Deathisadoorway1358 - If I Could Fly, - Tumblr Blog

This and this and this

Hiraeth

@buried-in-broken-dreams I’ll let you make me homeless any fucking day

I don’t rely on stimulants to be my self,

I can be a completely awful person all on my own.

There will never be enough words for me to express my love

it’s been a while but I don’t feel real anymore

It’s been a while but I’m crying myself to sleep again

And now you know me, for your eyes only.

Where you go, I'm going,

so jump and I'm jumping,

Since there is no me without you

- Achilles come down, Gang of Youths.

To my incredibly little bundle of joy;

When others ears failed to hear,

You always listened.

When my sadness drowned me,

You helped me out.

When my faith was dwindling,

You showed me faithful.

unrelenting,

And now your absence consumes me.

The silence you carved out,

Deafens the world.

In my futile attempts at faith

I pray that you are in a better place.

I pray you peace.

I pray that you were happy,

And you life was fulfilling.

For your entire life you stood beside me through everything,

Yet you aren’t here to get me through,

My hardest trial yet.

But it is my greatest honor,

To have lived with your kindness,

Your grace,

Your service,

And you.

And she was right,

I didn’t deserve you.

Nobody did.

May you Rest In Peace and Rise In Glory.

28th October 2010 - 18th January 2022

‘Philtatos’ I will say sharply.

My most beloved.

Even now sometimes when I close my eyes I see the sight of you telling me, the smell of the musky books on the shelf, hear nothing but the silence and you voice, telling me, showing me my worst fears.

13th Jan 2018

this was the worst day of my life.

and it was so not because you didn’t reciprocate my feelings or because it was done in school and I couldn’t properly process it, but because I thought I lost you.

and it was my fault.

and there was nothing I could do about it.

because I finally found someone who understood me, someone I opened up to and shared parts of myself I never showed anyone else.

it was never meant for you to know this about me, and at that moment when you asked me about my feeling for you I knew that we would never be the same.

that day hurt me the most because after we landed in Vietnam my father went to see my mother at her office. so as I waited in that hotel room looking out of the balcony , watching the sun set in that foreign country I realized that I was truly alone.

and no amount of crying would change that.

@buried-in-broken-dreams​

It’s been a while but I’ve forgotten what happy feels like

It’s been a while but I’m crying myself to sleep again

I will always be too dark to be someone else’s sun.

"we'll be alright"

-Fine Line, Harry Styles

will we?

tell me.

every broken heart as far as the eye can see is a

copy

of a copy

of a copy

i told you i was okay but i was lying

i was dancing with the devil.

out of control.

almost made it to heaven, it was closer than you know.

my heart belongs to you.

and nobody else.

because nobody else 

matters.

Young & beautiful , Velvetoscar

"dear patience, can we share a drink and let go of the pressure ?"

Dear patience , Niall Horan

"we'll get the drinks in so i'll get to thinking i'm fine"

Fine Line, Harry Styles

now i can say i am sad

Don't ask if I'm happy, you know that I'm not,

But atleast I can say I'm not sad

what am i now

what am i now

what if i’m someone you don’t want around?

11th October 2020

so i had the realization that even though i only have you, 

only you to keep me happy,

you have them;

all of their love and affection,

to keep you happy.

so what’s so special about me?