers and hearts made out of watercolor paints, and giant bubble lettering that you had to do yourself.

“Happy Father’s Day!” is what the banner read, simple and to the point but the effort was definitely there.

Hazel had made him some cookies, she had gotten better at baking over the years and did it fairly often. He always requested chocolate chip and walnut cookies, they were easy to make so she didn’t complain about it.

“Wait, so there isn’t a fire?” He teased realizing Jade was only being dramatic for the sake of him getting out of bed.

Lucky, ran over to him and pawed at his legs. Jack bent down to pick up the family dog before walking over to you and the girls. “This is for me?” He asked Jade teasingly and she couldn’t help but giggle.

“Well yes? You’re my daddy, duh” she giggled again.

Jack looked over at you, realizing you had dressed up for him. You were wearing a light purple summer dress and he couldn’t stop staring at how it hugged you. You pretended not to notice, subtly smiling to yourself.

Hazel brought Jack over a gift bag and you asked him to sit down to open the gift, his brows furrowed.

“I have to sit for this?”

“You might want to” you played coy, shrugging as you took Lucky from him and placed him safely back on the floor.

Jack held the bag up, it was light and you couldn’t contain your excitement. He always did this with gifts, he usually tried to guess what it was before he opened it but you were impatient.

“Open it!”

“Okay! Okay!” He laughed as he took the tissue paper out of the bag, he saw a key in the bag. The leather covering exposed exactly what kind of car it was.

He gasped, looking at you first and then the girls. Hazel smirking because she had been there for a lot of the process and had heard her dad discuss this car several times.

“Baby, you didn’t?” His hand was covering his mouth and he was nearly frozen.

Hazel and Jade shared giggles as they watched their dad remain in total shock.

Hazel handed you your phone out of her pocket and you called Clay, “You can pull into the driveway now!”

Just then you heard the rev of an engine and the four of you walked to the front of your house, you practically dragged Jack outside.

The car he had been talking to you about for the last year or more, was now in his driveway. It was a Bentley from the current year. It had luxury customized interior and was completely customized to Jack specifically.

He saw it and his jaw dropped.

He was speechless, standing at the top of the driveway as Clay got out of the car, tossing you the extra key.

“Surprised huh?” Clay laughed as his nieces ran to hug him.

“How did you keep this a secret?” He laughed, standing in front of the car and inspecting the exterior. “How did I not see this on any of the credit card statements?”

“You are so analytical” you laughed, walking over to him and holding him closer to you by the waist. “I’ll explain later but for now, do you like it?”

“I love it! Can we go for a drive?” He turned to you with a big smile on his face.

“Yeah! That’s also why I had Clay come. Go change your shoes!” You giggled looking down at his slides.

He ran inside and the girls were giggling as they poked and played with their uncle.

“I’ve never seen him that shocked in my entire life” Clay laughed and you did too.

“His face was like this” Hazel mimicked the stunned look on Jacks face making you, Clay and Jade laugh.

Jack came running out of the house ten minutes later in an entirely different outfit and his sunglasses. “I can’t be looking bummy in my new car. Especially when you look so beautiful. I also had to brush my teeth” he laughed.

You felt your cheeks warm up and he kissed you as he jogged to the passenger side to open your door for you.

“Thank you Mr. Harlow” you giggled.

“That’s Daddy Harlow”’ he winked as he walked over to the driver's side. You both waved at the girls and Clay as you pulled out of the driveway.

Jack drove to the end of the street, parking the car on the side of the road.

“Baby, thank you so fucking much” he practically shouted and you couldn’t help but feel a sense of pride for pulling something so big off.

He leaned over to kiss you, you could feel his kisses getting sloppier by the second, his hand reaching up against your neck.

You pulled back, honestly needing to come up for air. “You’re welcome, baby! You work so hard and do so much for us, it’s the least I could do. I love you so much.”

“I love you too, so damn much. This fucking interior is so-“ he rubbed his hands across the steering wheel.

“Sexy huh?” You wiggled your eyebrows.

“Now I know you didn’t wear that dress for no reason right?” He rasped, clearly in a mood.

“Jackman!” You giggled. “It’s daylight!”

“So tonight?” He chuckled but you knew he wasn’t joking.

“Yeah, your mom already said she’d watch the girls” You bit your lip.

“You thought of everything today, didn’t you?”

“It’s your day!” You smiled knowing he deserved it all.

“You knew better than to kiss me like that in this car too” he smirked, his dimple prominent.

“Mhm, put it in drive baby.”

The two of you drove around for an hour just talking about the future, your love, and all the things in between.

Ashes to Ashes

Masterlist

Pairing: ex!Rafe Cameron x female!reader

TW: toxic relationship (past), sort of cheating (?), exes to lovers, angst, i think that’s it

Summary: (Loosely) based on that’s the way i loved you by taylor swift

Word Count:4k

A/N: this is not super edited and the format is fucked up since i have to post from my phone but it’s here nonetheless.

You follow his lead when he opens the door for you, and step into the Island Club where your parents await your arrival. The harsh a/c causes goosebumps to erupt and a large warm hand rubs up and down your arm in an attempt to warm you.

He leads you to the table, pulls out your chair with a smile, and briefly kisses your cheek before turning to your mother.

She stands to greet him with a tight hug that he returns before pulling away and nodding at your father.

“Good to see you, son.”

Your mother nearly sends you flying backward when she squeals and leans forward as he takes his seat.

“We have so much to catch up on!”

you try your best not to grimace while Topper flashes his charming smile and reciprocates her enthusiasm as she starts spilling the latest gossip.

You zone out when he starts talking to your father about business, and turn your attention to the menu, despite eating here every Sunday since you can remember.

You freeze when a familiar feeling similar to butterflies at the top of a rollercoaster settles in your stomach, and slowly look up. As if you’re hardwired to know his location at all times, your eyes land on Rafe instantly. You know he feels you looking at him when he smirks, but he doesn't meet your gaze.

Part of you is thankful but a bigger part is disappointed. After a tumultuous relationship, you found yourself seeking solace in Topper. It wasn't on purpose really; he was just there and he seemed to have the insight to offer.

Slowly, the two of you became official and the talk of the Island Club. You're always told how lucky you are, and you know they’re right. You know it's wrong to harbor any sort of feelings for an ex, especially when your fiancé treats you as well as Topper does.

You were with Rafe all through high school and a couple of years into adulthood. His internship and eventual job with Ward had him all over the place, and fights became more frequent. Paranoia blossomed and accusations were tossed around freely as the two of you wrestled with jealousy and insecurity.

Eventually, you both had to come to terms with reality and decided that you needed something more stable.

It's been three years since the breakup, and almost two since you’ve seen him in person. When word spread about you and Topper, he threw himself into his work and last you heard he was in Italy.

He looks good with tan skin and a broader figure than he had at nineteen, and you try your hardest to avert your gaze. Your trance is finally broken when you hear Topper whisper into your ear, and you try not to shutter.

“You look beautiful, honey.”

You really do feel awful; Topper is sickly in love and you can barely recall his name after seeing an old flame.

“Thank you.” You smile, but it comes out as more of a grimace. Topper is none the wiser, but Rafe sees it from a mile away. He’s been watching since the second you looked away, and can’t help but want to be near you.

