Also I Finished Reading The Vampire L*stat The Day Before Yesterday, Which Was Some Excellent Timing

also i finished reading the vampire l*stat the day before yesterday, which was some excellent timing on my part if i do say so myself.

good things about picking a wrestler for asha's modern fc:

— canon-accurate big muscles — lots of posts with good vibes for greyjoy sibling dynamics due to team content — both " war paint " content from in the ring & everyday content from interviews etc. — ... also i'm gay & she's sooooooooooo gorgeous

🪐 — BLACK SAILS : @azmenka for asha ▶ ❝ The thought of losing you… ❞

❝ DON'T. ❞ she cuts maron off before he can complete the thought, giving a sharp shake of her head. ❝ don't even think of it. i'm fine. i told you, it's barely a scratch. ❞ but the dark splotch on her tunic undercuts her reassurances, a hand-sized patch of drying blood betraying the wound beneath. still, asha knows without looking that it's nothing she can't heal from. she can still breathe in, stand, bend, & turn, all without agony, so she's confident that nothing critical was pierced by the lucky greenlander's spear — it's likely more of a scrape than anything.

maron still looks worried, his face white as he reaches for her as if to check for himself. but asha swats his hand away. his concern is touching, but unwarranted. & besides, their men are still watching — any sign of weakness must be saved for later, when they are alone. ❝ do you remember the time back when we were children doing the finger dance & you nearly took my head off ? ❞ & she smirks, tossing her loose hair back so that he can see the scar on the side of her throat before nudging him affectionately with her elbow. ❝ you came closer to killing me than any greenlander ever has. ❞

so anyway i'm thinking about this interview where jacob says of louis dpdl :

"My feeling about Louis is that he is the most vampire of all of them. He has the highest drive and jonesing for blood, I think he really wants blood, I think he hates human beings. I think everything he says he is, I think he is the opposite. […] I think that's he feels the need to overcompensate for a really deep blood lust, like he really wants to be a vampire. […] He's the reticent vampire because he is reticent to embrace what he is."

& i think that this is really on base, & says a lot about... well, everything tbh. louis tries so hard to be empathetic because he is afraid that he's actually not. &... he's not. this could be a whole other post, but he pretty much never actually acts to help other people. even the act of saving claudia was admittedly more about his own sense of redemption than helping her. & he is a vampire, he does kill. & sometimes he does kill violently, 'theatrically.' & sometimes often, he does enjoy it. he represses those instincts because they are so strong, & because he fears that he cannot separate himself from them any more, & because he has come to believe that they are bad & inherently wrong.

& i'm thinking about how louis, a Black queer creole man living in pre-civil-rights-act era louisiana, was well practiced at suppressing his rage & hatred for other humans, even when he was human. & i think that because he spent his human life trying to advance in his unjust society, & he tried so hard to be "one of the good ones" ( thinking here about his 'exceptional negro' speech in 1.02 ) who would be allowed to live in their world only if he suppressed his true feelings ( his "true nature" if you will ) hard enough. & how this narrative also ties to & compounds with his queerness, & his shame over & suppression of his desires for other men.

& of course, vampirism can be seen as a direct continuation of these themes, & we can see louis modeling the exact same behaviors of repression & self-loathing as it relates to his vampiric nature. he has convinced himself that what he is is inherently wrong & shameful. & i genuinely believe that the only way forward for louis is complete & total acceptance of himself. he is a queer man. he is a Black man — yes, even one who is often ( rightly! ) angry. & he is a vampire who needs to ( & likes to ) feed on humans. these things are all inherent to what & who he is, core elements of his identity that shape how he moves through this world. & he has to learn to be ok with those things... or he will ( continue to ) go insane.

RHEA RIPLEY WWE Fastlane, October 7th, 2023

🪐 — OUR FLAG MEANS DEATH : @baldursgoons ( aurora ) for birdie ▶ ❝ we’re friends. friends tell each other these kind of things. ❞

IT'S BEEN AWHILE since birdie has had a real friend, & she pauses in her work at mending a heavy winter cloak to look up at aurora in surprise. ❝ oh. they do ? ❞ of course, birdie considers almost everyone to be her friend, even those she hasn't met yet. but it's hard to keep friends when you don't stay in one place for very long, & birdie tends to wander on her own more often than not. so to hear the assertion being directed at her brings a broad smile to her face, her pale feathered wings giving a giddy flutter. ❝ i didn't know. i guess i've never had one stick around for long enough to ask. ❞

she hesitates, but aurora seems genuinely curious. & though birdie hasn't had anyone ask for awhile, the story hasn't faded from her memory. her eyes drop to her stitching as she begins. ❝ my father was a mortal — i never met my mother, but he thought her an angel when they first met, on account of her wings. he said they were so great they could almost touch the ground. when she left him, she left me, too. i didn't have my wings when i was a baby, so i guess she thought i was a mortal, & that i should be with my own kind. but when they came in ... ❞ she pauses, glancing back up to catch aurora's eyes, her wings settling close against her back. ❝ my father didn't enjoy having the reminder of her. so i left. i've been on my own ever since. ❞ & birdie smiles then, shrugging. it isn't a sad story ; not to her. after all, it ends with her being set free.

❝ & you ? what of your family ? ❞