I Want To Escape My Mind

I want to escape my mind

Before it kills me

;

-sometimes it's the worst place to be in,

katie, 21:00

Darling when this is over

A walk at the beach will cure

All the austere longings

We managed to ease somehow

Through late night conversations

And scattered poems

-I miss you so much,

-katie, 19:45

Many won't agree with what I'm going to say but it's a truth that needs to be heard. Love doesn't really hurt, it heals. If you've known love as something that ruptures your soul so you ended up shredded, maybe what you had was a counterfeit and haven't really met love after all.

For...

Love doesn't judge. It understands. Love doesn't take offense. It forgives. Love doesn't ridicule. It appreciates. Love doesn't outcast. It takes you into its arms for comfort. Love doesn't abuse. It heals.

Love is love. And it's something that you can run to after a long day of fighting wars. It's something that can put you back together after you've been shattered. It's something you can trust with your life for it doesn't betray. It's love.

And it's not...

A train. You don't need a ticket to board it. You don't need to run on your toes to catch it because it's leaving. Love doesn't leave. It stays. Surprisingly, even when we don't need it, it's just there.

It's not...

A game. People would play it with their selfish rules. But it doesn't need to be played. No one wins or loses in love. We're all equal in its eyes.

It's not...

On material things. It can't be measured by the value of gifts given. It can't be monetized. It doesn't have a currency.

It's not...

Something that you have to deserve. There are no requirements. You don't need to be beautiful or intelligent or rich or famous. We're all worthy of love. No one is below or above us.

For...

Love is love, regardless of how society tries to stain its name in an effort to fit it into the norms. It's been disgraced. Used to manipulate. Screamed out to frighten those who don't have a slight clue about what it is.

So...

If the hands you hold push you to be a stone and don't seem to transform you at all, let go. If the lips you kiss spit venom into your tongue that you end up poisoned and left to die, let go. If the arms wrapped around your waist don't hold you like you're going to fall apart, let go. If the eyes you stare at pierce your flesh that you bleed and shriek out in pain, let go. It's not love. I said it earlier and I'll say it again: LOVE DOESN'T HURT, IT HEALS.

Think about that.

(my love, you aren't aware of this but you redefine love to me everyday.)

-love as redefined,

letters to Jeffry,

katie, 18:00, 9th of March2020

Billions of stars scattered

None outshines

Your eyes

Baby they shine

Brightly tonight

As I-

Once again fall

In love

With the beautiful soul

I glimpse

From your retinas

-glimpse from your retinas,

-katie, 01:30

9th ❤

for Jeffry

You are the blessing I didn't ask for but were given;

You are the miracle I didn't pray for but happened.

You happened. And my love, I've become my best version. Thank you for calming my storm. Now everything in me is pacific. Thank you for taming my demons. Now they kneel and wear golden halos.

Since you happened, the lips that refused to pray started uttering praises to God who made this blissful encounter possible.

Because you happened, I lift my hands up above, call out in the voice of a Seraphim as I feel my wings growing...

Wings that were severed when I-

I renounced my faith in love.

You happened, so I regained everything I ever lost from fear and doubt and wrath.

You are the gift I didn't ask for but were bestowed;

You are the guardian I didn't pray for but were sent to bring me home...

You were sent TO BE my HOME.

-god sent, katie

7th of March 2020 @23:30

"Look at the stars!" he said.

"You mean, your eyes?" she replied.

-katie, 19:00