Despite his determination, Rafe has yet to find that something stable he’s searching for; he looks for you in every woman he crosses. It isn’t lost on him that even though you seem to have found it, you couldn’t look less in love.

He observes the way you interact with his old best friend over the rim of a whiskey glass, and can hardly recognize the woman in front of him.

There’s no spark in your eyes; no fire and passion the way there was with him. You're docile and indifferent as opposed to being a spitfire that was attached to his hip every second possible. A flicker of hope ignites in his chest and he can feel himself losing control and falling into your magnetic pull all over again.

Rafe has always been certain that the two of you have something far stronger than love. It's intoxicating and confusing and washes over you like a category-five hurricane. There is no choice but to surrender and let it rip you apart.

He’s considering saying hi just to hear your voice when you excuse yourself and scoot your chair back with a screech. He watches intently as you tuck your head down and make a beeline away from the table, then turns to see a baffled Topper staring at your back as you make a speedy exit.

Rafe gives a few seconds pause before setting down his glass and trying to follow after you nonchalantly. As suspected, you're hidden behind the back of the building with a joint and he smiles.

“Guess some things don't change.”

You nearly jump out of your skin when his voice rings out behind you, trying desperately to blame your rapid heart rate on the scare.

“Can’t say the same to you. You look like you vacationed on the sun and you're bald.”

There’s a moment of silence before you crack and the corner of your mouth curls up. It’s comforting in a way that is almost sickening and you quickly avert your gaze.

He shoves his hand in his pocket and tips his head forward as he laughs. You light up at the sound, and a part of you that you forgot about is revived. Suddenly, the world is in color again and you remember what it feels like to breathe.

He clears his throat and runs the back of his neck as his eyes travel to your hand.

“Yeah, and you’re engaged.”

He tries to keep some of the humor in his voice, but it comes out more pained and inquisitive. There’s a pause before he talks again, and if you didn’t know better you’d think he’s second-guessing himself.

“You don't seem too excited.”

You're caught off guard by his forwardness and shift on your feet.

“I’m comfortable and he treats me well.” You argue, and Rafe just nods while plucking the joint from your fingers and inhaling.

“Okay.”

You know it's a perfectly acceptable response, but for some reason, you feel the need to further defend yourself.

“He does! He’s polite, and he takes care of me and he respects me. Marrying him is sensible and I do love him!”

Rafe just watches intently, nodding along whenever it fits.

“You trying to convince me or yourself? I made a simple observation; never said you don't love him.”

Smoke billows out of his nose and you find yourself exhaling a breath you didn’t know you were holding along with him.

The side of you that only exists for Rafe starts to surface, and he can tell you’re resisting the urge to argue and yell. He’s always been able to get you worked up without even trying, and as much as you hate it, you love it all the same.

Rafe has a way of overloading your senses and emotions that you never understood, and it drives you mad.

You bite your tongue until you wince and huff loudly while crossing your arms. Rafe’s eyebrow quirks and you have half a mind to smack the antagonizing smirk right off his face.

“You don't ever get bored with sensible?” He presses and you narrow your eyes.

“We were insane Rafe. We would never work.” You sigh, but it does nothing to deter him.

He leans in close enough that you smell the whiskey and weed on his breath, and you pray he can't hear the way your heart is hammering in your chest.

“We’re the only thing that will work, Y/N. You can try and stick it out with Topper for the next sixty years, but you’ll always be mine first.”

Your mouth parts as you try to think of a response, but Rafe just tucks a strand of hair behind your ear and places the joint between your lips.

“If you're happy, then I can sleep at night. If you're not, then you always know where to find me. I’m back for good, now.”

He can see you processing the idea of him being around all the time and presses a daring kiss to the top of your head.

“Congrats on the wedding, kid.”

It's an old inside joke; when Rafe found out he's four months older he started calling you kid and when he realized it always makes your nose crinkle in distaste, he vowed to use it every chance he got.

With that, he walks off, and you're left reeling at the interaction and new information. You come around the corner just in time to see Rafe hug Topper goodbye, and nearly throw up.

You see Topper whisper something before Rafe pauses and then nods. Rafe goes in the opposite direction toward the back exit, and you make your reappearance.

Topper is naive and trusting, which should be a green flag. Despite a two-year disappearance and complicated history with you, he welcomed Rafe back with open arms and doesn’t seem to have a single suspicion.

Yet, you feel nothing except a pit in your stomach.

“Are you alright, Darling?”

You give your mom the same smile you always have when you don’t her to press further and nod.

“I’m great, there was just a long line for the restroom.”

You suffer through the rest of dinner and remain silent on the car ride home.

The shared house that you live in with Topper brings nothing but dread now, an overwhelming sense of familiarity that nearly causes bile to rise in your throat.

It was easy to convince yourself to be happy when you didn’t have to look at your past directly in its confusing and intoxicating blue eyes. Now that Rafe is back, you’re not sure your heart will be so easily fooled.

You try to remember why you broke up and how toxic the two of you are, which should be more than enough to drive any longing out of your mind. So then why are the memories of screaming and cussing and kissing all blurring together to form a montage that causes a black hole of sorrow and emptiness to open in your chest?

“Are you okay? You’ve been more quiet than usual.”

Your attention snaps back to the present and you scramble to appear normal and cover up your inner thoughts as if he can read them as they occur.

The genuine concern lacing Topper’s voice should cause butterflies, but you can’t bring yourself to feel anything but annoyance and borderline disgust.

“I’m fine.” You lie through your teeth, and much to your chagrin topper isn’t convinced.

“Are you sure, honey?”

His hand reaches out and you resist the urge to flinch away, as if the flesh of any man other than the one who was predestined for you will scorch through to the bone.

“Mmhmm.” You nod with a forced smile, biting your tongue hard enough to draw blood for the second time as you choke down what you really want to say just like always.

‘No, I haven’t been okay since the day Rafe became a stranger.”

‘No, I don’t want to marry you and have your babies in a stuffy house filled with even stuffier dinner parties. please don’t make me spend my life performing.”

‘No, I’ve never been so sure that I’m not okay as I am right in this very moment because with a single conversation, Rafe has turned my life upside and I’ve realized that there can never be anyone else.’

“Okay.”

He seems to finally relent and once again, it should bring you at least some sort of comfort; but instead, all you can think is that Rafe would know something is wrong.

It’s not until a short while later as you’re absentmindedly applying body lotion and staring off into space that the subject is brought up again, this time in a way that strikes you silent and halts your movements.

“It’s him, isn’t it?”

Four simple words that in any other arrangement would be meaningless, formulated just right to turn your blood to ice. To his credit, he’s more intuitive than you expected and in any other circumstance, that may just be something you could love about him.

However, in this situation, it means he knew of the demise your relationship is facing probably before you did. He knew from the moment Rafe showed up that you were never really his.

He felt you slip away the second your body went rigid before you even saw Rafe as if your body is designed on a molecular level to react to him. It was confirmed when Topper followed after you and overheard the conversation.

He was going to announce himself but as soon as he rounded the corner enough to see your face he stopped. The look in your eyes was one of love that Topper has never once witnessed, and he just watched for a second.

