Top Of My History Class

Top of my history class

History Musicals

Hamilton: You ever wish the founding fathers got into rap battles?

Jesus Christ Super Star: You ever wish that the Crucifixion of Jesus was fabulous?

Six: You ever wish the six wives of King Henry VIII would get together to start a punk/pop girl band?

Hadestown: You ever wish Ancient Greece was actually the great depression?

Les Miserables: You ever wish the French Revolution was done 100% in song?

Pippin: You ever heard of this one really vague and obscure historical figure and son of Charlemagne, but if it was a circus?

Something Rotten!: You ever wonder about William Shakespeare's rivals and the nephew of Nostradamus but they invented musicals instead?

The Count of Monte Cristo: The French Revolution again but not entirely song this time!

Billy Elliot the Musical: You ever wish you had more reasons to hate Maggie Thatcher?

Natasha, Pierre & the Great Comet of 1812: You ever wish there was a musical about one small tiny part of "War and Peace"?

Jekyll & Hyde: You ever wish Victorian England was edgy with a touch of Hot Topic?

YES SIR

Who needs friends when you have musicals?

I drew a lil Richard Henry Lee

Is Your Theatre Friend Okay?

How to Tell if Your Theatre Person is Okay 

(based on the musical they’re listening to on repeat)

From Least to Most Concerning:

Tuck Everlasting: Probably fine. Your friend might be yearning, though.

Heathers: Probably just routine ennui or angst, but if they’re only listening to “I Am Damaged,” “Lifeboat,” and/or “Kindergarten Boyfriend,” then they’re going through it.

Beetlejuice: If they’re only listening to “Dead Mom” on repeat, then you might want to worry. This is an “I am misunderstood” musical.

Waitress: Typically a chill one, but might be nostalgic and/or feeling stuck. Worth asking if they want to talk about it.

Dear Evan Hansen: Also in the safe zone, but if you hear too much of “Words Fail,” their self esteem is probably in the gutter.

Into the Woods: They’re either genuinely fine and just enjoying Sondheim, or actively having an existential crisis. Very little in between.

Cabaret: They’re either having a fresh and sexy time listening to Alan Cumming sing “Willkommen,” or you need to ask them if they’re all right.

Fun Home: Is your friend a tortured theatre gay? Because this is a tortured theatre gay musical. Just FYI.

Next to Normal: If Next To Normal is on repeat, like honestly on repeat, you might have cause for concern. This is a very high caliber depression musical.

Les Miserables: Your friend is wallowing. They’re probably crying about Gavroche because it’s easier to cry about French revolutionaries than process whatever they’re actually going through.

Spring Awakening: Please worry if someone you know is listening to any part of Spring Awakening on repeat. This is a peak depression musical.

No one:

Me, having a mental breakdown: Cold in my professions warm in my friendships I wish my dear Laurens that it may be in my power to convince you by actions rather than words that I love you you should not have taken advantage of my sensibilities to steal into my affections without my consent Ternant will relate to you how many violent struggles I have had between duty and inclination how much my heart was with you while I appeared to be most actively employed here I should be seen inexcusable in the light of a citizen if I did not put my full effort into the execution of the black levies when there is the smallest hole of success Oh that I were a Demosthenes no Athenians ever deserved more bitter exportation than my countrymen if anything important should happen in your quarter while I am doing daily penance here and making successless harangues I shall execrate my stars and be out of humour with the world a part for the public and another for you she loves you a l’américaine and not à la francois the stars fight against us my friend is it fortune or false combination that fights against us forever yours forever yours you know the unalterable sentiments of your affectionate Laurens quit your sword my friend put on the toga forever yours forever yours ever forever yours

Y'know wanting to learn about world history (although I'm mainly talking about the American Revolution) sucks when you live in a different country which the school curriculum has literally nothing even related to America.