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They say love is an addiction.

I don’t think that though.

Love is more a hyperfixation.

Love is something that you think of constantly.

Love is something you spend countless hours on.

Love is something where it doesn’t matter how near or far you are.

Love is something you can’t get enough of.

An addiction is a horrible thing.

An addiction is the reason I shiver when I hear his name.

An addiction is the reason I stayed when all my friends called me a fool and left me.

An addiction is the reason I let my body get used over and over again.

An addiction is why I get scared when an older man gets near me.

An addiction is why I can’t think of 6th grade without crying.

An addiction is hell.

An addiction is a nightmare.

An addiction isn’t forever but the pain is.

I wish I could tell her how much she truly means to me.

I wish I could tell her how perfect she is.

I wish I could tell her how great her laugh sounds.

I wish I could say that she’s my reason.

I wish I could say that I love her.

But I can’t.

I would lose her.

She wouldn’t talk to me again.

Then I’d lose my reason.

Then I’d lose my everything.

I feel like the Gods made me just for her, but made he for someone else.

Someone who won’t lose their temper when someone insults her.

Someone who won’t get to stressed out and cry.

Someone who could help her instead of drag her down.

Someone not like me.

To experience love, is to hold something dear- something rare and unique to everyone.

To experience love, you must feel pain.

You must feel excitement.

You must feel fear.

And everyone has more of some than others.

I dream of the day I feel all of these at once.

I dream of the day when one moment I’m fearful and the next exploding with joy.

I can’t wait for love.