You didn't even seem aware as the words leaving your mouth contradicted your body language and it occurred to Topper that this isn’t something you can control.

It’s one of those things written in the stars; ancient and pre-destined to happen in every universe.

Ironically it wasn’t your relationship that convinced Topper of soul mates, but rather the way you look at the man he used to consider a brother.

Still, he has to give it one last shot.

“I know he was your first love, and if you want to go to him then I won’t stop you. Just consider the life we could have before you walk away.”

‘What life?’ You wonder. Scheduled date nights and forced show-casings at all the local events to keep up the facade of a perfect couple? Vanilla sex that never leaves you fully satisfied and eventually leads to having kids you can’t stand to look at because they remind you that the universe never asked what you wanted?

You watch Topper's face drop as you try to make yourself respond.

“No answer is an answer.”

Your lash line stings with hot tears as your mouth opens and closes a few times.

“I’m so sorry.”

And you truly are; sorry for the way this has all come to light, sorry for breaking his heart, sorry for the announcement and shame it will bring when you call off the wedding.

“Your parents will be livid. Not to mention the wedding is already paid for and only a few months away. We’re already receiving RSVPs.” He scoffs, and you nod slowly.

All valid points, but not a single one is even close to convincing you it's a good enough reason to stay.

You stare ahead for a moment and dig deep, trying to decide if courage would be doing the right thing this time, or jumping face-first into the most terrifying plot twist of your life.

“I think Mom and Dad might have to be disappointed in me for once.”

Topper gives a short nod and sniffs before standing to leave.

“Every woman around Rafe is goddamn poison.”

You watch as he slams the door and take a deep breath.

Perhaps he's right given his track record with you and Sarah, but whatever poison you bleed must be the same as Rafe’s. Maybe he’s just the antidote. Either way, the two of you seem to leech into each other's veins and seize all control of the heart and brain.

Your heart clenches in surprising agony as the reality of what you’ve just done sinks in, and you blink hot tears down your cheeks. You’re heartbroken and relieved at the same time, and after a moment you realize that lurking beneath those emotions is seething anger.

Anger at Rafe for coming back and planting doubts, anger at yourself for letting him, anger at the entire fucked up situation as a whole, and anger at the fact that despite all this, you really just want to see him again.

So against your better judgment, you throw on a comfy outfit and sneakers and slink down the hallway. Unfortunately, Topper is sitting on the couch with his head between his hands and you shift nervously when he looks up at you.

No words are spoken as you cast your eyes down and make a beeline for the door before he can try to stop you.

Twenty minutes later you’re sitting in the driveway at Tanny Hill with your eyes closed trying to figure out how the hell you wound up back here.

You’re supposed to be somebody's wife in a few months. Your wedding is the first of all your friends and fellow kooks, which means it’s going to be the biggest event of the year.

Your mother was elated when you crossed what seemed to be some invisible finish line to a race you didn’t want to compete in. You did the smart thing agreeing to marry Topper; so why the hell are you in your ex-boyfriend's driveway?

The reputation that would come with being married to Rafe is bad enough, but pair that with the scandal of how you ended up together and it’s a PR nightmare that may put your mother into an early grave.

Yet, you can’t bring yourself to care and that final thought is what forces you out of the car and around the house to rafes balcony.

You climbed the trellis more times than you can count in high school, and being back now brings a bittersweet wave of nostalgia.

Before you can think it through, you pick up a rock and hurl it at the window with a satisfying thunk.

“Fuck you, Rafe! I was doing fine and then you came back and I'm that eighteen-year-old girl again!”

Rafe's eyebrows furrow when he hears your familiar voice float through his bedroom window, and he’s just about to call himself crazy and move on when he hears it again.

“I know you hear me, asshole!”

He can’t help the devilish smirk that pulls at his lips as he stands, but he tucks it away and turns his mouth downward as he stands on the balcony.

“Y/N?”

You give him a blank expression as he feigns confusion, and throw your hands up dramatically.

“No shit! Oh-“ you begin, now feeling water drop down your back. “Just great, now it’s raining too!”

Rafe can't contain his grin; he’s always thought you’re cute when you get mad or frustrated and this time is no exception.

You’re about to start ranting again but you stop when you look up and see that Rafe is gone.

“Did that son a b-“ you start to mumble only to be interrupted by the French doors opening to reveal him in a pair of joggers you bought him and no shirt.

“Why are you here?” He asks and you just stand and stare at him for a moment before gesturing around and turning your face to the night sky.

“God only knows.”

He just watches for a moment and waits for the impending explosion he knows is coming.

“God you are such an arrogant ass!” You shout, no longer caring if the entirety of Figure Eight hears this fight.

“You’re the one who showed up at my house in the middle of the night!” He argues, and you push your now-soaked hair out of your face aggressively.

“You’re the one who showed up to shake my fiancée's hand like nothing happened almost two years after disappearing on me!”

He bounds down the steps, and you intentionally avoid looking at the beads of water forming on his golden skin.

“I didn’t do anything wrong!”

The two of you seem pulled together by magnets as you talk, each sentence bringing you closer together until you’re screaming in his face.

“God, you piss me off.” You growl, and Rafe just rolls his eyes in response.

“What’s new?”

His lip betrays the smile he’s biting back when it quivers, but you seem to be too focused on your thoughts to notice the tell.

“I really hate you sometimes.” You whisper and the sincerity in your voice causes him to falter.

“I know.” He frowns, and you swallow nervously.

“We slam doors and get jealous and start stupid fights.”

“But?” He presses, and the tears finally start to flow.

“But I miss it. I miss you. I shouldn’t miss you because Top treats me well and he loves me and I should be at home with him right now!”

The two of you are still pressed chest to chest, and you try not to let his cologne overwhelm your senses.

“So then why are you here?” He breathes, fingertips twitching at his sides as he resists the urge to reclaim their place against your flesh.

“Because he loves me..” you start, and Rafe gives into temptation as he pulls your hips into his and presses his forehead to yours while praying you’re about to say what he thinks you are.

“And I love you.”

The entire world comes screeching to a halt as your words settle over both of you and seep into your bones.

“And you love me.” He murmurs, partially to confirm and partially just to hear you say it again.

“Yes, I hate you and I love you and I hate that I love you but I do. I can’t spend my life living a lie.”

He stands still for a moment and you start to babble nervously as you realize for the first time that he could reject you.

“I kno-“ you start but you’re cut off by Rafe's lips smashing against yours.

“Shut up.” He groans into your mouth while both hands cup your face firmly and hold it in place.

You allow yourself to succumb and melt into him while nodding in agreement.

“You’re so infuriating and addicting and fucking beautiful and I hate it.” He growls between kisses, his hands tangled into your hair.

“But?” You whisper, recalling his sentiment from earlier.

“But I’ve been in love with you since 8th grade and I can’t seem to stop no matter what I do.”

Your lips part at the confession as you stare up at him doe-eyed, and he thinks this might just kill him. Even so, he’ll gladly lay at the feet of a weeping angel just to have you one last time.

You peer up at him for a moment and take him in all his glory with wild eyes and a heaving chest before making a split-second decision.

Your lips crash into his and he catches you with ease when you fling your body against him. One of his large hands settles on the curve of your waist to pull you closer while the other one grips your jaw and you melt into him.

