an-angels-blessing

An Angel's Blessing

Hi, I'm Angel, a senior in high school. I am really new to the whole Tumblr thing… Unless you count smut, angst, and fluff I've been reading since I was like 12. 🤷‍♂️ I made this account so I could vent without the pressure of caring what other people think…. so you should also be able to do the same. I got this idea from my new book called Symptoms of Being Human, by Jeff Garvin, I haven't finished it but it's good so far. 7/10 recommendation rn.

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How Did You Know?

Part One

I can’t really say that my family is the route of all my problems though. Though, it is the reason I can’t look at things clearly. It is also the reason I just took a 15 minute break to cry, breath, and ultimately rethink everything I’m about to post. Yet, here we are and I’m still typing so I guess it did something. It is really weird being sorta in the closet. It’s not like my parents are homophobic, my older sister is gay but that’s just it… my sister is an out cis-gender bisexual female. And, I’m… here. I don’t really know what I am. To anyone who asks I’ll say I’m cis-gender and straight. Both of those aren’t far from the truth but that isn’t the truth either. I had to make a new google account for this blog, and they ask the normal thing… name… birthday… but when they asked me my gender… I blanked, ya know. I’m so used to just answering, because I didn’t know who would see that… my name was always attached to it. So I said that I prefer not to say, which isn’t true either… I just don’t care. I know what is between my legs… so what does it matter what everyone else thinks. I am a pansexual non-binary teenager. It kinda feels good to say out loud… or well… not really out loud so to speak… or type I guess. I’m afraid to come out, which is ironic because I was just telling someone we shouldn’t be afraid as high schoolers. Yet, here I am… known who I was since 7th grade and yet only 4 people know about half of who I am… and when I say 8 I mean 8 people who truly matter to me… the type that if I lost them I would be back where we started years ago. And I almost was when I got accused of acting like my sister for wanting to come out. They asked me if I was doing this because I love acting like my sister, doing that because she was my role model, how… how did I know? I simply couldn’t answer that one, how did I know I was gay… I mean how does anyone know they are straight… you don’t. You can’t really say when that feeling clicked…. was it your first crush in kindergarten… or was it the elementary relationship that your parents claimed was adorable. You don’t know, so how am I supposed to. My first kiss was in 1st grade, with my best friend under our elementary school math table. I honestly don’t remember it, but I think she was pretty good for us to be 6. My second kiss was in 8th grade, with a family friend… now that was a good kiss. Then in 9th grade I kissed my first girlfriend, I think was the moment I knew that I can’t pick one gender… and I really don’t care to pick one… they are all so amazing. Men (still debatable), women, non-binary, gender fluid… you just can’t go wrong.

Part Three

How Did You Know?

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