A Million Times Over

a million times over

request: JJ x reader where the reader breakdowns in front of him and it ends with sad love confession if u get what I mean

warnings: parents getting divorced, angst with a happy ending, unedited

a/n: no i totally do babe this was therapy to write. hope you enjoy!

It had all become too much lately. School, your family, your gigantic unrequited crush on JJ. It was weighing on you like Atlas holding up the world, an unmovable weight on your shoulders. 

It all came crashing down when your parents told you they were splitting up. You don’t know why it was the tip of the iceberg, you knew in the back of your mind it was coming, but now that it was real it felt like you couldn’t handle it. 

So you ran out of the kitchen table not wanting to hear the cliches about how “it wasn’t your fault” or how “they’re doing this because they want the best for you”. You grabbed your bike and started pedaling as fast as you could. Trying to blink away the frustrating tears that just wouldn’t stop. 

The next thing you knew you ended up at the Chateau. It wasn’t surprising, your friends had always been there when you needed them and you found John B’s house to be your safe place during troubling times. It was the home of some of your best memories. 

You parked your bike next to the porch and fisted your tears as you walked in the Chateau. You didn’t expect any of the Pogues to be here. It was a Saturday afternoon and they had invited you to go surfing but you had declined, too busy with school. You just needed to be somewhere other than your house. 

“Y/N?” You heard a confused, familiar voice, causing you to look up.

“JJ?” You asked, turning and wiping your tears harder, not wanting your longtime crush to see you cry. “What are you doing here? I-I thought you guys were surfing today?”

JJ shrugged. “Got really hungover from last night. Didn’t feel like it,” he paused. “Are you crying?”

“Maybe,” you sniffled.

“Come here,” JJ said, holding his arms open. 

You knew you would probably regret this later, but you couldn’t help but run to JJ’s arms. He had been your source of comfort and familiarity. A constant in your life since you shared crayons in the third grade. No matter how much it hurt to do things like this because you knew it would never be in the way you wanted, it was something you could never turn away. 

JJ wrapped his arms around you, stroking you hair slightly. Whispering sweet nothings and soothing words to quiet your sobs and calm you down. You inhaled the scent of JJ’s sandalwood cologne letting the weight on your shoulders fall down. 

“It’s ok,” he said. “Let it out. I’ve got you.” 

Eventually after you don’t know how long, your tears subsided into sniffles as you just sat there with your head on JJ’s shoulder. He was still stroking your hair, and you just wanted to stay like that forever. 

JJ moved his hand from your hair to underneath your chin, pushing it up so you were looking at each him in his eyes. “What’s wrong pretty girl?” He asked, brushing a piece of hair out of your face. 

You shrugged, wiping your tears. “Everything,” mumbled. “I’m so tired. School is too much. I have to have top grades if I want to get into a good college and I’ve been overworking myself for weeks. And my parents have been fighting nonstop too and they told me they were getting divorced today.”

“I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. I was kind of expecting it anyway. But it was just the shock of it actually happening. And then there’s also you--” You slapped your hands on your mouth, cursing yourself for your slipping mouth. 

The blonde furrowed his brows. “What do you mean me?”

You shook your head furiously. “Never mind. It’s nothing.” You looked everywhere but JJ’s eyes. You couldn’t handle this today. Rejection, losing your best friend, and your parents getting divorced was too much.. 

JJ moved his head so you would look at him. “No, tell me,” he said. “Did I do something wrong?” His voice cracked and you felt new tears welling up. JJ was a pure soul, who didn’t deserve all the suffering he was given. You hated yourself for being the cause of it.

“No you didn’t J,” you said sadly. “It’s just--,” you sighed. You couldn’t believe you were about to do this. “I love you, JJ.” 

JJ scrunched his eyebrows together again. “I love you too Y/N/N,” he said. “What does that have to do with anything/”

“No JJ,” you said softly. “I love you. I’m in love with you.” 

JJ blinked. “Oh, Y/N--”

You shook your head. “No it’s okay. I know you don’t feel the same way. You don’t have to try and put me down gently. I get it. I’m a mess. I literally just cried in your arms for like an hour---” You were aware you were rambling but you couldn’t really stop yourself. Until you felt JJ’s lips on yours. Your jaw and eyes were wide open as you were 80% sure you were dreaming. But you decided even if you were dreaming you might as well enjoy it, so you leaned into the kiss and closed your eyes.

Eventually, you broke apart for air and you breathed heavily. “Wow,” you said.

“Wow indeed,” JJ chuckled. “If I knew you loved me too I would’ve done that a long time ago.” He ran a hand through his hair. “God, I loved you since we were like kids Y/N. Probably since the first time you patched me up when we were kids.”

“You love me too?”

He tilted his head. “Do I need to kiss you again to get it through your head?”

“Maybe you do,” you suggested.

JJ laughed and put his forehead against yours. “I love you,” he whispered. “I’ll say it a million times if that’s what it takes. I love you to the moon and back. I love you to the moon and Saturn. I love you, I love you, I love you.”

“I love you too.” You smiled for the first time in a while. Maybe everything would be okay after all.

marvel masterlist

peter parker masterlist

kate bishop masterlist

To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018) dir. Susan Johnson

stranger things masterlist

steve harrington masterlist

max mayfield masterlist

*doesnt even do the bare minimum* all in a day’s work

girl hughes || trevor zegras

yn.hughes

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yn.hughes life, as of recent 😎💯💸

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trevorzegras

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trevorzegras summer, as of recent 😎💯💸

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yn.hughes summatimeeee 😛😮‍💨

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yn.hughes

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yn.hughes back to my roots! in my jessica day era!!!

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trevorzegras

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trevorzegras girl hughes makes summer better ❤️‍🔥

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