The two of you submit to each other wholeheartedly, all but completely supporting each other's weight by the time you break apart.

“You might want to sleep with one eye open, Topper seems pretty pissed.” You try to joke, but Rafe shrugs.

“Topper has never been on my radar. Besides he already knew it was coming. I called him a week before I came back, he was just in denial until he saw how you reacted to seeing me.”

Suddenly you’re reminded of the country club and you pull away.

“What did Topper say?”

He reaches up to brush a hair off your face and contorts his face to a knowing grin.

“He told me to take care of you.”

Your eyes widen to the size of saucers and you start to feel the adrenaline drain. Reality sinks in and you feel your throat close up.

“Hey, don’t cry. It’s okay.” He soothes and you stifle a sob.

“I have to move out and call off a wedding that’s less than three months away!”

Rafe contorts his face into the scowl he only uses when he’s deadly serious and wipes your cheek.

“I’ll handle all of that, don’t worry.”

You sniffle and blink up at him tiredly.

“You would do that?”

Rafe chuckles as if it’s the most obvious thing in the world and kisses your head before pulling you in the direction of the house.

“For you, I’d do anything.”

From the bottom of my heart I hope 2024 is a better mental health year for everyone

its christmas eve and look whos on tumblr

all of us

Guilty

Paring(s): JJ maybank x fem!reader

Summary: it didn't matter that she did everything for him. it didn't matter that she loved him. insecurities ruin a great thing, love can't fix these problems

Authors note: angsty angsty angsty, bad JJ

Song rec: grave by tate mccrae

Perfect.

Everything had to be perfect. 

The perfect dress. The perfect makeup. The perfect boy. 

The past several days were borderline catastrophic with JJ getting arrested for sinking Topper’s boat. I begged and pleaded with my parents to help me get him out, promising them anything they wanted. They asked for the one thing I couldn’t give them. JJ. 

And yet, I said yes. I said yes because the thought of him sitting in a cell all alone, stuck with nothing but his thoughts made my stomach turn. He’s always thought that nobody needed him. Maybe that was something his drunken father drilled into him but it was far from the truth. I needed him.

Everything had spun out of control and it all started the minute I met JJ Maybank. But I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Being with him was like walking for the first time. Nerve wracking yet exhilarating--freeing.  

My life before him was just that, a life. Everything revolved around being the perfect little daughter to my parents. Debutantes, charity dinners, polo matches, and country clubs filled my schedule to the brim but they were rarely there. My mother was running a successful fashion line, working on her latest release while my father was a shark in the courtroom. While I loved every second of splurging on clothes, lavish trips to Europe, brunch at my favorite restaurant, I was missing something. I always felt like something was missing in a world where I had everything. 

That’s not to say I’m ungrateful for every opportunity my position and family has afforded me. But when you spend enough time with people you realize are only conversing with you for money or to step on you to increase their social capital, nothing seems genuine. 

Everything interaction was superficial and it became isolating. But with JJ, each and every moment we shared was intimate and unfeigned. 

He taught me how to surf the swells he spent hours in daily. I learned the slight touch of hand in the art of being a mild kleptomaniac. After several failed attempts and many loud complaints, I could finally balance on his dirt bike. 

None of these moments could be bought with money and maybe that’s why I cherished them so much. I cherished them so greatly that I refused to let them go.

And in turn, I couldn’t let him go. Despite the ever growing distance that's wedged itself between us the moment he was released from jail. Maybe it was a pride thing, or maybe it could have been the condescending jabs my dad threw his way, but JJ had pulled away. 

My father's threats to revoke the bail money hung heavy above our heads. So tonight, I was going to try and change that. I needed to bridge the gap that had us so far apart. Midsummers was how I was going to achieve that.

Closing my eyes, I took a deep breath and held it for several seconds to calm my racing heart. I open them slowly, dragging my gaze along my reflection on the floor length mirror at the entrance to the club. A silky number drapes my dainty figure in the softest brush of yellow with threaded pearls as straps. Ivory satin Jimmy Choo heels from their latest collection decorated my feet. 

The familiar rumble of a truck had a grin pulling at the corners of my lips. My parents were somewhere in the building, having been on the board and needed to sign off on some last minute details. 

I didn’t mind the constant abandonment. The loneliness that once clung to me had slowly evaporated the moment JJ entered my world. 

Grabbing my Chrsitian Dior clutch, I headed for the entrance of the Island Club. A familiar mass of shaggy blonde hair had my feet moving quicker. The minute his face came into view I knew something was wrong. 

His lips were tight in a grim line as he continuously shook his head. I quickened my steps, apologizing swiftly to several people who were trying to get my attention. 

“I’m sorry, sir. Are you a member here?”

“Well, no, but my girlfriend-.” 

“Then I’m afraid you're going to have to turn back around. This is a private club.”

“Listen dude, my girlfriend invited me and-”

“Sir, you need to get back into your vehicle before I call security.” The coordinator, who went by Ryan, dismissed JJ without a second glance.

JJ’s eyes narrowed. “If you’d let me speak-”

“This is private property.”

“Bro, calm down. You’re not protecting the president.” JJ huffed, shoving his hands into his pocket. His cheeks tinted a slight red which had my blood boiling. 

He was person. Period. One that didn't deserve to be treated like that especially in such a public setting. I was livid at the thought of Ryan managing to make JJ feel embarrassed. 

“You’re not a member-”

“No, but I am.” I snapped coming to a stop beside him, causing the event coordinator to rear his head back in surprise.

“Hey, baby. ” The familiar pull of his voice coated me like the warmest honey. A smirk tugged at his lips at the obvious irritation on my face. 

Pausing to give JJ my attention, I placed a soft kiss on his lips and pushed back a wild strand of blonde hair. “Hi.”

The smile he gave me was like a sudden beam of light that hit me square in the chest. 

“I am so sorry. I didn’t realize he was with you-”

“Add JJ Maybank to my member account,” My words were sharp and left little room for argument, though they were dripping with the sickeningly sweet tone I mastered at the young age of twelve. “Consider yourself up to date.”

“I’ll get it done.” With that, Ryan tipped his head and left quickly. 

I bristled once more, muttering under my breath, ”Dick.” My chest was heavy with guilt at his treatment, wondering if this was actually a good idea. I gnawed at my bottom lip nervously.  

This was not how I wanted our night to start. 

“I’ve never been a member before.”

Not bothering to conceal my giggle, I turned around and allowed my eyes to drift over every inch of JJ. The black suit I bought him was fitted and hugged every muscle in a way that had my stomach clenching. 

Sun kissed hands reached for me the moment I was within his reach. My arms wrap around the mass of lean muscles, my nose buried in his neck. Taking a deep breath, salt and sex wax filled my senses and I let myself relax. 

Home. He felt like home.

“You look very handsome.”

A rumble left his chest. “My sugar mama bought it for me.”

Hiding my face in his chest, a loud laugh slipped past my lips. JJ shushed me almost immediately, “People are looking. We can’t have them thinking we’re together.”

I pulled away, trying to keep a straight face at his antics. “We are together.”

“Shit, we are?” He held out his hand, amusement and mischief dancing in his eyes. “My sugar mama can’t find out or she’ll cut me off.”

How could I not love him when he made me laugh so hard my stomach hurt?

I hit his arm with my purse in mock outrage before taking his hand while his other touched my bare back. The feel of his rough calloused hands from all his hard work has me suck in a breath. Those rough hard hands knew my body intimately, inside and out. 

“Do that again and I’m finding the nearest bathroom.” JJ leaned down, his lips brushing against the top of my ear. 

A clearing of the throat had us both turning our heads. My father stood there with a stoic face, his eyes promising retribution later. 

Looking at my father directly in the eye, I place my arm in the crook of his, lacing us together. 

“I see you brought a friend.” The last word is spoken with clear disdain. 

My grip on JJ’s arm tightened. “I brought my boyfriend.”

“We’ll talk about this later.” 

As if they’d actually be home, I thought but decided to keep that to myself.

Deciding that this entire conversation was pointless, I was dragging JJ away from the pair when my father grabbed JJ, whispering something in his ear.

My stomach shrunk and apprehension filled me as the light look of JJ’s face fell, replaced with a flat look and hardened eyes. 

“Duly noted, sir.” His mouth curled in a sarcastic snark. 

I shot my father a disappointed look. Curling myself into JJ’s side, my arm wrapped around his waist and I tugged us into the party. “Ignore him, please.”

“Already forgotten, princess.”

My eyes watch his face for any sign of distress, but find nothing. Guilt ebbed aways at my walls.

“Let’s go find Mr. Adams. He owns a chain of surf shops. I’m sure if we schmooze him, we can get you a solid job or maybe even a board.” I tossed him a wink that had him grinning. 

“I like the way you think. Lead the way, gorgeous.”

Despite his hand on my back, all the warmth we had a mere moments ago was gone. I couldn’t help but notice the small distance he kept between us. One that didn’t exist until my father opened his mouth. 

Several hours later, the sun had begun to set and a cool breeze now caressed my bare back. I embraced the cool breeze due to the several glasses of champagne I had. 

Despite my love for the warm buzz it gave me, it did little for my bladder. “I’ll be right back.”

His eyes widened in alarm. “You can’t leave me here with these people.”

I smothered my laugh with my hand. “Did you want to come with me?”

“To the bathroom? Kinky, I’m in.” JJ responded, clutching my hand in his before expertly pulling us through the crowd. 

Nothing could peel off the cheesy smile that bore my face. Despite the slight hiccup at the beginning of the night, JJ charmed most of the members with his charm and humor. I was hoping with some networking, I could help JJ get some security. I believed he was capable of doing just about anything. He had such determination and never let failure keep him down. 

JJ knew how to hussle and I wanted everyone to see his potential, even if at times he didn’t see it himself. 

My heels clicked along the granite floor, our hands swinging in the air. A shriek escaped my lips as JJ twirls me around, my dress swishing around my ankles. “Gorgeous.” He puffed out his cheeks, his gaze boring into mine.

Our matching grins were nothing short of radiant. Being with him was easy in a world filled with difficult people. 

“Well this is disgusting.”

JJ went rigid. That wouldn’t have concerned me if he hadn’t muttered panicked curses under his breath. “If someone says one more thing to me..”

JJ never let Rafe intimidate him before but for some reason JJ seemed a little more hesitant with this exchange. Realization dawned on me. The boat. Fuck. 

I let my hands fall while rolling my eyes and turning to face Rafe. There he stood in all his stuck up glory, not a hair out of place and his suit neatly pressed. He looked every bit of a country member as one could possibly be with the light blue suit paired with a white undershirt and blue bow tie, brown dress shoes on his feet. 

“Don’t you have another line to snort?” I asked.

Sure, Rafe was conventionally attractive, if you didn’t pay attention to the blown pupils and the constant brush of his nose or the foggy look in his eyes. 

JJ snickered beside me, his hand softly tapping my ass twice in support. 

“JJ, go get me a drink.” Rafe cocked his head.

“I’m actually a member here now.” JJ responded, his hand caressed my cheek softly.

Shocked painted Rafe’s face. “That’s not poss-”

Kelce and Topper stood beside him, both in colored pressed suits as well. They kind of looked like the-”You powerpuff girls have fun.” JJ said with a crooked smile and a tip of the hat.

He seized me by the wrist and strode over to the exit. Relief at his plan to avoid a fight was fleeting at Rafe’s next words.

“If I knew a trailer home and food stamps was all it took for you to open your legs, I would have tried a long time ago.”

JJ jerked around in seconds, ripping out of my grip. He stalked towards Rafe, drawing his arm back before connecting with his jaw. 

A shout passed my lips, my hands covering my mouth in horror as JJ struck Rafe twice more, one blow hitting him directly on the nose. Blood began to gush out of Rafe’s nose, staining his dress shirt a deep crimson. “Say that shit again. Say it.”

Rafe let out a mirthless laugh, his lips pulled at the sides revealing his red stained teeth. “Once a pogue, always a pogue. Isn’t that right, JJ?”

Kelce jumped into action, his arm wrapping around JJ’s neck, pulling him off a Rafe into an effective headlock. That’s when I noticed two more hulking figures and suddenly we were surrounded. 

“Five on one, Rafe? Really?” JJ choked out, tugging at Kelce’s arm. 

Without thinking, I walked behind Kelce and slammed the metal clasp of the bag against the side of his head. Once. Twice. Three times. “Let go of him!” 

Kelce let out a yelp and jerked back, causing his grip on JJ to loosen just enough for him to get free. I went towards him in an instant, but he pushed me behind him as he surveyed the remaining men in front of us. 

Whispers dragged my attention from the scene in front of me as I locked eyes with several members who had poked their heads into the locker area. Shit, this really wasn’t good. I needed to get JJ out of here as soon as possible. I didn’t want to give my father any more ammunition against him. 

Clutching his arm, I tugged him once more towards the exit. I could hear more activity outside the locker room which had me pulling at him harder. I wasn’t going to let Rafe make him look bad in front of all these influential people. Over my dead body. 

“People are coming. We have to go.”

His chest rose and fell with quick breaths, his steele blue gaze not leaving Rafe’s.

“I’m serious. For me, JJ, please?” My final plea seemed to have pulled him out of his angry haze. Without wasting a second, he let me pull him further and further away from the group. Lacing his hand in mine, I made quick work of fixing his suit and his hair, pressing soft kisses as I went. 

“Whenever you’re done slumming it, you know where I am.” Rafe called out from behind us, earning us enough leers from fellow members. 

He tore his hand from mine. “Fuck this.” 

Apprehension coursed through me.

I could feel the storm brewing with each step he took. I trailed behind, my small steps nothing to his long strides. Rafe hit a nerve. One that JJ refused to acknowledge and let fester for months now. It was the elephant in the room any time I offered to pay anything at all. It bothered him, all the money my family had.

“Ignore him, Jayj.” I called out from behind him but his steps never faltered. “Rafe was just trying to get a reaction out of you.”

I could hear the soft melody of the music drifting over the wind from the party that was supposed to fix all our problems. Perhaps I was sticking a bandaid on a gaping wound. 

His shoulders were tense as he stopped a couple feet in front of me, shaking his head. Nerves had my stomach in knots. I only had one shot at trying to fix this. Feelings were never JJ’s thing. He spent months fighting our attraction before he finally gave in. Dating a Kook was never something JJ considered. 

Unfortunately, it was something others thought as well because they never failed to remind him. My father included. 

So here we are. JJ was backed into a corner and like any wounded animal, he had two choices. He could concede or attack and I knew JJ like the back of my hand. He would never give up, so instead he’d go for the throat. 

Too bad it was my throat he went for. 

“I understand-” I stopped speaking the moment JJ whipped around, his eyes cutting me deeply.

“You don’t.” I didn’t respond. My eyes lingered on his busted lip and bruised chiseled face. “You don’t understand so please don’t try to make me feel better by pretending that you do.” 

I pursed my lips. JJ was right, I didn’t understand what it was like to be in his position, but that didn’t mean I didn’t care. That I didn’t want to take away every ounce of pain if it meant he would be happy. 

“You’re right. But Jayj, it’s Rafe.” I argued softly, not wanting to draw attention to us. “He always says shit like that to rile you up but you’ve never let it bother you before. Why now?”

JJ’s face flushed. “Because he’s fucking right. That’s why it bothers me.”

My lips wobbled and I pressed them together. I had gone out of my way to ensure he’d never feel this way. I guess I failed. 

I moved closer, my steps unsure and clumsy. “You never said anything.”

My hand rested against his chest, and I could feel the familiar pounding of his heart. 

“That’s nothing new.” He lifted his shoulder in a half shrug.

That did little to ease the emotional storm brewing within me. Every interaction since he was little was nothing short of violent and negligent. 

He wasn’t used to softness and kindness. We were trying to navigate in uncharted waters but we’re thrown off the boat every time the water got choppy. 

“We can go. Let’s just go, baby. Let me just say bye to my parents-“

“Stop.” He demanded, his tone serve. So unlike JJ. 

I dropped my hand and instead chose to focus on the sound of our breathing. I had to keep my head on straight, because I could tell he was already building up his wall so high, making his fortress impenetrable. 

JJ had never had a consistent thing in his life and I’ll be damned if I let that happen to us. 

Squaring my shoulders back, I faced his heated gaze head on. If he wanted an argument, he’d get one, but we’d both be leaving together. 

I had no intention of going anywhere. 

“Stop?” I echoed, raising my brow.

His eyes were as cold and hard as obsidian. “Yes, stop. How is leaving going to solve any of this?” 

“You’re picking a fight with me for no reason. I’m not the one you’re mad at.”

JJ raked his fingers through the sun bleached golden strands causing them to fall along his forehead. “Maybe I am.”

My eyes widened at his words. What had I done? He’d shared every bit of his world with me and I only wanted to do the same. 

Was that not what people do when they’re in love? Aren’t you supposed to share your interests with your partner and aren’t they supposed to want to know them? 

“For what?” 

He tugged at his shirt collar. “Why am I here?”

My brows furrowed in confusion. Why would he even ask that? 

“Why am I here, at this Midsummer's bullshit?” 

“Because I wanted you to be.” I smoothed out my hair to give my trembling hands something to do. “It’s something that matters to me, it’s not bullshit.”

I had spent months planning this party since my parents were on the board. I wanted everything to be perfect for them and for him. It all seemed silly now. A part of that stung deep in my soul. Bullshit was never a word I used to describe any of the interests he showed me, yet he so easily spouted it at me.

JJ stayed quiet but continued to fidget with the silver ring on his finger. I wanted to close the distance between us but didn’t know how. 

“Don’t let Rafe of all people ruin this. His opinion means nothing.” 

He lifted his chin. “It matters to your dad.”

I barely held back my wince. “He doesn’t get a say in who I date, JJ.”

“Oh, are we lying to each other now?”

“W-What do you mean?”

“Are we going to pretend that you don’t care about what your parents think?”

I took a step back as though he hit me. “Stop talking before you say something you’ll regret.”

“Everything you do is to get their attention. You’d die without their approval.”

In a manner of speaking, he was right. My parents barely paid me an ounce of attention and it was hard not to think it had to do with me. There must have been something wrong with me for my parents to not want to spend time with me. I spent the majority of my life trying to live up to their expectations hoping to be the daughter they always wanted, but nothing worked. I couldn’t get them to love me.

And he threw it all in my face.

I stared at him with tears in my eyes, hurt and stricken. 

At the sight of my tears, he looked away with his jaw clenched. 

“Why are you with me?” He hissed, holding out his arms. “It’s not like I can take you to dinner in Paris or buy you the clothes you like so much.”

Insecurity was a cruel thing. It had the power to turn someone as confident and sure as JJ into a puddle of irate nerves. And as his insecurity continued to dig its hooks further into his skin, he continued to rip into me, piece by piece.

“Because I love you. Because you make me laugh.” My voice raised, my hands clenched into fists by my sides. “Where is this coming from?”

Anxiety wound its way up my throat clocking off my air. 

“You’re fucking shoes are four grand. Do you know what I could do with four grand? I could get the power turned on in my house, or better yet, pay for the house.” The look he shot me had me wanting to be six feet under. He’d never looked at me like that before. He made me sound vapid and superficial. Like I didn’t spend most of my time on his side of the island. 

The guilt I felt early came back tenfold. Guilt for my position. Guilt for the money my family had. Guilt for the things I enjoyed buying, both for him and myself. 

Maybe I was just as bad as Rafe. 

Pain sliced my chest as his gaze continued to penetrate me like bullets.

“The other side of the island is starving and everyone here is drinking champagne and gambling a mortgage for fun. It’s disgusting.” JJ began to pace, shaking his head in disbelief. “You had me kissing ass to all these people, and for what? A job? Stop trying to turn me into something that I’m not.”

I wrapped my arms around my waist. “That wasn’t what I was doing. I was trying to open doors for you so you had options. All I wanted was to help give you a fighting chance.”

“I didn’t ask for your help.” The words continued to pelt at me, hitting my heart every time. The pressure in my chest only tightened further.

“Isn’t that what you’re supposed to do for the person you love?” My voice shook, matching the trembling of my body. “It never mattered before.”

I'd never been in love before him. I didn't have anything to compare it too since the most affection I get from my parents is a card on my birthday. I thought by doing everything they didn't do for me, supporting and comforting and physical touch, would somehow translate into love.

“Of course it mattered. You’re a fucking Kook.” The raw and angry words seeped into my veins, the audible crack of my heart echoing for all to hear.

My throat constricted. Enough, I couldn’t hear anymore. No, no, no. But JJ seemed to have other plans.

“I mean, I’m standing here in a custom Tom Ford whatever that could have fed me for months. I’m out of my element and it makes my skin fucking crawl. John B is getting sent to CPS and Pope is getting jumped and I’m here at some stupid dinner with the people that did it to him. What does that make me?”

My chest cracked open and my heart caved in. I finally saw the broken boy in front of me. Bruised and broken, completely uncomfortable and unsure of himself. 

“Kiara’s a kook.”

“Kiara’s different and you know that.” It remained unsaid but I knew what he was referring to. Kie was a hippie rich chick who didn’t enjoy all the things I did: designer clothes, luxury dinners, expensive food. In other words, I was a self absorbed kook princess that didn’t care for those around me. 

It didn’t matter that I spent most of the summer with JJ helping him fix homes in the cut. It didn’t matter that I donated to charities or helped send care kits to those on the cut after the hurricane. It didn’t matter that I spent almost all my free time with him and the pogues just as Kiara did. 

To him, I represented everything he hated. It didn’t matter that I loved him so deeply I defied my parents. It didn’t matter that I upended my life and chose to be with him. He could never see past the money, something I had no control over.  

I may have been standing in custom Christian Dior and Jimmy Choo, but I’ve never felt more cheap as JJ continued to cut me down with each word. 

“Do you want me to apologize?” My pulse spiked as a burst of adrenaline had me spouting the truth. “I had just as much a choice of being born on figure eight than you did on the cut.”

He looked at me like he hated me. “I don’t know how we deluded ourselves into thinking this could ever work.”

“You don’t get to stand there and make me feel guilty for who I am. Just because I have money and like nice things, doesn’t make me an asshole. I’ve treated everyone in my life with kindness. Don't group me with them.” 

JJ scoffs, pointing at the crowd on the dance floor. “Them? Them--means your parents, baby”.

“I’ve never treated you less than me.” It was a last ditch effort.

“At least I know what Kook pussy tastes like.” He went for the kill. “Money and daddy issues.”

I stilled. The world stilled. Vicious hurt curled its way into my soul, etching every bit of it until I no longer existed. 

Like I said before, I had no intention of going anywhere. But, I guess to JJ, he always had one foot out the door.

I think I stopped breathing. I blinked at him, hoping cameras would pop out and the whole thing came out as a prank. But, no cameras appeared. 

Just him and I stood, in a field, an arms length apart but a universe away. 

“You don’t mean that.” The words came out strangled. “Take it back.” 

He said nothing. I had to bring a fist to my mouth to try and block out the harsh sob that threatened to escape.

“JJ, please.” I begged, my hands catching his arm. “Let’s just go.”

His normal vibrant eyes regard me coldly, a muscle jumping his jaw. I was drowning in my emotions. Everything had escalated to a level I couldn’t fix, because he wouldn’t let me. The bathroom seemed forever ago in the scheme of things. I can see the battle in his eyes of whether to give into his self destructive behavior or to come back to me. 

Any hope I had of him coming back to me dissolved in a matter of seconds. A security guard came up behind him, gripping JJ by the forearm and tugging us towards the front of the party. My eyes widened in horror as I realized they were going to parade him around in front of everyone which would just humiliate him more.

“Jeez Daryl, could you loosen up your grip,” JJ complained, attempting to jerk out of the large man’s grip. He didn’t so much as flinch at each of JJ’s gripes either.

"What do you think you're doing?" I snapped, "Let him go, Darryl."

Darryl shook his head and gave me an apologetic look. "No can do. Mr. Cameron complained."

JJ Scoffed. “I can let myself out. I have two legs.”

“JJ, please stop.”

“I appreciate the discretion, Daryl.”

He self-destructed right in front of me. JJ grabbed a drink off an unsuspecting member and chugged it down before tossing the glass on the floor.

In the end, JJ was always going to be JJ. I saw the moment he decided to destroy everything we had. It was a slight shift in his body and that penetrating gaze of his hardened into a cruel amusement. JJ shrugged my hand off his, before his eyes flitter across the crowd as though he's looking for someone. Then I watched as they landed on a familiar brunette. 

“Hey, let him go. I’m a member of this club and I invited him.” Kie shouted at Darryl who paused for a brief moment. I could see her parents trying to discreetly get her to stop but Kiara refused. At the sound of her words, an appreciative grin tugged at JJ’s lips.

It didn’t matter that I had said the same thing hours ago. It didn’t matter that I not only defended him but made him a member. I liked shiny flashy things and she didn’t. Apparently, that made her better than me.

“Mandatory power hour at Rixon’s, Kie.” He shouted, pointing at where she stood in front of her parent’s. “Pope, you as well, alright?”

I had a disposition for loving people too much, no matter how they treated me. And for the first time in my life, I didn’t care that I wasn’t presentable. I didn’t care that tears were falling down my face or that my hair was a mess. I didn’t want to be left behind. He promised.

“Let me come-”

Exasperation filled his features. "Take a fucking hint. You can go be with someone like Rafe now. You two belong together."

“Alright, Kie c’mon.” He didn’t spare me a second glance. I had to watch as Kie took off running towards him with Pope in tow. JJ held out his arms to catch her, arms she happily jumped into. John B lets out a humored shout while JJ spins Kiara around and they take off.

Leaving me all by myself. My parents nowhere in sight. 

And suddenly everything hit me at once. My dress was too tight, my heels were pinching at the skin on my feet, the music was too loud, my hair was a mess. Nothing I did was right. Once again, I was left alone. Abandoned by the one person I thought would never leave. All because I loved him too much and he hated everything I couldn’t control.

I stood there, feeling like a silly little girl in a silly little dress I spent hours looking for, urging him to look back. He never did. 

Authors note: I hope I hurt your feelings because I hurt my own writing this :) pls let me know what u think!!! I love hearing from you guys

Tagging my favs: @maybankslover @sipsthecoffee @alyisdead

can i get a hell yea if you’re still gonna be wasting your time on this website in 2014

@shoesltz

tell me im wrong

Now why can't I watch a football game without that girl being mentioned? Yall act like she's about to be fucking drafted or some shit 🙄

Harry at the 2023 Grammy Awards - 02.05.2023

Rest in peace Angus Cloud 🕊 (1998-2023)

Cutie

Zendaya as Tashi Duncan Challengers (2023) dir. Luca Guadagnino

all things go

THIS IS NOT NO FREE USE SHIT YOU CAN NOT USE MY WORK

pairing(s): rafe cameron x fem!reader

prompt(s) used: Kiss(es) on the inside of the palm/wrist. + “I love you more than words can express.”   + “You never loved me, did you?” “I just think it’d be best if we never met.” “I hope you’re happy.” “I hope you got what you wanted.” + two character’s dying together, laying outside in the cold, rain, holding hands  with rafe please i know this sounds crazy but I know you'll do justice to it (requested by nonnie)

warning(s): NO SEASON 2 SPOILERS, angst but like kinda fluffy ig, shooting, heartbreak and unedited work

a/n: this has to be like one of the best fics ive ever written in my opinion but yall tell me what you think gif credit to @phoebejays

Rafe Cameron had always wanted to please his father, ever since he was a young boy he looked up to Ward and he would do anything to please the man even if it meant breaking up with the love of his life; you.

You were different than anyone he had every met, you weren't afraid of Ward and you sure as hell weren't afraid of Rafe. You made Rafe better like seriously better and he really loved you but here he was ripping out your heart because his father told him to.

"You're breaking up with me?" Your voice was soft and hurt, the look in your eyes made him want to take it back. You couldn't understand what you had done wrong. "Rafey" tears filled your eyes and Rafe closed his, oh the nickname got to him.

He blurted out his next words “I just think it’d be best if we never met.” You froze "O-Oh I-" you let out a heavy breath looking up at the man you loved but he wouldn't dare look back you. "What did I do?" You whispered your hands shaking.

He blinked a few times trying to form words "I found someone else" he lied and he watched as you shut your eyes trying to hold back tears. “You never loved me, did you?”

Rafe's heart was in pain as he watched you. He just wanted to kiss you, hold you and he wanted to take you for a walk on the beach like he always did and he really just wanted to love you

"No"

And that was true start of Rafe Cameron's downfall, Rafe needed an anchor and you were his anchor. You kept him sane, you kept him in check because unlike everyone else you weren't afraid of Rafe could do to you, you were just afraid of what he would do to himself.

Rafe didn't have that person to care anymore and everyone could see it even Barry had tried to get him to go see you but it was already too late, it had been 3 months.

Rafe was fucked.

JJ Maybank sat on the porch at Chateau humming softly when he heard frantic footsteps and he caught sight of Wheezie Cameron tears streaming down her face.

She had heard her father speaking, he was going to kill Rafe. She couldn't understand why, Rafe had done everything he asked but she knew Rafe was just another loose end to Ward Cameron rather than a son.

"Are you okay?"

"Where's Sarah!?" She yelled in a panic "She's inside what's going on?" He stood infront of the young girl "Sarah!" She screamed out sobbing into JJ's chest and her older sister quickly ran out of the home, the rest of the pogues behind her.

"What happened?" Sarah asked looking at JJ who shrugged "He's gonna kill him, He's going to kill Rafe" was all she could say and Sarah eyes widened "What?"

"He's going to kill Rafe, we have to save him"

Wheezie knew Rafe was fucked up, more than fucked up but she was able to see a different side of Rafe when he was with you. You encouraged him to be better and he was.

"We have to get Y/N" Wheezie cried

Rafe stared down at the water of the beach as his father rambled about something but all Rafe could think about was you.

Ward was behind him and he heard the gun cock. Rafe froze "Dad" he whispered "I'm sorry" was all Ward said but Rafe didn't try to fight.

If he died now, he'd be alright.

Rafe turned to his father and closed his eyes but the gun shot didn't ring in his ears. "Rafe run!" You yelled and he saw you on top of Ward fighting for the gun.

He looked to see the Pogues and Wheezie there "Come on!" Wheezie yelled to try and get her brother to come to her and he began to make his way to her.

"He's your son" you and Ward fought for the gun "Something's have to be done, you wouldn't understand" he growled and then the gun shot rung out.

Everything seemed to freeze for a second and haunting silence coming over the area.

You looked down at the blood beginning to appear staining your white dress. It was the same dress you had worn on your first date with Rafe. You held the wound on your abdomen gasping "Fuck you Ward"

Ward pushed you off of him your back hit the sand of the beach as you tried to ground yourself.

You heard Wheezie's cries and you heard commotion.

Rafe was in shock and out of pure adrenaline he lunged at his father.

Small droplets of rain began to hit your face as Rafe hit Ward as hard as he could causing the older man to fall back on the floor but he didn't stop hitting him harder. Blood began to spill from Ward's face.

"I could kill you" Rafe's hands wrapped his neck squeezing and Ward's eyes widened "I could kill you right now" Rade growled but he let go "But I'm not like you" Rafe nodded his head a light smile on his face, you had taught him that. He wasn't his father, he didn't need to be his father "I'm nothing like you" he began to stand up going to walk towards you.

"You're not a man" Ward choked out and Rafe shook his head turning towards his father once more before kicking him in his face.

The Pogues began to run towards you "Y/N" Wheezie yelled bending down next to you "I'm fine" you whispered though everyone could see you weren't "Are you okay?" You asked the girl and she nodded "I'm okay, I'm okay" she hugged you softly.

"We won" Pope told you and you let out a chuckle "What'd we win?" you breathed out trying not to close your eyes and Pope looked at the rest of the group, JJ and John B shrugged not knowing what to say but Kiara bent down next to you "Freedom" she whispered leaning down and kissing your forehead, tears in her eyes.

You were her best friend.

Rafe stumbled towards you smiling, he was finally going to touch you after all this time but then two more gunshots rang throughout the area.

Rafe froze in shock, he heard the shots before he felt it.

He clutched his chest and everyone turned but it wasn't Ward who had shot him.

Wheezie looked a small gasp leaving her lips.

"Sarah" she gasped out seeing her sister with the gun "What'd you do!?" Wheezie began to scream in anger as Rafe dropped to his knees.

"WHAT DID YOU DO!? HOW COULD YOU!?" She screamed as JJ held her back from lunging at her sister as Rafe dropped on the floor "HE'S OUR BROTHER! HE'S MY BROTHER!"

Sarah couldn't believe she had done it “I hope you’re happy! I hope you got what you wanted!" Wheezie yelled at her.

Rafe tried to catch his breath reaching out for you. You held his hand in your intertwining your fingers as The pogues ran to Sarah trying to get the gun for her.

"I'm sor-"

"Shh Rafey, it's alright" you whispered "Wheezie told me everything" Rafe's eyes filled with tears "You know I always thought we'd die old together" he said honestly and you let out a soft chuckle before coughing "I'm getting major deja vu right now" you mumbled "and I don't know why" he smiled the memory of your first date in his head as it began to rain.

The two of you laying back on the sand, your fingers intertwined just like this except things were different then.

“I love you more than words can express.”  He said tears spilling from his eyes as he lifted your hands up to his lips kissing your knuckles as your hand loosened from his. He kissed your fingertips sobbing harder before kissing your palm. "I love you Rafe"

"CALL THE POLICE!" Wheezie screamed out.

"I love you more" his eyes began to shut "Do you think we'll meet again in another life?" He asks in a hopeful voice.

"Y-yeah" you stuttered

"Goodbye"

"Bye Baby"

a/n: omg i hope you enjoyed this please please tell me what you think and feel free to request

<333

I looooove dad!rafe sososososo much🤭🤭😍 like imagine his and readers kid starts calling reader babe and stuff, thinking its her name because of how much rafe uses that nickname

rafe calls you sweetheart all the time.

sweetheart did you see my shirt?

sweetheart i am home!

so it was only natural that noah caught on.

at first you weren't quite sure what he meant.

"mommy! tart!" he placed his small hands on your cheeks.

"tart?" you asked him but what you received was a series of incomprehensible babbling.

"you want tart? but you just ate, baby" in fact, you had dinner only half an hour ago and noah ate a lot, even more than you.

he shook his head, pointing his little index at you "tart!"

rafe that was sitting next to you was also trying to figure out what your son wanted.

"turtles?" but noah shook his head again.

"tart!" noah exclaimed again, wrapping his tiny arms around you.

he looked so cute with his cheek squished against your chest. he was rafe's twin, with his blue eyes and blonde hair but he was a very quiet and shy kid around strangers, making you extra protective of your baby.

"sweetheart." rafe sighed "i've got no idea what he's saying"

"mommy! tart!" when little noah looked between his dad and you, it clicked.

"oh you mean mommy?" rafe found it hilarious, of course noah thought your name was sweetheart.

in fact he had forgotten the last time he called you with your full name, you were his honey, sweetheart, sweet girl.

"yeah she can be our tart." he whispered to your son, making him giggle even though you doubted your two year old understood what his father said.

Slane (6/10) | Grapejuice